I need a wine!!!

[yawningmonster]

Just need to vent really. DS is plugged into the Wii so I can recover. We had a bday party to go to today. It was very dear friends of ours and ds was only invited because of this (he is 8, party was for 4 year old). I explained to ds that it was a party for little children and that he could play with the older ds and he could join in the games but they would be for the little children etc, etc.

Ds was being way too rough on bouncy castle and got told to tone it down or he would need to hop off so he started putting a heap of toys on the castle which again he needed to be told that they were not safe bouncing around and hitting the children. Eventually he went off in a strop because he was warned he would have to get down. Bday father found him huddled in a corner and didn't know about strop and put him back on castle with much fuss. Was removed again by me for continuing said behavior. Ds then got hurt by a ball being thrown and went into loud wailing hysterics wanting to go home and carrying on. Managed to calm him down from that and they had a game of treasure hunt. He went off as he was not the first to find something then refused the treasure that someone else offered him, then complained loudly and bitterly that he had missed out (repeat for both pass the parcel and for pinatta) Then he started to get hay fever and go into absolute and utter bedlam about it and have a huge meltdown that he was dying until his meds kicked in about 20 minutes later.
The entire party went like this to be honest. I know some of you will say we should have left but we always have to leave things and this particular event was for my dd and us as well, it was with pretty much the only people who don't mind ds having his meltdowns as they know us so well and leaving wouldn't actually have helped it would have just relocated the meltdowns to home instead. In between ds doing all this my dd decided she was going to be super clingy with mummy and also covet all of bday childs toys and strop that he may actually want to play with them. There were 9 children there, not one single one of them had any issues what so ever throughout the entire party except mine....

Sorry minor but I just get so worn down by it sometimes

DS4 has only ever been to one party and true to form he sat in a corner playing with trains. The mum had pleaded with me to bring him, and I did say that he wouldn't participate. I felt so sad for him that he didn't understand the other children's fun. He has never been to another or asked since.

I think that though you want them to enjoy a party, you just have to accept that the concept of a party is too much for them. Let your DD enjoy them, and do something else with DS. She was probably clingy because she saw you feeling anxious about DS's behaviour and wanted to be there for you and was also worried that you would leave.

thanks for responding sallybear. DD was clingy because that is just her at the moment, she is always a bit shy in situations even with people she knows and is usually fine once she warms up. I had to take ds with me or not go so unfortunately that was not an option as we had been begged to go and reassured that ds wouldn't be an issue (maybe he wasn't for them but it was for me itms.)

one for each hand :)

coff33pot as usual is full of wisdom!!

My DD does not cope with parties very well either. Nice that these people know and care enough to make it a situation you could persevere with.