Tell it like it is - short comments for my blog

[inappropriatelyemployed]

Your chance to tell it like it is - anonymously.

I can post your pearls of wisdom on my blog.

I can let you have details if you PM me or you can just post on here.

A short para or two with the things you want to tell other parents.

Anything: no holds barred.

COME ON - MAKE SOME NOISE!!

'A school that claims they have extensive experience with children with disabilities doesn't necessarily have any expertise.'

'The word 'professional' means that someone is paid for their work, it doesn't mean they are an expert. It is entirely probably that as a parent you have more expertise with regards to meeting your child's needs than a professional, though you are not paid.'

My boys are brighter than me. They are more determined than me. They work twice as hard in the course of one day than I do in a month. They're the dictionary-bastard definition of the 'strivers' you hear this Government banging on about every chance it gets. Despite all this, they'll have a tiny fraction of the life chances I've had.

How come? It's not because they're disabled. There are ways and means of accepting, adjusting for, and overcoming that. It's down to one reason, and one reason only. It's because they not getting the support they need, in the quality and quantity they need, when they need it most - and the people who are stopping them from getting it are people whose job it is to help them.

It's not just the hollow-souled Dementors in the LA SEN offices. The disease is deeper than that. It's the school senior leadership teams who believe that £6k is better spent on mock-Ofsteds than on bought-in SALT. It's the Tribunal panel members on £450 per day, intoning piously on a cost differential that's less than the cost of the panel's annual first class upgrade expenses. It's the Council chief executives who pay end-year bonuses to SEN teams if they reduce spending on indie or non-maintained placements. And ultimately, it's a Secretary of State of Education who is willing and able to bring LA education services to heel when it suits him - but who won't do the same for our kids, even though he has a sibling with SN.

With the exception of a handful of brave, talented, and increasingly kamikaze professionals, we're on our own. Fight together, or see our kids sink. And I'll fight with my last gin-soaked breath.

Puts down cider and stands and applauds!!

God Ugger - what the hell can we do? It's just so depressing! Your post reduced me to tears.

I really do hope that the pen is mightier than the sword! All power to IE and her campaign.

MAKE SOME NOISE!!!!

That's an amazing post ugger and made me want to cry.

I'm struggling on a personal level with all of this. My ds is safe for the moment but I feel that we are on leave from a bloody war where we will have to return and where others are losing their lives to it whilst we rest.

I am exhausted and depressed at the thought of our return and at the thought of the families currently at the frontline. My nights are full of terror for those families because I have lived it, but I feel currently battle-weary. Whatever life I can build for my family now I can't un-live it. My dh has also admitted he has plummeted into depression. Your whole belief system gets shattered because this war is a hidden one, a secret one, one your neighbours don't know you are fighting and wouldn't believe. And actually you are not fighting proactively, you are defending an attack, an attack on your childs basic human rights.

It's probably been said but; trust your instincts. Don't take things as agreed unless it's written. Do your own research. Don't expect experts/professionals who have expressed an opinion to support you when involved in an investigation surrounding your complaint. Ofsted aren't interested in individual cases but how else can you illustrate what's at fault. Head teachers are untouchable should you challenge their methods of supporting your child. Keep a diary from the first discussion/meeting. Nothing is ever informal. They're noting everything. So should you. Don't give up but take breaks to stop it overwhelming you.

The thing is Star, although you are exhausted and depressed, you HAVE made a difference. You certainly have made a difference to me. I am knackered and worn down with it but with only 2 weeks to go before Tribunal, you and others keep me going. Yes it's hidden and secret but places like MNSN is one place where YOU do make a difference and your concern could help a child like mine.

Endof thanks. That needs to be said.

Ugger can I use your post on the blog - it's amazing!

Star - I know what you mean, I always feel better if I feel I am doing something even if no one listens, I am doing something!

Absolutely Keep. Without this site and posters like Star we would all be lost.

Aw, thanks Keep, thanks guys.

It's my therapy I reckon. My ds has lost two years that could have made the difference to his independent living. I have done my absolute best. I made mistakes but they are not mistakes that can have been avoided since they were to do with taking seriously tribunal deadlines etc. and believing the LA would do the same, that kind of thing iyswim.

However, whilst it is too late for me to learn from them, it isn't too late for others that I can share them with. That's why I want to shout out: 'Don't consent to sharing information!', 'Don't trust Parent Partnership', 'Take a witness', 'Don't EVER think that this is your one meeting to get things sorted. Chances are no-ones going to listen however articulate and convincing your argument, and you can bet with some certainty there will be another meeting 6 months from now to discuss exactly the same thing!'.

I wish a sympathetic journalist would see this thread and publicise what goes on again and again to families that should be being supported. The powers that be threaten us at the drop of a hat if we dare to criticise.
You are so right Star - it is a bloody, never ending war with not just the child but the whole family ending up as casualties of 'friendly fire'.
It is totally shameful.

Well if anyone knows one point them in the direction of the blog. I am tweeting like mad if you want to follow

I've just tweeted you IE (and got a retweet back)

In this day and age of new media opportunities, it doesn't need a journalist. I watched on a totally unrelated topic, how just one blogger managed to stop the mighty wheels of a very large government-backed organisation literally demolish a building from East London's rich past.

A blogger stopped the demolition stone dead. Developers had to reconsider, lottery money was withdrawn and the top-man, who held all the power, was hanged out to dry by his own (re-blogged) words.

The pen is mightier than the sword and with people like IE, we can make noise.

(Although, on reflection, sadly this says more about people's passion for ancient buildings - will they care the same for disabled children?)

Share your ideas and I will put the grunt work in tweeitn , have just tweeted at a couple of well-known journos. Give me ideas!!

With the exception of a handful of brave, talented, and increasingly kamikaze professionals, we're on our own

So true. And we're unbelievably lucky that DS's paediatrician is close enough to her pension to take a chance on upsetting the bosses.

Is that really true? Do SEN teams get bonuses by reducing the number of independent placements? I'm actually shocked that could happen. How cold you get this confirmed - would a freedom of information request reveal it?

Star, it's a real shame your GP forgot his O'level Eng Lit

?Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't after you?
― Joseph Heller, Catch-22

"'I am taking trouble with you, Winston,' [O'Brien] said, 'because you are worth the trouble. You know perfectly well what is the matter with you. You have known it for years, though you have fought against the knowledge. You are mentally deranged"

• George Orwell, 1984

[Bronden] ?I been silent so long now it's gonna roar out of me like floodwaters and you think the guy telling this is ranting and raving my God; you think this is too horrible to have really happened, this is too awful to be the truth! But, please. It's still hard for me to have a clear mind thinking on it. But it's the truth even if it didn't happen?

• Ken Kesey, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest

bjk I don't know if it is so explicit, but bonuses and promotions are based on whether you are considered to have done a 'good job', and that will be defined by the culture that you are working in.

Brillinat Mumu. Is that your contribution?

Have tweeted at MNHQ to see if they will retweet my tweet - not joy yet!

Wonder if they know any journos??

I'm trying, but I'm SO not getting twitter....

WRT Journos, most marketing departments purchase databases of journos. Do you have a marketing/pr person who could give you a look of their database or print of a list for you to borrow?

i'd like to see your blog. How do I get there?

www.dwpub.com/freetrial/

Something like this any good?

I think these below are free:

MuckRack is a resource for finding journalists on twitter (www.muckrack.com). You can filter by beat, source or trending topic. Downside is that it's still a pretty thin database, but it can be good for augmenting your research efforts or for developing a "seed list.

?Flacklist www.flacklist.com (unspecified)
?Media UK www.mediauk.com (UK)

?Journalisted www.journalisted.com (UK)
?PressPass www.presspass.me (US, UK)

It's taken me a while Star but I'm getting the hang of it. There are a couple of seasoned tweeters here who can help!

PM me for blog details.