language delay

[wineandnibbles]

Hi, i'm hoping for some advice for a friend who is becoming increasingly down about the lack of speach development in her 2.3 year old son. He is a loving, sweet boy, who gives hugs readily, will point , lead you to things, take your hand etc, but has no words at all. He doesn't babble but shouts and screams. Nursery have told her not to worry. Any advice gladly taken, oh yes and she has a 5 year old daughter who spoke early.

Hi - we thought - and were led to believe that our DS had speech and language delay. No speech at 2 when I started to flag it - but lots of screaming and shouting and tantrums etc. It seemed that no one wanted to suggest that he could have autism as no one is qualified to make that diagnosis apart from the paediatrician.
OUr nursery also told us not to worry but at the same time chased the LA for speech and language therapy, referral to the paediatrician and to PRESEN's.
The problem with holding off getting help is that it takes such a long time for anything to happen that you have to start even when your not sure and still hoping that everything will click into place.
He now has a place at a SN nursery which is doing great stuff and that only came around by pushing and getting him into the system. He still doesnt talk but does take our hand etc
Your friend has to trust her instinct and forge on ahead.

has he been seen by a Salt? if not tell your friend to get a referral. i would also ask for a referral for a hearing test to rule out any hearing issues (GP or HV should noth be able to refer).

Many areas have speech therapy drop ins eg at childrens centres - look up the speech therapy bit of the website of your local hospital or the activities on offer at surestart centres etc. She can also self refer to SALT or go to GP / HV. SALT will always get a hearing test arranged first.

Look at AFASIC website for what it could be. It may be a oral motor problem or a language / hearing problem. Can he use a straw? Blow bubbles? That can help tell if able to control the muscles to make sounds (eg verbal dyspraxia).

An American website called teachmetotalk.com is quite good for ideas. Also ICAN.

To check for autism look at MCHAT. Useful for persuading GP / HV to refer if any red flags come up.

Nurseries often don't know what to look for. My son lost all his functional speech at 2.3 and just echoed and they told me he was just being stubborn! He was then dx'd with severe autism.

my ds2 is 6 and non verbal :(

My dd 13 ASD spoke before she was 1!

My ds 11 NT was just over 2 before he spoke (made lots of noises) and went from not speaking to full sentances in what seemed like overnight!

My ds 5 was late to talk but I thought he would just catch up like his brother. Looking back he was very quiet and developed his own sign language. He has a phonological speech disorder.

I wish I'd gone for salt sooner than I did. The thing is I knew he understood me which for me was the most important part. Like previous posters is advise to refer as we had to wait 6 months for an appointment.

Thank you all so much for advice, i will pass on the websites to look at. I should have explained , he has had constant colds, been on anti biotics a lot which could explain the late development of speech but he has passed all hearing tests.
I will encourage my friend to go to her GP to see if she can push things along. I'm asking not to interfere but because she has told me it is affecting her relationship with her son and her self esteem, she's uncomfortable seeing his peers chatting away and i think she is starting to stop talking to him. So any advice on how to keep things positive for them both would also be welcome.

'It takes two to talk' by Hanen from Winslow press is a really good book she could be using while waiting for all the appointments and assessments to come through.

Agnes - thank you so much for recommending teachmetotalk - it looks really interesting and I've ordered some dvds. I've been using the It Takes Two to Talk and think its great, but really like the idea of seeing Laura working on the dvd. My dd is 2.6 and after a couple of months of intensive effort from us babbles when she feels like it and has about 25 word sounds which we can recognise.

Wineandnibbles - your friend is lucky to have such a good friend. It's horrid watching other children making progress and worrying about your own.... Everyone says not to worry (which is annoying) and then after a while they stop saying that (and that is even more worrying!)

ilovesprouts - honk, honk. Do you use sign language?

"So any advice on how to keep things positive for them both would also be welcome."

Choose resources carefully. Some writers have a point to prove. Others have forgotten what it's like to be in your friend's position.

"It Takes Two to Talk" as recommended by EllenJane is deceptively clear but thought through with extreme care. One aspect of this is that it is entirely positive and gives you a sense of how working with your child can actually be fun (but without saying so IYSWIM).

It's £36 from Winslow publications. With hindsight, it would have been worth £3600.00 to me and my family, and a lot of that is to do with the fact that it didn't give me false hope but also didn't depress me. I could give it to my husband and leave it lying around without getting an awful feeling in the pit of my stomach and without it triggering any family tension.

If it doesn't work (and it won't be a complete solution for most people), you're left with a sense of interest in how to go further/deeper, rather than being in despair!

Thanks again, have made a note of teachmetotalk and It Takes Two to Talk. Something they could do together but that was fun is exactly the advice i was after.

I found the book "Baby Talk" by Sally Ward very useful. It gives ideas about activities you can do with with your child and tips on how to communicate eg commenting on their actions rather than asking them lots of questions etc... The way I've explained it probably sounds patronising but it's not like that at all! I've seen it in our local library so your friend may be able to get it through her library.

:)

there are many technically brilliant resources out there that are no practical use to most parents because we are so freaked out by their terrifying predictions (which of course the author doesn't realise are terrifying) that we either put them down with a shudder or we devote all our brain power into persuading ourselves that "bobby doesn't do that because that's on the list of things autistic people do so I won't work on that bit I'll work on the more advanced section because it says children of his age should be at that stage".

re teachmetotalk - her DVDs are a bit "safer" than her website. Her website tends to have a lot of "age and stage" stuff and stories about how parents musn't ignore warning signs and should be acting at 18 months. It's not Laura's fault, it's because she's working within an American system

I had 'Baby Talk' for my DS1 who was also speech delayed. TBH, I found it a really patronising and no help at all if your DC's speech delay was caused by anything resembling SN. It also kept telling you what a 'typical' 15 month old or whatever, should be doing and saying. My DC was way off and I found it very depressing. Even when he had made lots of progress, he was still months and months behind. I would much prefer to recommend a Hanen book, any Hanen book. Much less patronising and you could measure what stage your child was at without comparing to some 'norm.'

Sorry to be so negative, but Baby Talk is better than nothing, but that's about all, IMO.