We decided earlier this year that we would move dd1 to a private school that was very small and not selective.
We have just been to a parent/teacher and its wonderful news. Her teacher just "gets" her, he pre-empts her wobbles, likes her sense of humour and sees how wonderful and talented she is.
She has more than one friend for the first time ever, she's excited about school work again and her anxiety wobbles are so much better.
We struggled for so long as to weather this was the right decision and finally the self harm has stopped and we have our wonderful little girl back