...to be living in constant fear for our lives all the time? (bit long)

[marjproops]

Nearly namechanged but Ive spoken a bit before about this. DC and I are both victims of severe abuse, Ive been assaulted/raped/you name it its happened. We are on our all the time, I get NO help whatsover from ANYONE for anything. couple of GPs have written to SS and council but thats it, social services do FA, as has a social worker, counselling doesnt help etc etc. as for the police....well.

Remember Fiona Pilkington? she was a mother and carer, and targetted ,and no one would listen to her or take her seriously so she ended up taking her daughters and her lives. and what did the police say on the news? the usual ''oh we were looking into it, there will be a full investigation'' etc etc. nothing. nothing was done to help them. I even sent that story to SS only to be told theyd take my child away from me.thats how targetted WE are. ALL the time.

I'm the most down to earth common sense person EVER so for me to be at my wits end takes a lot.

New neighbours moved in next door last night...at 11.45PM. doesnt that sound dodgy? well they look dodgy. and as usual Im the only person in street that hears these things. If i phoned 101 like I did before about something similar, they just told me to 'log it'.

yet if anyone DID go round i just kNOW theyd find out it was me. It happened once before, diff place,and we were almost killed. People KNOW DC and I are on our own, Im not a big muscly person, I try my best to appear confident etc but they can see the fear in my eyes. DC is 12 now and we've had to move so many times (can never be anywhere nice as Im on HB so we get the rough places, even though council has had like a million letters from me and GPs etc), I had a mild heart attack 2 years ago because of thugs targetting us.

I'm completely alone, no partner, no boyf,and they KNOW it. any friends i have all have families and are busy.

The worst time is night. Its so dark and creepy and we're alone and vulnerable.

I was cr**ng myself all night and couldnt sleep watching these people, and yes, there was the smell of pot too wafting over.

Im not living. This is not a life.

I dont know why Im posting this, not for sympathy, just ...I dont know...understanding? empathy? and I bet any welcome advice I get Ive already done. I cant take any more. sorry, its long and pathetic. and self-pitying.

I'm so sorry you feel like this, it sounds like you are constantly in a state of anxiety. Who are you being targeted by if you don't mind me asking?

Ok OP I'm listening.

What makes you think your new neighbours are a danger to you?

And what Bride asked too - who is targetting you?

BTW before having DC I didnt care if I died, when I was attacked, but being a mum...DC has NO ONE to care for her if anything happened to me, and she has so many mental and physical disabilities Im the only person in the world she has and knows (mostly) how to deal with her.

My poor baby gets enough of a rough time without me feeling guilty all the time Im not able to give her a proper life.

I'm sorry, this sounds terrible, but I'm a little confused. Why would you ring the police because you have new neighbours?

OK, deep breath and slow down.

What is worrying you specifically about the new neighbours? You sound extremely anxious (understandable) do you have mental health issues? Have the neighbours approached you or done anything to make you feel uncomfortable other than just looking dodgy?

Couldn't read and run but don't know how much help I will be.

Firstly - are you getting any help for your anxiety and previous experiences? Counselling, anti anxiety meds? If your current GP is not very proactive then move to a different surgery.

Has your child had access to any support such as counselling/play therapy/art therapy? Ask GP but also ask at school. They may be able to get in touch with school nurse or ed psych who will know more about support available.

I have actually lived in a similar situation on my own with a child and scary neighbours. I bided my time and moved. Didn't even move very far but it was so so worth it. Some estate agents and landlords offer zero or low deposits, and low admin fees so always worth looking into and asking around. At one point I emailed every single private landlord registered with the local authority (they can give you a list), and estate agency. In my email I pointed out I was reliable, and looking for a long term let. Something came up but it did take a little while. I know it's hard but things will get better for you. x

I moved into my new house at about 11pm because I was coming from 500 miles away, it doesn't really mean anything, and how do they 'look dodgy'?

Who is it thats targetting you? Are you keeping a diary of events? Could you look into moving house?

Yes I did get confused about the neighbours. New neighbours, even moving in late, not necessarily a threat. Smell of pot also not anything to majorly worry about but I understand if you were already anxious you will have been worrying.

I'm so sorry but you sound quite paranoid, is there anyone who can support you to get help.

This is meant kindly and not in judgement but I think you need some counselling or therapy. I live alone and never live in fear. I've lived in some rough areas and I might jump at the odd noise but I'm never really scared. You need to work this out for your own sake and for your childs. You don't want your child to learn to live in fear.
Best wishes.

Sounds like you've been through a hell of a lot. Is there no one at all that you can talk to right now?

I agree. There is more than a hint of paranoia about your OP. I am concerned for you.

Thank you those that have replied. Wherever we live I have to warn immediate neighbours that DC has severe autism amongst other things and that she can have extreme screaming fits (usually set off by loud noise, if they are diying/loud music/dogs etc). I tell them in a friendly way but try and look confident too. but then they must feel they cant make noise in their own house? Ive said before if eg-theyre going to diy could they just let me know and Ill take DC out away from it etc,so i think Im being considerate.

But we always, through no fault of our own, seem to be given places to live (with no other choice) of rough places with rough people. the kind a lot of MNs complain about. ive tried homeswapper too but no dice, and I have to try and find places that meet DCs needs.

and they see theres no guy coming in and out of our house.

pictish. new neighbours might be perfectly nice-said hi to them as we came in today , they were outside smoking 'stuff' again.and they just sneered and went inside. thats all. I just said 'HI.' Ive said before I get targetted a lot cos Im very ugly, and DC cos she's disabled. seriously.

Ive even got to the point where i pretend theres a guy in the house and we wave up at the window when we go out/come in, and ive lied (and Im not a liar) and said I have a boyf but he works shifts and hes sleeping now etc etc. How lame is that? But they eventually see no one coming in or out.

Ok, let me take a guess. This isn't really about the new neighbours, is it? They haven't done anything. Other than that you are disappointed it's not a nice normal family with a lady who could be a friend to you, someone to chat and have a cup of tea with, and a good old moan to from time to time. You feel trapped in a crappy area with a transient bunch of losers around you and you think if only you could live somewhere more pleasant you might be able to start working on your self esteem?

If I am right then YANBU on any level, and I am very sorry for you that you feel so lonely and isolated.

I'm another that moved late at night, the move took all day and we were exhausted but we had to be out of the old house. Had no choice. This isn't an uncommon thing, don't think too much about that.

Who is targetting you? Do you have any family close by that you can confide in, or give you a break so you can spend a day or two relaxing and winding down? You sound like you could use it, even if it helps you clear your head so you can make a plan.

Crossed posts Marj I think I was right!

It sounds like you are living in a constant state of high alert and are worrying about things that have not yet happened. The things which have happened in your past appear to have affected you to the point that you now constantly think of the worst case scenario. It sounds to me like you need support in coping with anxiety. SW will only help if they think your child is at risk. I would advise you to return to your GP. Are you currently taking any medication to help with the anxiety? Your fears as they stand are not rational and you need help.

Please don't wave to people who are not there and invent boyfriends. Then the neighbours really will think you are weird and possibly laugh at you or avoid you.

Tell us what you have done to seek support.

GP, for starters.

School

Social Services.

Charities for single mums with disabled children? Autism support? Do you have other family?

See? this is what I get, it does sound like Im paranoid and neurotic and have MH issues. I dont have any of that, I'm not making mountains of molehills, it really happens.

We are looking to move out anyway as we're underoccupying and have to downsize, but its not a good look for anyone coming round to view house and theres this going on outside?

Ive had counselling and all the rest, as has DC but we really truly are in fear, as Ive said before we've both been attacked and yes now Im scared of everyone with a slightly menacing look about them. I'm quite discerning and can usually tell if someones decent or not.

Thank you for your concerns but Im seriously not suffering from MH issues.