Ok, I was going to wait but I have had enough,there are too many little things wrong that shouldn't be so I went in there to talk to someone...
Now bear in mind that the teachers have not mentioned any issues so far other than a couple of hiding under a table and not being quiet at carpet time. (We have had two meltdowns on drop off, one of which dinky attacked me with a pair if scissors).
The HT was off sick, so I spoke to the deputy.
He has been called in twice to deal with dinky already and she has been removed from class on those occasions and a few others.
She does try to abscond and this was the main concern regarding the trip, as it is to a place with a large lake and a large heavily wooded area. He apologised for the way it was approached regarding the trip, but laid out his concerns from the schools point of view. I gave him my concerns and we came to an agreement I was happy with.
In regard to the senco, he is going to follow up with her, as far he was aware, the fact a need was indicated in another school meant that at the very least the senco should have approached me to discuss the issues at the current time so that they were more on guard.
Apparently they were aware she absconded previously and were on guard for it, the school just hadn't told me they were on top of it.
He said he was embarrassed that the school hadn't sorted out a peg and can understand that I would be frustrated.
I laid it all on the line and told them I am willing to work with them but I need them to work with me. They need to communicate so I know what is going on and can be prepared to help.
He said I stole his line to parents... 
He is going to talk to the senco, the head of early years and the CTs.
By next week we will have a coat peg, a home/school book, and the senco will be up to date and able to answer any questions I have.
He said he was thoroughly embarrassed and apologised profusely, as this is not the sort of welcome he would expect from the staff at the school. He gave me his direct line in case I needed to speak to him about anything, and I should give him a call after senco meeting just to make sure I'm happy and feel reassured.
I really hope he puts his words into action!
I hadn't thought about getting a statement but I am now....