Friday night thread....yes I know it's early!!! :(

[Badvoc]

Sooooo.
Been a bit of a shitty week casa Badvoc.
Dh is in the US and will be til next Thursday.
Ds1 is doing really well, another head teacher award yesterday for his writing :)
Heis also coping well with dh being away.
Ds2 however....
I realise I am going to sound a it mad but it's like deja vu...
Ds2 has suddenly become very distressed going to pre school. We had no idea why. Manager says no problems.
(Ds1 was bullied by the same child from nursery to year 2 and had a horrific effect on him.)
Took ds2 to a messy play session at pre school yesterday afternoon and...omg...
A child was so awful to ds2. Really singled him out. Hurt him, took all the things he was paying with....was a nightmare.
So.
Am pretty sure he is the reason ds2 is now so unhappy.
What should I do?
I am in bits.
It's all coming back...the same feelings, the same sick dread in the pit of my stomach...
Didn't sleep last night and can't eat :(
Wwyd?

for the split for you

My DS1 is Y9 and very nearly 15 but still just 5'6" (but very spotty and hormonal!)

My separation was very publically announced on MN, firstly on relationships, then on SN. I was very well supported both here and in RL. A year down the line the support is less, but we are all fine, especially DS2 who was 'not bothered in the slightest!' Autism has its advantages.

Very good side effect, was the loss of 3 1/2 stone! I'm now officially not overweight and have been forced to buy new clothes. Do not look like mutton dressed as lamb, oh no!

I hope you are back to stay. We I need posters with DC older than mine.

I'll make sure i'll pop on and not be a stranger.
very cool on the forced clothes shopping ! [Grin]

Glad you got the support you needed.. splits are hard work. I would'nt worry about venting on here

I am so sad when I read of any bullying. My concern, for some time, has been the liberal thinking tendency to treat bullies as victims as much as the actual victim. Yes, bullies have issues -but the idea that 'dialogue' (often the outcome) will somehow make a bully rethink what they are doing is laughable. Why can't bullies simply be told to stop or be punished? Many schools have wonderful anti-bullying policies-but my open suggestion to any prospective parent is: ask your intended school how many children have been actually punished , suspended or expelled for bullying? If the anser is none-don't be fobbed off with a 'it doesn't happen at our school' answer-of course it does. Then think again about your choice of school. My daughter suffered terribly at Wimbledon High School precisely because no body at the school would actually take action to stop it. She had to put up with 'dialogue' with the bully facilitated by a teacher-result the bully knew she would not be punished and just carried on! And then we became the problem becuase we persisted in seeking a proper resolution which the school didn't want. End result-daughter left the school and moved elsewhere-so from the school's perspective, a great result. The 'problem' child goes quietly and nothing needs to be done-and yet the school can trumpet its fantastic intolerance for bullying to new parents!.

Yes.
It's a problem.
If I take ds2 out he will be the one who is being punished.
The mother will be no help ( she is a f/t teacher...oh the irony)

It makes sense to try to facilitate resolve by discussion and intervention/mediation, etc but if this fails then obviously things have to be resolved by other means...this being the very grey area nobody seems to have many answers to...
I'm sorry your experience was negative.
My DS has been repeatedly bullied and assaulted twice by various children.(requiring Police) One particular child for a long time both in and out of school...the school were pro-active and this mediation extended to all the parents too...it was a positive outcome for us and things were much better once the parents were brought in and expected to take responsibility for their childs behaviour, etc. It worked for us and I was relieved.
The school called in a service provider which mediated in bullying situations and visited both sets of parents and they did the same in the school with this mediation service and school HT/ Teachers and the children there too.
I see that this experience isn't regular for many though and it needs lots of work to help within schools with this problem of bullying.
This was only 1 situation within many my DS has suffered though...so it's a very difficult area....far from being dealt with unless you involve Police tbh.

On a lighter note...
My friday was bloody dire and I couldn't even log on last night cos I felt so low....
Today, however...I have been given 2 pieces of very good news and am feeling much better and smiling ...and the sun is shining today too!!

:) pleased to hear it

thanks badvoc

I've just been dealing with a possible hack into my system this morning!!!....there I was doing whatever...and wondering why my laptop was running so weird, etc and this music starts playing!!!!

Been and done a whole sweep of laptop, removed weirdness I didn't recognise and re-installed google chrome, etc, sorted threats (of which there was quite a list....and thankfully everything seems fine now...think I've scuppered the hacker....thank goodness....horrible thought that there must have been someone trying to take over my system...!!...worrying and now being mega vigilant