Parents evening tonight can anyone help me with what to ask please? Regarding moving from mainstream to SMS

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Would be really grateful for some help with this, I am good at medical meetings but rubbish with educational ones and always feel defensive, no idea why!

Dd is still in mainstream but after a really bad start in September she is having a gradual transition to special school, for now with her mainstream Ta accompanying her to special school. So far this is only one afternoon a week but the idea was she would be there full time from September with a gradual move in the mean time.

The problem is that she is much more settled now and doing really well comparatively speaking. I still feel she learns in a different way to the other children and that mainstream isn't going to work in the long term but I think her teacher and Ta are now seeing it as a shame to move her to special school when she is doing so well.

Socially she has a lovely friend now which has made all the difference but I know this friend looks after her so its not a friend on an equal level iykwim.

Any ideas for working out how she is doing other than she is calmer and moving up in some areas?

Ss not SMS!

I personally think long settling in periods can actually be more unsettling for children. Obviously each child is different but I ending up cutting short the transition for my ds last summer. He was due to have twice weekly settling in sessions for six weeks before the summer hols.

He sort of understood he was moving schools so it was just confusing for him to to-ing and fro-ing. And then there was going to be the long summer holidays in between anyway.

So we just did three visits to the new school which he loved, and I went into his old school for the last day to help him say goodbye.

come the September he did ask for his old school a few times but was settled in by half term.

If you are having a wobble about which school can you ask to go through her levels and how she is doing compared to what is expected for her age?

Can you ask to speak to the Educational Psychologist who assessed her for the move and ask her opinion? vv expensive but potentially good value for peace of mind?

Could you contract an independent educational psychologist to come in and give you a second opinion?

How much of your wobble is connecting to regret at losing the new friend? If you know her parents could you arrange for regular -once a fortnight- play dates?

forgot to say. If you do decide to move to the SS I'd move her after Easter if at all possible. Why waste time somewhere where she is not progressing as much as she could

Thanks, yes I think the gradual move is a bit confusing and tbh the summer and then change just to year one from reception was such a massive issue for her I think whatever happens September is traumatic.

Should have said, the sen panel said she needs special school when they looked at her levels because mainstream school asked for more hours one to one. The special schools are all full till sept except one and that would mean a half hour journey AND apparently a move when space at the local one is available. I also like our local one although I wish there was more of a mix of children as dd should probably be at a school for moderate sn whereas this one is severe but with one new class with more moderate educational needs that dd will be with.

I will ask about levels. I think levels wise she is probably in the middle of the two tbh. And have got a meeting planned next week with special school too so will be interested in what they say but current school I think are having less lashing out issues with dd which means she is doing better but I am concerned about where she would make most progress. Also whether they are doing her ot and speech therapy etc. so hard as she is settled there and it's a lovely school but I suspect I would regret it come September if I kept her there.

OK so the current m/s school are happier now she is not lashing out = she is easier to manage.

This is all well and good but as you say the real issue is where will she make the most progress.

Ds' mainstream school were simply not equipped to deliver the SALT programme as set out in his statement. They sort of went through the motions but the lovely TA was left to work it out by herself. The twice termly assessment and monitoring by a SALT turned into once termly (if that) visits by a SALT assistant.

I wont lie. Ds is only making slow progress in his new school -perhaps because he is has on-going health problems atm. But it is lovely being somewhere where they know what they are doing.

Dd has complex health needs too that make it hard to work out what causes what with behaviour. I think that the therapies offered in ss COULD make up for the stress of a move, moving from local school etc and I've always felt dd needed a small class. She's in a class of 23 currently which is great but ss obviously even smaller (6 I think in the one she visits)and all geared up to sn it's just a shame she hasn't managed more sessions there so far.

Current teacher worries ss won't push her enough but I am sure they will know what they are doing,it worries me more that she will end up having to move back to mainstream and have lost friendship etc or move yet again so am hoping to speak to sen officer again soon too.

Argh and don't get me started on salt provision, ours is recruiting a salt assistant still so six weekly salt visits is the most intensive programme!

I think you need to speak to the head of the new school about your concerns around whether they will be able to stretch her.

For me it is v nice knowing that ds is taught in class by a qualified SN teacher rather than spending a lot of time out in corridor being taught by the TA or sitting in the corner of the classroom sucking his thumb while the lesson went completely over his head.

Ultimately you have to go with your gut. But if your dd is more able academically then I can see it would make the decision harder.

I thought she was but then she isn't performing as being that able . And her understanding of language is severely affected by her sli and autism as is her communication in general so I think ss will be best, that's my gut feeling anyway. Tbh if I was deciding from scratch I'd go for ss. That's hindsight though I guess.

I agree with you, having a sn teacher is just going to be so reassuring. Dh is late home so won't be at this meeting at this rate!

Oh god, this evening went wellin that dd is doing really well at school, her numeracy is even age appropriate, and the teacher is adamant her friendships are real friendships although they do look out for her. She is saying they all think dd will be far ahead of the others at the ss academically and that she is happy and settled.

Which is great but I know there is so much about ss that would benefit her and now I feel confused over the decision to move her. I know it isn't final but I can see this getting complicated. Dd has very unclear speech and serious communication issues so its hard to see how she could be doing as well as she could be in mainstream but maybe I am wrong.

This is all brilliantly positive news but does make decision making tricky.

I'm sure the teacher is well meaning but has she actually gone to the SS with your dc or was it just the TA. I know a couple of lovely teachers who are evangelical about the principle of inclusion but this may stem from not appreciating that most SS have moved on and are not all borstals or creches.

Has an ed psych been into the school and seen your dd in the class room? If not then now is the time to ask the school to get one in. If they've alreay been in perhaps they could come again in May or June for a final decision.

If I were you I'd keep her options open. You have five months at least until you have to decide. Ask the MS school to keep her place open as long as possible.

The TAs have both been in but not the teacher.to be fair,she was all for the A's till dd starting to do so well. Dd used to under perform at school compared to home and now it seems to be the other way around. I would just love to see dd there without her knowing I'm there to see how it is for her.

Sorry ed psych was in a year ago. I will ask about it again although they may want to go with using our hospital psych instead which, in a way would be easier. I wish someone independent would go in to both and tell me what to do!

You have too look at this long term, and disadvantages and benifits, if moved
you may rule out inclusion main social benifit., invites too parties , peers support.
If at SS will be with other children who have more severe problems, our ds is in ss will always need support has CP and many associated problems also communication disfunctions, we invite friends too functions and party's too no avail, different out in the community though where it's inclusion has a wide social life points too ponder.