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'This Is My Child': our long-planned campaign on children with additional needs

401 replies

RowanMumsnet · 10/06/2013 12:51

Hello

As some of you will remember, we started this thread a few months back to get your input about a possible campaign around children with additional needs.

The thread was hugely informative - thanks very much to everyone who gave their views. Many of you were asking for a broadly-focused campaign encompassing visible and non-visible disabilities among children, teenagers and adults, and across many platforms (poster advertisements, television campaigns and so on). Much as we'd like to do this sort of thing in an ideal world, realistically we're bound by the resources that are available to us. We've also found, over the years, that campaigns with a very specific focus can do much better than those with more general messages. In addition, we're mindful that many of the big campaigning organisations in this space have already undertaken more general awareness-raising campaigns to do with capacities and needs of people with disabilities, and we try not to re-invent the wheel (although we're always happy to add our voice to such campaigns when asked).

So we've decided to go with an awareness-raising campaign focused on the ways in which caring for a child with additional needs can change a family's life, and the myths about disability that can have negative impacts on such children and their carers. We're going to call it This Is My Child (again, thanks for all the input) as we think it's simple, arresting and suits the aims of the campaign best.

We're going to be addressing myths like:

MYTH: children with behavioural disabilities are just naughty and need a firm hand
MYTH: people in receipt of disability-related payments are likely to be 'scroungers'
MYTH: children with additional needs in mainstream schooling are drawing resources and attention away from other children
MYTH: it's easy to get a Blue Badge and mobility vehicles
MYTH: a non-expert can accurately judge the capacities and potential of a child with additional needs

We're going to be putting up a myth-busting page (similar to our We Believe You myth-buster here) which will be heavily featured across the site and promoted from our social media accounts, hopefully with some mainstream press coverage. We're also going to be featuring guest blogs on the topic and holding an event on Twitter using the hashtag #thisismychild; watch this space for details.

There are a few things we'd really like your help with:

  1. Do let us have suggestions for myths you'd like busted (there's a limit to how many we can do, but it would be great to hear your thoughts).
  2. Do you have any Top Tips for how to deal with situations in which you - particularly as a parent or carer - have been subject to ignorant or hostile responses from members of the public when out and about with your child? We'd love to put together a list of ninja ways to defuse, inform or simply get rid.
  3. To go with the 'This Is My Child' theme, we're asking for MNers who are parents of or carers for children with additional needs to send in pictures of their child, which we will use for a photo gallery on the site. These can be completely anonymous and needn't be linked to your RL or MN name if you'd rather not; the idea is to personalise the issue for members of the public. If you'd be up for doing this, do please send in a digital photo (a roughly 500-pixel-sized image in a jpg, gif or png format) along with a caption (which can be pretty much anything you please: 'This is my child. He's eight and he loves Star Wars' - that sort of thing) to [email protected], with the subject heading 'This Is My Child, FAO Campaigns Team'.

Thanks for reading this far - as ever, do please let us know what you think.

OP posts:
GobbySadcase · 16/06/2013 19:25

That still doesn't excuse it or justify it, Fanjo.
Hope HQ are reading and taking on board. Unless its ok to as anything you like around here now as long as its unintentional or borne of ignorance...

inappropriatelyemployed · 16/06/2013 19:30

I agree. I do think equality issues have gone in waves:

Race

Sex

Sexuality

Disability

But no one seems to see disability issues properly in that light. Or no one with any 'power' in society despite the law.

So we get situations where it is ok to be 'unintentionally disablist' (and presumably that was established by discussion rather than assumption?? Hmm

As Eleanor Roosevelt, who as a member of the UN Commission in Human Rights, declared about the UN Declaration on Human Rights:

"Where, after all, do universal human rights begin? In small places, close to home - so close and so small that they cannot be seen on any maps of the world. Yet they are the world of the individual person; the neighborhood he lives in; the school or college he attends; the factory, farm, or office where he works. Such are the places where every man, woman, and child seeks equal justice, equal opportunity, equal dignity without discrimination. Unless these rights have meaning there, they have little meaning anywhere. Without concerted citizen action to uphold them close to home, we shall look in vain for progress in the larger world."

I think those small places include MUMSNET!

MumuDeLulu · 16/06/2013 20:15

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

inappropriatelyemployed · 16/06/2013 20:20

Precisely. Seen in that context, how can this be condoned? It undermines precisely what it is said is to be achieved by this campaign.

Myth - disabled kiddies just need people to be kinder and a bit more 'tolerant' of them.

Fact- disabled children have rights. GET OVER IT! Angry

Use that as the basis of your campaign!

Bluebirdonmyshoulder · 16/06/2013 20:39

Well said Mumu.

MNHQ, I'm thoroughly disappointed in you.

I also think it's really niggardly of the cafe owners not to serve people with disabilities.

Waiting with interest....

hazeyjane · 16/06/2013 20:47

Bluebird, the cafe owner (who was the op) didn't say anything about not serving people with disabilities, and there was nothing in the op to say the child had sn.

Summerloading · 16/06/2013 20:50

Add message | Report | Message poster FanjoForTheMammaries Sun 16-Jun-13 19:22:02
Thanks. However they told.me by email to deal with it on the thread as they thought the disablism was unintentional.

MNHQ I think it's time to admit you got this one wrong. Whether unintentional or borne out of ignorance, it is still disablist.

Or else there's no point to this campaign Sad

Bluebirdonmyshoulder · 16/06/2013 20:53

Sorry, I've got the wrong end of the stick from reading other people's posts. Must admit I didn't wade through the whole thread, a mistake! Blush

But I think Fanjo's points are completely valid. Whether there's ever anything in an OP about SN or not doesn't matter because it does sometimes seem as though whenever someone knowledgeable offers that as a possible cause of 'bad' behaviour, they get gleefully shouted down and some quite subtle yet nevertheless unpleasant SN bashing commences.

Thereonthestair · 16/06/2013 21:28

I also agree that a lot of that thread is offensive, disablist, and casts doubt on what mnhq are presumably trying to do. I have just read the last few pages and cannot believe so many offensive, unlawful views have been allowed to stand. I am very very sad that nothing appears to have moved on. Not just from the pantomime thread but also from the position that the sn community needed to educate others. There are so many people arguing so congently against disablist and offensive crap on there it is clear that there is a long was to go.

Which brings me on to one of the biggest myths. Treating people the same means there is equality.

Reality reasonable adjustments should be made to accommodate disability otherwise ther is no equality as the opportunity is so unequal at the outset.

This means it is not only lawful, but fair to treat disabled people more favourably in many circumstances. Parking, queuing, making noises, getting out of buses and lifts. The reason the law enshrines these rights is because they are needed. And they are rights, not privileges.

Dawndonna · 16/06/2013 21:34

That thread has exhausted me today. Sad

Dawndonna · 16/06/2013 22:02

Lost it now. Seems we don't know how to parent our dcs, either.

TapselteerieO · 16/06/2013 22:29

Let's start talking of educational rights not needs.

I think inappropriatelyemployed posted this and I it is a very good point. I have not been on mn this weekend, so I'm just catching up.

GobbySadcase · 16/06/2013 22:32

Yes, now a request for an apology.
So short sighted I'm wondering if head is jammed up posterior.

BlackeyedSusan · 16/06/2013 22:43

Your inability to understand my dc's SEN doesn't mean she's fine. It just means you're ignorant, arrogant, unprofessional and in the wrong.

this is worth repeating.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 16/06/2013 22:54

Hmm..how to word it..

It will be a cold day in Hell before I apologise to a bitch like you? Maybe...

Grin
BlackeyedSusan · 16/06/2013 22:56

children with autism can have meltdowns over seemingly trivial things. you can not stop a melt down by telling them to do what they are told for mummy (yes you teacher) if only it was that simple then I think we might have been able to work that one out for ourselves. Hmm

do not presume that it is poor parenting and that you dear teacher are the fount of all knowledge and can solve discipline problems by being firm. as it happens, i was teaching children to read and teaching in innercity schools, with hard to discipline children while you were still in nappies.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 16/06/2013 23:01

What gets me about that thread...people are more annoyed about us mentioning SN and being upset than at the people saying hideous things...do not understand it

hazeyjane · 16/06/2013 23:06

I know, I feel like I am being told to get back in my box for daring to mention sn, when it is perfectly relevant, when talking about children screaming or making noise in a cafe, to talk about our children making noise in a cafe.

tabulahrasa · 16/06/2013 23:07

On the back of that other thread...

Disabilities are not always visible and can not always be noticed by a stranger during an encounter. There is not a big flashing sign over a child pointing out that they have a disability.

Equality does not mean treating everybody the same. Expecting a child with a disability that causes it to make noises can't be expected to just 'behave' like any other child any more than a blind child will learn to read by using the Oxford reading tree like every other child or a deaf child can be expected to listen to instructions like any other child or that a child in a wheelchair can go up stairs like any other child. Equality for people with a disability requires other people to make adjustments, even when the disability affects things that other people can control like noise or behaviour.

EllenJanesthickerknickers · 17/06/2013 01:26

I've just posted something very similar on that thread, someone saying that I should take my child out if they were disturbing others.

Brdgrl, luckily that is just your opinion. The law, however, does allow that for those with disabilities reasonable adjustments must be made to ensure that there is an even playing field. You may be surprised to learn that equality doesn't mean treating everybody the same, it means giving everyone an equal chance. Half an hour out of your life is a reasonable adjustment. It's every minute of mine, not just half an hour. Please show some compassion and tolerance.

EllenJanesthickerknickers · 17/06/2013 01:43

OMG, her reply to this post and tabulahrasa's is just horrific. I've reported it. Shock

tabulahrasa · 17/06/2013 01:46

I'm still sat here going Shock HmmConfusedShock...

EllenJanesthickerknickers · 17/06/2013 01:48

I mean, I was having a bit of a strong discussion and all, but that response! Fucking hell!

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 17/06/2013 07:13

That thread is appalling.

If MNHQ meant it re the campaign they should have been on it supporting us.

MN is very far from an SN friendly place.

This was a great chance to start the campaign.

Anyway..I said I was leaving. Wish it wasn't so but feel I have no choice.

Take care all :)

chocnomore · 17/06/2013 07:15

why has mumu's post beem deleted yet people on the cafe thread are allowed to keep posting their disabilist views?