AS Ds constantly needs me to sit next to him while doing his homework

[crazeelaydee]

My Ds 8 needs me to be sat right next to him (it can't be across the room I have to be sat at the table with him) while he does any homework involving reading/writing. I have to get him to read the question and then translate what the question is asking, after I have done this he seems to get on with it then the same is done for the next and so on. I only noticed this when he started to bring home random pieces of written maths homework. If it isn't written it just takes a small amount (dependant on mood of the day) of encouragement to help him start off...because after all why should he have to do school work at home!?! .

This makes me wonder if that's why his written work has very recently started to improve after DH suggested a 'buddy' who can sit next to him in class? who doesn't struggle with the work and will answer any questions. Before this he was getting 10 mins 1-1 at the start of the lesson with his CT but once she had left him he just sat fiddling.

Personally I don't like the idea of another Dc having to do this for my Ds as I feel that it may hinder their own learning (if they have to keep stopping to help Ds). Is anyone else's Dc like this? Do you think I could use this towards my evidence for a statement? even though the buddy seems to be working?

Yes use it as evidence, I can't help with statements but my ds is 9 and has similar problems, he needs prompted to focus on his work and gets tired and distracted easily, hw is a problem - I need to prepare him for doing it, he refuses regularly and I end up ghost writing his verbal answers then get him to over write, so it is his work but I give him lots of extra support.

If you look at the stuff educational psychologists might be concerned about that might help your statement - I came across this when I was looking for information to help my ds recently - I am in Scotland so it might not be exactly the same where you are but still useful hopefully.

Do you think the issue is confidence or inability to interpret the task? My ds is 7 and also needs me to sit beside him throughout his homework but with him it's to do with perfectionism and lack of confidence I think. He needs reassurance that he's doing the right thing because he can't bear getting anything wrong. I also have to have a rubber ready to erase mistakes at high speed otherwise he gets really upset.
Wondering if you can work out the root of the problem and that might help lead to a solution ( and then you can tell me it so I don't have to sit with ds anymore :) )

Thanks TapselteerieO I will take a look at the link shortly.

shoppingbagsundereyes I have a rubber on stand by too which jumps in to save the day if there is a spelling mistake . I'm not so sure TBH what the root cause is and I am going around in circles trying to find out what it is, he does become overly upset when he makes mistakes and he does tend to sway from an activity if he decides that he might not be able to do it, but this only ever seems to be with the written part of homework (writing in general has been a thorn in his side for some years at school now). The school have come to the conclusion that it's because he doesn't want to do it because after being assessed by an EP (verbally ) he was found to be more than capable, but in the past I have seen my Ds very enthusiastic about writing a story (not school related!) came out with some cracking ideas but then when he sat down to do it within 3 minutes he was in bits saying that he was useless and it belonged in the bin so there's signs of low self esteem coming in to it there too.

For those poor MNetter's who are sick of seeing my repetitive threads about my Ds's writing! I apologise but I can't stop until I find out what's causing all this bloomin trouble!

So I can use the fact that additional support even though by another pupil is something that is needed for his statement? I also think he needs more help with the social side of things at the moment he has small group work for his literacy and this is also being used as time spent working on his social skills so doesn't really extend onto the play ground IYSWIM?

I used to support a DC with ASD who needed constant prompting to stay on task. He would start but just drift off on to planet DC. He needed his work chunked up into small tasks which he could do independently but hen needed prompting to move onto the next task. Like write the date and WALT, underline. Write two sentences as an introduction. Write a descriptive sentence using an adjective. Etc, etc.

I'd say it's good evidence that he needs more support if he can't focus on his work once the teacher has left him.

That's definitely evidence that he needs 1:1 in order to function in class, and not just from another child (I was the child who ended up having children who were struggling sat next to me in some classes and I really resented it because it stopped me getting on with my own work at my own pace)

DS1 no longer needs wants me with him to answer questions and act as pacemaker but i still need to drop by and guide him.

DS2 had lots of difficulty at that age, to the point where I was having to sit with him talking him through every mini-step of the process. It turned out that he was having trouble breaking the homework down into manageable parts. I wrote him a 'Guide to Doing Homework':

1. Draw a margin if there isn't one already there.
2. Write a title and underline it with a ruler.
3. Write the date. and so on... One of the ideas that helped him was to underline key words in the question that gave him clues as to what they were asking for. He is now in Y6 and completes all of his homework independently without prompting, support or assistance, so there is hope.