I am really stressed right now

[SpookyRumours]

So I thought I'd come here and just write it down.
Ds1 is autistic, dx 4 years ago, he's 9. Ds2 is 3 and is showing autistic traits and is undergoing observation and investigation for a possible dx. It's ds2 that's stressing me out at the moment, his behaviour is getting worse and I don't remember ds1 being this much hard work, and I thought that was hard at the time. If it doesn't go ds2's way he tantrums, hits throws things and gets so frustrated. His poor speech obviously doesn't help either. If he went to sleep at a decent time that would help too, at least me and dh would get some down time from it all before we go to bed.
There's nothing anyone can do, we just have to get on with it, buts its so bloody hard and tiring just now, and I can't believe we're going through it all again.

I just needed to vent.
No need to reply.

Sympathy.

Thankyou porridgelover, I feel better this morning, sleep always helps, ready to tackle another day.

sympathies to you. I would imagine a couple things are at play here.

First of all, you're not just dealing with one child, but two. DS2 is a load of work, but it's always ten times more stressful when DS3 is in the room as well, just because of the extra distractions and aggravations. It's the playing off each other, as well as just simple divided attention on my part - having to deal with a child 1 on 1 is just easier than when dealing with 2 IMO.

Sleep deprivation is a killer. It makes everything that much more stressful and frstrating. The same with "no down time" - if you don't get a break, it just reaches breaking point that much quicker. Make sure you and your DH at the very least swap off an hour or so where you can be in a different room, even just luxuriating in a bath with a book, so that you get some adult time! It's a sanity restorer!

Three is a hard age - DS3 is 3yo and sometimes it literally drives me to distraction. He has good verbal skills, but still often struggles to get his point across - simply because he's 3 and just doesn't always know the words to use. And there's a reason they call it "threenager"!! Stroppy is DS3's middle name right now. He can be sweet and cheerful one minute, and five minutes later he looks like he's auditioning for a part in the Exorcist! And he's NT, to the best of our knowledge. Add SNs and three can be such an explosive little package!

Hang in there, and try to make sure you get some sleep and some down time - even if just in little increments throughout the day. It does make a huge difference!

Thankyou for your post triggles, sleep and down time are the two things I am wanting and between me and dh we are working on. Even though I am so tired in the evening, dh will send me out with the dog while he takes over an gets the boys to bed. It doesn't happen all the time due to his work, and most of the time I don't feel like going out, but when I do it's actually great and just what I need. I unwind and come back to the boys ready for bed. Simple things that make such a lot of difference