statements for genuinely naughty kids but not for SN!

[moleskin]

Hi just wanted peoples views on this and didn't want to post on AIBU. I have a friend who's boy has developmental delay, speech delay, only just walking etc. His first application for a statement for reception next yead was turned down shockingly!!

Someone I know has a 12 yr old boy who has always been typically naughty. Expelled permenantly from high school after few weeks and social services involved with family. He was assessed by ed pysch as good intelligence and no SN at all. Anyway to get him out of PRU and back to school SS have put in for a statement for him so he can attend a private school and board there!! God knows how much that will cost.

I know what a struggle some of you guys have getting statements and am shocked that this family are getting one for their son who tbh could do with a bit of a discipline! Whilst I realise that SN can be hidden disabilities this boy genuinely doesn't have any SN, he just seems to want to be cool by acting up! In front of friends.

How typical is this of kids with no SN getting a statement? I know my dd2 would do much better in a private school and smaller classes for reception next year but also know we have no hope of getting that!

mumof2 better forewarned than left to find out the hard way?

It should stay. Lets face it if it was "outside" of SN Board it would be classed as "educational" :)

I do not see or read a lot of shouting, just a lot of hurt as it has struck nerves but amongst it valid reasons and information that people and learn from and maybe learn not to jump to conclusions about what goes on behind closed doors.

Its not a bad thing and may open peoples eyes on having a different perspective and not being so judgemental in RL.

It doesn't matter why a child needs help. If they need help, they need help. The idea of ranking children as deserving SEN children and undeserving SEN children is pretty abhorrent.

True, no SN top trumps on this board. I've kept away from this thread as it was bound to go badly. I hope the OP has learnt something and will come back to the board when she needs advice.

('SN board not what it used to be' is bollocks BTW)

Helen, I do wonder if the OP would ask for the thread to be deleted had she received one or two supportive posts?
Sometimes you have to relise the consequences of your actions and the fact that so many are showing how unhelpful such a post can be is education in itself.

I think this opens a fairly good debate tbh - I think people get so caught up in the term "special needs", which implies that you need a fully paid up label of disability or disability pending. IMO it really should be additional needs - stick with me..... If a child needs support for whatever reason, over and above what is typical for the majority of children, then they have an additional need.
Surely it is better to intervene with all and every means at your disposal to meet that additional need. Afterall, no parent or child chooses to be this way. My heart goes out to the boy and his family and all they must have gone through to get to this stage - and kudos to any parent that makes that brave decision to let their child go to a PRU, because it's the best for the child. I'm not sure I would have the strength for it.

All parents are judged and none more so than parents of children with additional needs. OP you say that your ds is facing his own challenges, I wonder what you would feel if other parents around you suggested your ds needed some firm discipline? All you'll want to do is scream "I am killing myself to help him MORON" I have had some other parents suggest a good clip round the ear for my ds8 - asd dx at 6yrs.

I respond with the following " would you beat or discipline someone because they couldn't walk and use a wheelchair? No? Then why would you punish a child who's brain is working differently?"
I think maybe if you'd posted do you need a dx to get a statement then you'd have been fine - but I think the term "naughty" will always exact a negative reaction on the SN boards in addition to the parents are not disciplining. In my experience SN parents are usually stricter because we need to set clear boundaries so that's why you'll get a negative to that one.
I hope this little fella gets what he needs and the situation improves for him and his family, as I hope your ds and your friends dc do. The road to help is frustrating, exhausting and depressing but don't begrudge anyone else their triumph - keep fighting and your ds will get the support he needs.
I also think you should stick with this board - because if your ds ever faces this will be here to chuck ninja squirrels at the offenders head - and give you a reassuring honk.

Could it be re-titled rather than deleted?

It reads better as "Statement for disturbed child who bothers teachers, but denied for obvious severe SN"