1st time on here, need some back up with this. Am I the only one?

[marjproops]

Ok. havent been able to read all threads but....DC has a very complicated condition thats been diagnosed, but I wanted her to see the specialist. GP said no. Outright no. I asked why. He said cos childrens services/Camhs etc were seeing to DCs needs. I said no they werent (true), DCs problems are so complicated no one can find a 'box' to put her in and gets passed from pillar to post and then forgotten. I said 'DC's got scoliosis therefore she sees specialist at the hoz for that, yes? if you have teeth probs you go to the specialist-dentist, eyes probs the specialist-opticians, yes?' GP nodded. so why arent you referring her to this xxx specialist that knows everything about her main condition and would know which 'box' to put her in? which services would help? GP said no. I am soooo respectful of people but I just stormed out of his room and slammed door behind me. he reported that I was neurotic. Am I? years and years of trying to get DC the proper help and support she needs and GP unwilling to help? anyone else had this? got new GP now and slowly hes looking into things but aaaarrrggghhhh!!!!

I was just about to say get a new gp but i see that you have.

I have no direct experience of this but i think its outrageous that he was so unwilling to help. Do you mind if i ask what the condition is? (nosy)

Its a lot of things really, autism/tourettes/ and other things that if you dont mind are too personal, intimate and painful to share and so i stick to a purely 'need to know' basis, thanx for being concerned though.

Not my fault or DC's fault she's like this, and she's going to need lifelong care.

Could you ask them for a referral to someone else within CAMHS? IME a second opinion was what it took to get that box ticked! It was still within the same CAMHS but just the central one instead of the south one that we are closer too. Just be careful though cos we then found out only the CAMHS who diagnosed would support us!

Sorry, i was curious.

Im so glad you've got a new doctor.

My own daughter only had reflux which is insignificant compared to yours, but she was very underweight because of it. We never got refered to anyone despite her vomiting everything 6 times a day and it not getting better even after she was weaned. It wasn't until she was actually losing weight and off the bottom of the chart when she was 3 that we got the referal. The problem was sorted in just a few months. If i could turn back the clock i would have been much more pushy. The Drs were offering her drugs which i declined as they sounded harsh and i realise now that they wouldn't have helped the problem anyway due to them not being specialists and not understanding the problem. They were the wrong solution. Gps can be great but there are something that only a specialist can help with.

DC WAS going to Camhs wher we used to live but they said they'd done all they could, that she was too old (10 at the time)-did dispute them, cos i said 'you are Child and ADOLESCENT mental health' people. but nooooo. new Gps looking to refer DC to local CAMHS. thanx for replying, SN mums, at least we can empathise, and know were not the only ones. im slowly going thru all the threads on this SN forum.

Thing is, thats when we're accused of being neurotic isnt it? when were pushy, but who else is going to fight for our childrens rights? they cant. someones got to speak for them. drives one mad doesnt it?!

I would ask the paed you see and/or CAMHS to refer on to the specialist instead, though hopefully the new GP will take things more seriously and listen and act.

No you are not neurotic, you just want your child to have the best possible help and that involves seeing the right people and getting all the information to start with. I got fobbed off for ages until DD's infant school got involved and hey presto the diagnoses came when the right people finally saw her.

All parents of SN children need to be pushy, being called neurotic makes you a good mum!

Sorry, I cannot help you or advise you. Just offering a hand to hold.

Thank you all. xx

I think most/many of us on here have been through similar trying to get help for our dcs.

As for being labelled neurotic parents, it goes with the territory. We just have to develop a rhino hide, while simultaneously going into battle with our steel-capped butt kicking boots and pointy sticks (if you haven't your own, they are often getting passed around in here). My rhino hide is a bit on the thin side and I'm not a great aim with the boots ... but I'm learning.

Sorry, I don't have any practical advice. It sounds like you are on the ball and have it covered.

Just wanted to sympathise and let you know you are not alone really.

If it helps, imagine a crowd of angry looking MNSNers standing behind you when you are dealing with 'certain professionals'. There are people here who swear by it.

ha ha, Ill do that, threaten them with the mumsnet army!!! good idea, imagining you all behind me as I talk.

btw any of you lone parents? cos I find that too, they know theres no partner to back me up or come with me, so they tend to 'pick on' you? A mum said that to me once (trouble at infant school once with a teacher) and turned out she was right. teacher was reported for picking on the single parents.

I read your post earlier and thought exactly the same thing you mentioned. Looking back now we did visit GP's, hospitals more than we should have but nobody ever said a word because we always went together. I am sure if we had visited on our own, it would have been a different story.

The stereotypes attached to my being a lone parent from professionals before even meeting me have left me gobsmacked at times tbh.

Even an otherwise reasonable school are convinced my son needs a "male role model". I wouldn't mind, but they keep picking candidates from the wrong culture and then wondering why on earth it's a total disaster time, after time. I can only compare it to teaming an avowed atheist with a religous fanatic & expecting them to spend Sundays on the same activity.

It really only pisses me off when they try to make clinical descisions about my child based on my marital status.