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'This Is My Child': our long-planned campaign on children with additional needs

401 replies

RowanMumsnet · 10/06/2013 12:51

Hello

As some of you will remember, we started this thread a few months back to get your input about a possible campaign around children with additional needs.

The thread was hugely informative - thanks very much to everyone who gave their views. Many of you were asking for a broadly-focused campaign encompassing visible and non-visible disabilities among children, teenagers and adults, and across many platforms (poster advertisements, television campaigns and so on). Much as we'd like to do this sort of thing in an ideal world, realistically we're bound by the resources that are available to us. We've also found, over the years, that campaigns with a very specific focus can do much better than those with more general messages. In addition, we're mindful that many of the big campaigning organisations in this space have already undertaken more general awareness-raising campaigns to do with capacities and needs of people with disabilities, and we try not to re-invent the wheel (although we're always happy to add our voice to such campaigns when asked).

So we've decided to go with an awareness-raising campaign focused on the ways in which caring for a child with additional needs can change a family's life, and the myths about disability that can have negative impacts on such children and their carers. We're going to call it This Is My Child (again, thanks for all the input) as we think it's simple, arresting and suits the aims of the campaign best.

We're going to be addressing myths like:

MYTH: children with behavioural disabilities are just naughty and need a firm hand
MYTH: people in receipt of disability-related payments are likely to be 'scroungers'
MYTH: children with additional needs in mainstream schooling are drawing resources and attention away from other children
MYTH: it's easy to get a Blue Badge and mobility vehicles
MYTH: a non-expert can accurately judge the capacities and potential of a child with additional needs

We're going to be putting up a myth-busting page (similar to our We Believe You myth-buster here) which will be heavily featured across the site and promoted from our social media accounts, hopefully with some mainstream press coverage. We're also going to be featuring guest blogs on the topic and holding an event on Twitter using the hashtag #thisismychild; watch this space for details.

There are a few things we'd really like your help with:

  1. Do let us have suggestions for myths you'd like busted (there's a limit to how many we can do, but it would be great to hear your thoughts).
  2. Do you have any Top Tips for how to deal with situations in which you - particularly as a parent or carer - have been subject to ignorant or hostile responses from members of the public when out and about with your child? We'd love to put together a list of ninja ways to defuse, inform or simply get rid.
  3. To go with the 'This Is My Child' theme, we're asking for MNers who are parents of or carers for children with additional needs to send in pictures of their child, which we will use for a photo gallery on the site. These can be completely anonymous and needn't be linked to your RL or MN name if you'd rather not; the idea is to personalise the issue for members of the public. If you'd be up for doing this, do please send in a digital photo (a roughly 500-pixel-sized image in a jpg, gif or png format) along with a caption (which can be pretty much anything you please: 'This is my child. He's eight and he loves Star Wars' - that sort of thing) to [email protected], with the subject heading 'This Is My Child, FAO Campaigns Team'.

Thanks for reading this far - as ever, do please let us know what you think.

OP posts:
GobbySadcase · 17/06/2013 10:53

I have a feeling that now open minded people are arriving on the cafe thread HQ are going to pull the "we'll let it stand as its being challenged" shtick.

Please don't pull that shit on us again. It mocks your campaign.

hazeyjane · 17/06/2013 10:54

I know depressing to see it suggested that if a child is screaming at story time, the best solution is for them to be taken out and distracted....what every day? ad infinitum? We are going through this with ds, he has only just started with preschool,I don't want the only solution to be 'get him out so he doesn't ruin everyone else's story time'. I want them to at least try and see of there are ways he can access some of circle time - a song, a game, a sshort story which he could enjoy (preferably only 5 words long and involving firemen!)

GobbySadcase · 17/06/2013 11:00

Not only that but how are they going to learn (if capable of doing so) by observing if they're being removed all the time?

(Completely understand this isn't true in all cases but high functioning DS does copy his peers, problem is he can't distinguish between desirable and undesirable behaviour).

ArbitraryUsername · 17/06/2013 11:17

Tbh, I give up on the cafe thread. It just shows how far understanding of SN needs to change.

GobbySadcase · 17/06/2013 11:22

Apparently I'm jumping on people by asking why posts by parents with different experiences of parenting are considered 'derailing', even if they are in context with the OP.

Professionally Offended
Derailing

People round here really want to shut down posts by people with differing experiences don't they?

Don't want to face an unpalatable truth? Shut it down. Pour scorn. Isolate people who are already isolated.

GobbySadcase · 17/06/2013 11:25

STILL no word from HQ...

ArbitraryUsername · 17/06/2013 11:28

Oh and tell them that they are 'selfish' and bring in other SN examples to show them that they must lock their unacceptable child away henceforth.

All totally in the spirit of the 'this in my child' campaign.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 17/06/2013 11:30

I post on other parts of MN.

And whilst we're at it MN, perhaps you could politely remind the people who post on "Relationships" that the reason a person behaving abusively towards their spouse or significant other is not always down to the bloke in question having Aspergers Syndrome or being somewhere on the autistic spectrum.

I have challenged that particular assertion more than once now on some threads in relationships hence me mentioning it.

ArbitraryUsername · 17/06/2013 11:32

It's probably taking a long time to read the thread and decide what to do, to be fair on MNHQ. It'll probably fill up before they reach the end, but then someone will start a part 2. To be honest, deleting the thread probably wouldn't help either. There'd be the usual rash of 'what happened to that thread' threads and the general consensus would be that the 'professionally offended' had it shut down.

Hence, everyone at MNHQ has come in to a nightmare morning at work.

buildingmycorestrength · 17/06/2013 11:49

If only there was money in being professionally offended. I'd definitely take that up as a career because there is a LOT to get offended about in the way people treat the vulnerable.

ArbitraryUsername · 17/06/2013 11:54

Building: thanks for the pm. I'll reply once I wrestle the iPad from DS2 who is ill and using it to watch crap. I'm stuck with my phone.

I wonder what the pay and conditions are for the professionally offended. Do you think there's a final salary pension scheme?

HelenMumsnet · 17/06/2013 11:57

OK. We have (almost) got to grips with the cafe thread now. And we have posted to make it very clear that we do not tolerate posts that are disablist in tone and intent.

We've also said at that it's clear that the This Is My Child campaign has much to do in terms of raising awareness and extending tolerance of children with special needs.

Thereonthestair · 17/06/2013 12:08

thank you for trying. But the fact that too little was done, and done too late has once again caused a lot of damage, and sadness.

I don't have a child who makes noises in cafes. And as such I am not personally concerned with this for my child. I am however very concerned that the amount of vtiriol which was being posted and directed at certain posters who were trying repeatedly to explain calmly and then sometime less calmly what matters to them, and why, and why certain comments were wrong, rude and offensive.

It makes me concerned that this site still has a long way to go, and society has further to go. I found many of the comments offensive and obtuse and I am therefore concerned that supporting this campaign may be counterproductive.

so time for something which I hope will soon become a myth. Tolerance means that the SN community have to tolerate abuse and ignorance everywhere. I hope one day that is no longer the case

ArbitraryUsername · 17/06/2013 12:08

Thanks Helen. I bet you could do with some gin by now. Grin

HelenMumsnet · 17/06/2013 12:36

@ArbitraryUsername

Thanks Helen. I bet you could do with some gin by now. Grin

Thank you. I might have had some already... Blush

Jux · 17/06/2013 12:48

I would like to see schools discussing disabilities with pupils, properly. I would like them to say defiitely that just because someone is in a wheel chair does not mean they are more disabled than someone who isn't. And so on.

gimmeanaxe · 17/06/2013 12:49

Perhaps the 'This is my child' campaign shouldnt be hidden away on the SN section where non-sn people rarely, if ever, venture.

HelenMumsnet · 17/06/2013 12:55

@gimmeanaxe

Perhaps the 'This is my child' campaign shouldnt be hidden away on the SN section where non-sn people rarely, if ever, venture.

It won't be. This is just the "heads-up" thread, gimmeanaxe.

eminemmerdale · 17/06/2013 12:55

Late to this but I have a deaf daughter and I am deaf too - although we are not 'considered' deaf' by society in general becasue we do have some hearing. I would like to also bust the myth that we need to be SHOUTED at Grin, and no we don't 'look' deaf either. I have recently applied for and got lowest rate DLA - this is going to have to be put towards a private operation for dd to have a hearing aid, as she isn't 'deaf enough' to get one on the NHS - Despite endless studies that show that one sided deafmness is detrimental and can cause a lot of issues. So, NO, I am not a scrounger, I don't automatically get a car a badge and a house with the £21 a week they are giving me, and you do not need to look sad or shout.

GobbySadcase · 17/06/2013 13:55

Right. Cafe thread full.
Glad I got the 'replace SN kids (yuck) with black people' post in.

hazeyjane · 17/06/2013 14:04

I did just want to hand some Flowers out to the posters who had said that they would be continuing to take their dcs out to cafes and on buses and to libraries and museums etc etc, flapping and spinning and screeching and all. As everyone had been congratulating those parent's of children with sn for saying they would leave (which is fine, as all parent's, children and special needs are different).

Because, like Rosa Parks refusing to change seats on a bus, our children are here, they, and we are society, and should be free to be wherever they are happy to be.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 17/06/2013 14:05

Flowers and all sorts of accolades given on café thread to a poster who said we shouldn't mention a child may have SN.

Depressing and sums up MN attitudes, to me.

I am not leaving though as appreciate MNHqs stance although it was belated.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 17/06/2013 14:07

These posters suggesting the kids should leave were absolutely disgusting IMO.

GobbySadcase · 17/06/2013 14:10

Yep. We should all 'do the right thing' and isolate ourselves further.

Then you fit the saintly stereotype.

routineandrules · 17/06/2013 14:12

Can I ask what section this cafe thread is in please?