Please help I dont know what to do.

[StrawberriesTasteLikeLipsDo]

Ds1 is bright funny charming, I love him with all my heart. He has been under salt since 2, now 3.5. His vocab is fab as is his understanding, they say he struggles with attention, doesnt make eye contact.

They have started to say things about ADD/ ASD. Im scared. Mainly as I think its likely to be true, i think he is on the spectrum. He is talkative but fails to pronounce clearly. He is over friendly to the point that I worry, he is often in his own world. He obsesses he likes to know what is coming next. Im so confused. So much of him is behaviour that could be "normal" but it also concerns me.

Ive called SALT back as they havent done the actions they stated they would (visiting him in setting), and the HV. Do I call the Gp?

I just want to help him be happy, I love him so much.

I think I would go to gp if I was you - you can let SALT roll on with whatever they have planned their observations and any support they can offer will be useful. The more you can find out about what support he may need before he starts school the better. The gp should be able to refer you to a developmental paediatrician for an assessment. Even if it isn't ADD or ASD, he should get the support set up for him at school to help him settle in or accomodate the fact that he tends to be less attentive - the school should do this anyway, but if you have advice from paed, that must help.

Thank you, I will do that, I just feel so unsure of how best to help him, to me he seems perfect... But apparently he isnt.

Have called GP, first appointment is 23rd April. Is there anything particular I should ask?

strawberries he is perfect. Even if he is ASD or ADD he is, and still will be, perfect, no dx will change that.

I would advise going to GP and getting Referred to a paed. Diagnosis is a long lengthy process, we went into it with dd open minded in the sence that being assessed didnt mean she had ASD, but if she didnt we could rule it out and focus on what needed to be focused on.

Has your ds had his hearing checked recently? I always ask as can present similar behavioural tendencies to ASD

Any support that he can be provided with will be beneficial to him, a visual timetable to support with him knowing what is coming next, and advise to you from S&LT about how to get him to engage and make eye contact at home turn taking games, things to help his pronunciation, etc would all be beneficial whether your ds is ASD/ADD or not.

Re doctors, be prepared to be fobbed off, our gp initially tried to play down our concerns. Take a list of your concerns about ds, and what nursery/S&LT concerns are, so they don't go out of you head. And be adamant that he needs to be referred to paed.

My dd1 has dyspraxia was diagnosed age 5 is 7.5 now it can be hard makes her more special
She needs more attention, gets very frustrated and has lots of tantrums i wouldnt have her any other way

Thank you all, you are right he is always going to be my special perfect boy. I will do all that is suggested, he had his hearing tested just before two, should that be done again? I feel
In free fall, like I should be able to fix things for him but cant

If he's had it done since the newborn screening then maybe not unless you have concerns.

Free fall is a good description, and perfectly normal to be feeling like everything is spriraling out of control, it does get better. It can be hard to know what to do for the best. The best advice I got, was from this board, and was that you are the best advocate for your DC. Are your HVs able to support you?

strawberries He still is your bright, funny, charming boy. Nothings changed. As it has been suggested have your Ds's hearing and eyes tested. Does he have many colds? the reason I ask is because my Dd is under SALT at the moment due to delayed expressive language. When she was 6 months we took her to the doctors because she was showing signs of an ear infection and we were advised to give her ibrupfen if it happens again, which we did, now she is able to tell us sometimes when her ear is hurting inside so we do the same. she is very similar as your Ds when she has a cold not much eye contact or attention when chatting to her because she can't hear.

Thanks its just bewildering, HV is supposed to be getting back to me tues but they are generally a bit rubbish round here, seem to have little advice and plenty of judgement! His preschool are great though so will ask them / their SENCO.

He has a weak chest but no excessive colds?

HV won't be an expert on ASD or ADD, but if you can get some professionals on your side regarding his development it will help you to get the assessment from the paed. Sometimes mums can be fobbed off as 'neurotic' so a diary of your concerns, something in writing from his setting and your HV on side can only help.

(((Hugs))) It's a difficult time, you keep having concerns, then wondering if you are imagining it. Friends will want to play it down as they think this is what you want to hear. You will get honest advice on here, sometimes blunt, but better that than false reassurance.

If you are concerned, then it is always worth getting an assessment. As others have said, it won't change your lovely boy, but it may get him some help and support.

Thanks ellen, DP an I are going to sit down and work out / write out our concerns. DS1 meanwhile is happily watching andy and kit... Merrily singing along bless him!