New school?

[MyAngelChuckles]

So I have a decision to make and I am having trouble making up my mind, would love to have your thoughts to help me here.

Ds has ASD, speech and language delay and sensory problems, most notably with sound and frequently has meltdowns at school and others get hurt in the process. He has a statement and is in year 2 right now and 'only' about a year behind his peers. Although he is very challenging he is capable of learning in the right environment and the people who work with him seem geniunly fond of him, he is a very likable little chap when he is not overwhelmed.

The school he is in tries very hard and his support worker is lovely but I have noticed other children refusing to respond to him and even groups of them running away and hiding from him crying out 'DS is coming, hide', He is visibly upset by it and I am getting worn down by this and find myself dreading picking him up because I don't know what he will have done today. He also finds lunch times very hard and the school does not have the resources to support him.

I have recently had recommended another school that combines childrens statements to fund smaller classes with a higher TA to children ratio and it sounds very good but I am finding myself very reluctant for some reason to move him if they have the space and I like the school.

I am worried that if I move him he will not be challenged to learn to cope with the sensory overloads he has and that when it comes to later in life he will not have the necessary tools to be independent which is one of the things his current school are trying to encourage for him at the moment, but if I leave him where he is I am worried that he will end up completely on his own.

My thoughts are all over the place so this post is probably not making much sense but any help to put them in order and make a decision here would be brilliant.

Go and see the other school - until you see it you will never know if it could work for your child or not. He's only in year 2, if he is struggling now things could get worse. My son has huge sensory issues and his school placement now completely broken down in year 4 as he tried to cope. He is now going to an independent school and will be in a class of 3 children, I never saw him at a school like this but now I have been and seen him at the school, it will be so much better for him as he will finally be able to cope and actually get an education.

The new school will still challenge him but will do it at his pace. Go and visit

Agree with bjkmummy - definitely visit.

The second school sound ideally set up to support (and challenge) him. If they seem nice and the children look happy then tbh it might be better. My worry with the existing school would be the way the other children are reacting.

Very best of luck to you!

I feel that no where in life do we have to sit in a room of 30 people we have not chosen to be with, listen and learn a subject we don't necessarily like and do this 5 days a week. School is tough. In my option , I want my son to come out of school emotionally intact, good self esteem is essential for a healthy happy life.

Major sensory overload is rarely a learning experience. There will always be some challenges for your DS. DS1 is quite similar to yours in some ways, and in a similar situation, only 2 years on and now we have an option for him from year 5, we want to move him to somewhere where he is less stressed all the time.

TBH, I think the school he'd at now need to address the silly, hysterical, ostracising behaviour of the other children. If they're turning a blind eye at all, then that's not on. They're should be zero tolerance for bullying behaviour like that.

If you are really reluctant to move him, then take the opportunity now to try and get the school to help your ds?

If they are not willing to do that then I would go and look at the other school, on paper it sounds good, but you have to visit to know if it will work for your ds?

MyAngel - you almost described my DS up there! Without the bit of children hiding from him which if I knew about and noone did anything I will shout really laud at someone in school...

I got trapped by the 'I love my DS school, love the teacher, the TAs, the other teacher where he integrates, love the fact they try really hard etc etc' but only recently had I realised all these things allow my son to cope most days and not to reach his potential.

I would visit the other school and if possible arrange for your DS to visit with you another day if you liked the school. You have a general idea how he copes, behaves at current school and should be able to make a judgement on how he is at the other one.

MY heads a little more ordered now. I will meet with current school and discuss my concerns, but I'm also going to arrange a visit with the other school and put out feelers, that way I can keep my options open while seeing if things improve.

I just want to find the right place for him where he can learn academically AND socially so that he has options as he grows, it's a fine balance and I'm scared of making the wrong choice if that makes sense.

Thanks for the advice, I spend most of my time lurking, only posting the odd comment but it's lovely knowing there's help and advice here if I need it.

I am a bit of a lurker too MyAngel, though I am trying to post and not delete my responses a bit more - I feel like I don't have anything to add most of the time, or that someone will have better/more useful advice too. Although my ds is nearly 9 we have only just recently got a dx, but we had great support up until our recent move, so that has put me off posting - I have v little experience of fighting the system - though I am getting lots of experience with the new school and LA.

Sounds alot like me Taps :)

DS literally just got his diagnosis a week ago but has been known to pead, SALT and various others since he was 2, apparently his speech and language skills were so delayed it 'masked' his other difficulties, but he can talk your ear off now so they couldn't delay anymore . The fact he also get a statement without a diagnosis also showed just how pronounced and well documented his difficulties are, or so I'm told.

Hope things get easier for you with your new LA and school must be hard going from supportive group to fighting them, I've had to fight a little but not very much so I understand about maybe not have useful advice to add alot, but the comfort is there all the same

Yeah, our ds was the same, from 2.5 speech delay/disorder under paed, salt, psych etc, had 1 to 1 at nursery through until we moved school, fantastic early years support teacher up until he was 7, he was doing so well. Knowing what he had before makes the lack of support now very worrying but I am in the midst of getting his Coordinated support plan sorted (CSP, bit like a statement maybe? It is legally binding though). I am at least not scared of the system, or sitting waiting for the school to get it sorted - have been in touch with CAHMS and autism outreach service, so next step is an appointment with CAHMS and contact with independent advocacy people- so either way I am hopeful ds will get better support....

Good luck with your ds, it is so hard knowing what is best for them sometimes.