My ds is almost 12, and he has ADHD. He has always lied if he is, or thinks he will be in trouble. We have tried to encourage him to be truthful and honest, and that the lying is (usually) worse than the original misdemeanour etc etc.
Anyway, he gets pocket money monthly, and the last 3 months he has opted to have only one third of it, and save the remainder.
Recently he has been flush, and last night I didn't have any cash so he offered to pay if I pay him back, then today he said he had to pay for a school trip and I hadn't given him the money so he paid and I would also have to pay him back for that. It just doesn't add up, as the 2 amounts each are more than his money for the month, and he owned up to having kept the money for his guitar lesson ( I have to give him 20 cash each week) when Somehow I had given him 2 x 20.
OK, on the one hand, I am v. pleased he fessed up. Believe me, for him it is an enormous leap forward. OTOH, obviously I am disappointed he kept hold of the 20. (plus, not to muddy the waters, but I'm not 100% certain he is being truthful about the 20, as I remember one time I had to give him more, and so wonder if it was that time, and it's even more than 20, but I'll never be able to prove it, so he could well have not given me even more iyswim)
so, how do I deal with the lack of honestly about the money, and pocketing a large sum, essentially stealing from me, while at the same time reinforcing the honesty and not putting him off being honest again? I know I need to be more careful, but I am scatty and have trouble following things up, so I guess I am easy to trick.
I have wondered in the past if he and his brother have been stealing from me, how do I catch them? I hate this feeling that they are stealing off me.