Can we talk about MNSN, and the community/support/chat etc?

[silverfrog]

This thread may not be a good idea. I am severely sleep deprived (ds has decided yet again that sleep is for the weak, and I have had about 4 hours sleep since Sunday), and had the morning from hell getting dd2 off on a school trip - change of routine, needed ot wear tracksuit not uniform, different drop off/pick up - you all know the score. If you all think it is a bad idea, please feel free to report and have it deleted.

Anyway.

Can we have a thread where we try to sort out some of the perceived isues with MNSN?

I keep seeing, on the main boards, posts saying that MNSN is not suportive. That some faces don't fit. That it's not all it's cracked up to be.

Fine. I get that not everybody is the same, and may not want the same things form this board as me, or other posters. But it isn't really said here, and so we don't reallt get right of reply.

It's a bit like talking about us behind our backs.

I know there have ben disagreements and differences over the years. I have been part of some of them, but on the whole I thought we muddled through quite well - expcially given that we are all under a reasonable amount of stress most of the time, and that we all face fairly different challenges on a daily basis.

So - what do people want form MNSN? Is there anything we (as a community) can do to welcome people who feel left out? Anythign we can do to help posters who lurk rather than post?

I am rather hoping htis might be a moving forward discussion, rather than a re-hash of any he said/she said grievances. BUt as I said earlier, maybe this is entirely misguided. Sorry if it is.

I've never fitted in here. Your face really does have to fit. There is an undercurrent of judgmental - this is what I do, why don't you.

Lougle, my nearly 9 stone boxer x gsd did that to me. I blacked out and he then decided I was fair game, given that I was now lying on the floor, which is obviously a sign I wanted to play - so decided sit on my chest, smack me in the face a few times with his enormous hoof paw and slobber all over me.

Pets 'ay, who'd av'em?

It's a shame you feel so upset about everything on this board Dev.

I've not followed your history on this but is seems that people sometimes don't share your perception of what is happening with your posts.

I am not sure people can change what they do as they don't agree with your perception.

Perhaps you just need to go 'cold turkey' and take a complete break.

American, but for moosemama's DS

PeneloPeePitstop, I'm sorry you feel that way. I've seen fantastic support given to people of all sorts here.

I'm sorry you feel like that PeneloPee.

I have regularly asked for and listened to advice on here, but ultimately walked my own path. Lots of people on here felt I should have taken our LA to tribunal over the specification etc of ds's statement. I didn't feel I could at the time for various reasons - not all of which were things people on here would have known about. Then when it all came back to bite me on the arse, no-one said I told you so or was in judgemental in any way, they just held my hand and helped me navigate a new way round the problem.

There are and have been in the past a few posters who are/were passionate about what they have found that works for them and are/were probably more vociferous than others for that reason, but generally people do genuinely just want to help. I can honestly say that in all the years I've been on here I have never felt judged, even though I don't always listen to advice and sometimes monumentally cock things up as a result.

I have white wallpaper. Call me stupid. Luckily, it washes, because the said dog keeps wagging his tail so hard, he makes the tip bleed. Then he sprays blood all up my walls, radiators, doors....forensics would have a field day.

I am a regular namechanger paranoid
I first started on mn years after ds recieved his diagnosis and tbh am regually shocked at the battles some of you face.
It is one of the reasons I don't feel able to post advice, we have just stumbled through and through a combination of some excellent professionals and the severity of ds's disability have meant services have always been available a mental breakdown on my part helped
I also feel somewhat guilty, we get a good support package and I know many other parents on here have to fight for everything.

Right then, have skimmed this 'a complaint is a gift' so am now world expert in fixing SN board related difficulties .

What 3 simple things could make a big difference to those who feel unwelcome?

Thanks for those word-play jokes lougle, ds will enjoy them.

My dad's Great Dane used to do the tail-splitting, blood spraying thing - he ended up having to have half his tail removed in the end as it refused to heal and he couldn't stop wagging it 24/7. I can confirm that not only do Great Dane's tails bleed a lot - they blooming well hurt when they hit you.

We all try to help each other here. Some need more help than others and I have seen some threads run in to 100s with posters trying to figure out complex problems to help someone

Maybe I am going to be provocative and/or outline here but, to me, that sort of effort really does not deserve this needling.

It's an internet forum. Some people have got shit lives. People try and help and it seems like regular posters are just getting a kicking for it.

It's really too much to demand people respond to you in a certain way or passively aggressively hold it against them for not saying what you want to hear. Or resent people for posting regularly.

It is an internet forum. People are trying to help. End of. What do those of you who are moaning about cliques etc want? What do you want to change? Stop moaning and get on with it.

My children hide in the porch to stop him hitting them with his tail

I try to explain that if they would only stroke him and tell him he's the best thing since sliced bread, he'd actually calm down.

48 hours it can be really helpful to hear what provision other people have, even if it makes people a bit .

I'm always harping on about DD1's school, because it's a great example of a school which uses TEACCH and is passionate about every child being the best they can be.

or what MareeyaDolores says

zzzzz, it's always the plan, just that some areas didn't get the memo in time

I think I must be very very tired, as I'm not understanding where some of these posts are coming from or what they're getting at. I genuinely do want to understand and try to work out a way for everyone to feel validated and included, but I'm just not up to the job tonight. Sorry.

Actually, I'd better go to bed now, because I have to be up early tomorrow to go a funeral over a hundred miles away and will then have a stressy ds1 to deal with when I get home, because his routine will have been thrown out by me not being home all day.

I'm just praying we can make it back in time to get to the chip shop for their tea, because if we miss gluten free chip night he will seriously never forgive us.

I'm also going to have to admit defeat. Unfortunately, my children won't wake any later because I'm posting on this thread.

moose, I hope the funeral goes as well as it can do.