Newly diagnosed Aspergers

[Mariesthename]

My six-year-old son has just been diagnosed with Asperger's. This did not come as a shock as I have suspected it for some time. In fact the Ed Psych even said it was so obvious, she couldn't believe it hadn't been picked up earlier. He has been in lots of trouble at school and I have been tearing my hair out trying to explain that he doesn't mean to be rude, finds it difficult to stop speaking mid-flow etc. but nobody would listen. Now he has a positive diagnosis the school seems happier to accept his behaviour and I have meeting lined up for tomorrow to discuss strategies for managing his behaviour.

What I want to know is how did you manage when it was first diagnosed? Did you tell everybody? Whilst I am not embarrased or ashamed, I feel I shouldn't have to explain to people and they should accept him for who he is anyway. I am trying to explain it to his eight-year-old brother but I feel it is a lot for him to take in too.

Can you offer any advice please?

Main advice is for you to ask school to now contact the ASD outreach team (or whatever it's called in your area) so that they can get advice on how to handle him at school.

I certainly told everyone who worked with him, teachers, TAs, beaver leaders, swimming teachers etc.

I also printed off stuff for his teacher and TA that told them what I wanted them to know - because chances are they don't know anything about aspergers and won't look it up just be ause of the dx.

I told all of my friends as we were chatting about our kids, but that's because it was what was going on in my life.

Actually I tell lots of people all the time. Why not?

By the time DS2's diagnosis occurred, it was no great surprise to the school.
We gave the grandparents some leaflets, after which DF realised that he has it too (we have all known this for at least two decades).
His older brother read a couple of books which helped him understand.
We didn't mention it to his younger siblings, but they made the connection themselves after watching a Newsround special.
We left it up to DS2 to decide which friends he tells and he tells everyone. When he meets someone new, the Asperger's is one of the first things he brings up.

Mariesthename

I would also be looking now into applying for a statement from the LEA for your son as one day he will be at secondary school. That can be very hard hard going if the child's additional needs at school are not being met.

I would use such a "label" as well purely as a signpost to getting him more help (hence the suggestion to now apply for a statement).

Is he already on anything like School Action Plus?.

Autism outreach are worth contacting but they may not actually have much influence within the school setting. A statement would be legally binding.

Thanks for your responses. I can't do anything about a statement yet as we're actually living overseas. However, today's meeting with the school seemed to go quite well and all of a sudden they seem very supportive. I can't decide whether to tell my son he has Aspergers, mainly because I'm not sure he will understand. I thought maybe we could have a chat and just explain that he is a bit "different" and that's why he sometimes has problems with people.

Also, thanks for the book recommendations. Can anyone recommend any other books or websites? It seems Tony Attwood is the expert on Aspergers?

We never had this decision to make, as we were first told the diagnosis when he was in the room. On the way home, he asked why they were talking about asparagus. We tried to gently explain about the social difficulties (which he was in complete denial about having!) but it was only when we also talked about the things he is specially good at (memory for details etc) that he accepted the diagnosis.