Friday night thread....yes I know it's early!!! :(

[Badvoc]

Sooooo.
Been a bit of a shitty week casa Badvoc.
Dh is in the US and will be til next Thursday.
Ds1 is doing really well, another head teacher award yesterday for his writing :)
Heis also coping well with dh being away.
Ds2 however....
I realise I am going to sound a it mad but it's like deja vu...
Ds2 has suddenly become very distressed going to pre school. We had no idea why. Manager says no problems.
(Ds1 was bullied by the same child from nursery to year 2 and had a horrific effect on him.)
Took ds2 to a messy play session at pre school yesterday afternoon and...omg...
A child was so awful to ds2. Really singled him out. Hurt him, took all the things he was paying with....was a nightmare.
So.
Am pretty sure he is the reason ds2 is now so unhappy.
What should I do?
I am in bits.
It's all coming back...the same feelings, the same sick dread in the pit of my stomach...
Didn't sleep last night and can't eat :(
Wwyd?

[moosemama]

Glad you had a good time at Butlins. at you finishing your Christmas shopping.

Lola, I love giant chocolate buttons. I like to mix them up with the caramel ones in a big bowl and play lucky dip. Think I'll stick with my iced buns and cookies this evening though.

Ds actually managed to be sick on dh's best work suit, which he had only just had dry cleaned ready to start a new job next week. He was only wearing that suit, because he was sick on his other one himself earlier in the week! He's now planning to go out tomorrow to buy a brand new suit.

Notactually, I missed the last installment of the fish saga. I take it they've not been too well - to put it mildly. It's a minefield this fish keeping business isn't it, I'm dreading having to give in and allow ds1 to finally have a tank.

[StarlightMcKenzie]

Don't paint the fish!

[notactuallyme]

moose - you are starting your very own suit saga....
Blimmin fish! Most of them died within 48 hours (too much food, apparently) then i had to keep getting the water tested and it was never okay. So poor ds2 has no fish while ds3 has a tank full of spritely little survivors who can't believe their luck!
Lola I love chocloate buttons too...

[ouryve]

Whatthe - absolutely. DS1 has had issues with one boy since reception. The other boy would repeatedly walk up to him and shout "Hello" and DS1 would ignore him and walk away because this boy's behaviour was over the top and making him uncomfortable and DS1 only ever greets anybody on his own terms. A couple of years on, he'd still do it, occasionally and DS1 would lash out in annoyance. There's times he's done it in the street, with his parents there and I've had to explain "I'm sorry, but DS1 doesn't want to talk to you right now" because he's really persistent.

And he's had his parents complaining to school that he's crying himself to sleep because DS1 won't talk to him.

It's down on lots of class lists to keep the boys apart because it's a recipe for disaster to have them together and staff have worked hard at not allowing classes to be grouped so they're anywhere near each other. The boy's parents deny that he has anything that needs investigating, even though he exhibits a lot of pretty out of the ordinary behaviour, but I don't think a child with no issues would keep up a campaign like this for years and become so obsessive about it. A child who was genuinely bullying and in search of dominance to prove that he was kingpin would move on and find a different tack.

[ouryve]

Anyhow, on a more positive Friday eveningish note...

Our school allows the kids at coffee mornings, as well, if parents are there. They don't get coffee to drink, obviously. They all decorate cakes and biscuits for the morning and are allowed to buy up the leftovers in the afternoon instead of tuck shop!

DS1 has had a reasonably calm week, even though he didn't do any literacy until today, then he did the big write with the rest of his class. A huge improvement on last week, which was angst filled and rather kicky offy at times.

I think what has helped is drip feeding him a few titbits about a lovely, lovely school we visited earlier this week (and yes, we had to battle our way past various closed roads to get there because of the floods up here!) His eyes lit up at a few of the things I mentioned (I wasn't specific, just gave him an idea that his is not the only school in the world) and then he thought for a bit and said "but I really want to stay here until year 7." So we had a chat about how he needed to behave for that to be possible. He's been far from perfect and we had to bribe him to go in yesterday afternoon after missing the morning for a CAMHS appointment, but he seems determined to make an effort to control his anger. For now. If it lasts, the champagne is on me.

I'm visiting another school next week. It looks fab on paper, with separate ASD provision, but it's a regular LA SS and while it has had some big successes with twice exceptional kids, that's involved sending them into MS schools, which brings back all the sensory, social and organisational problems DS1 is having now and adds a whole bunch of new ones. I contacted our closest SS at the same time and haven't even been graced with a reply - plus the information on their website is pretty sketchy. So far not impressed but I know I'll have to push for a visit just so I can get some pertinent questions answered. There's another LA SS that has a decent reputation with ASDs, but that's much further away and I'll have to liaise with DH for a day off to visit that one, because I'll not be able to get there myself.

Anyhow, I haven't washed the dishes, yet. best do that and open the wine DH brought home so it has chance to breathe (haha)

[ouryve]

notactuallyme - even though we all have a pretty big thing in common, we do still differ in a lot of ways. There's plenty of topics on here that I will quietly creep away from because I figure everyone's hashing it out pretty well without my help :o

[notactuallyme]

ourvye that may be my plan. Sometimes I have posted what I thought was a supportive reply only to get attacked, and that did make me think about giving up. However, I joined years ago when we had a horrible pre natal 'diagnosis' and found a lot of helpful advice then; I need to get over myself!
I would love for our dcs to come to the coffee mornings

[EllenJaneisstillnotmyname]

Hello all. I'm rather late to the show, sorry, but I do have Minstrels to share.

This week has been all about DS3, 11+ practice, (I know, I know ) secondary school open evenings, three of them, and tomorrow he's performing with the school choir he sings about as well as me! Unfortunately he's with his dad this weekend so I'm not sure if I'm brave enough to go and watch them.

DS2 has been pretty much ignored except for trying to stop him wheezing with his inhaler. I am beginning to come to terms with the fact that he's not just prone to chesty coughs, he's actually asthmatic.

[Badvoc]

Oh Blimey everyone, sorry if I started a ruck! :)
So.
Shitty day has turned into shitty evening...ds2 is under the weather so popped in to see him at pils and he was very hot/temp. Gave him calpol.
He was then Hysterical when I tired to leave, hysterical when ds1 wanted to stay and then promptly threw up loads of phlegm :(
Oh dear.
Also those weird spots head last week have got little scabs on now?...does that mean it was C pox? Oh god!...seen my young niece this week!!
Fuckity fuck.
I am a grown woman and I feel like I could cry. It's deeply pathetic.
Star...I can relate to much of what you say. I grew up on the poverty line and it does make you a target for bullies. I was lucky in a way that I was in the top sets for subjects at school...it protected me a bit I think.
Wrt pre school it's for kids age 2-4.
On the way home in the car he was telling ds1 all about the story they were reading yesterday...Molly's brolly?
Sigh.
I am starting to doubt myself wrt ds2 :(
Contacted the other pre school and they only have 2 afternoons a week ATM available.
That's not necessarily a problem as sessions could become available next year...
They have said I can take ds2 for a taster session.
Don't know what to do.
Told current pre school I would give it til half term (3 weeks away)
I feel very overwhelmed today.
Sorry

[notactuallyme]

Hey Ellen - I am going to go and enjoy some p and q -dh out for a rare night, ds calm and quiet (prob should actually check WHY he is quiet) dd poorly and asleep and the littlies watching a dvd. Phew.
Pass the minstrels before I go back to the wine RL.

[ouryve]

DH bought a pretty big bottle of wine. Help yourselves.

I still haven't washed up and DS1 is playing very quietly with his lego over there. PLug your ears, everyone - I'm about to break it to him that it's bedtime and he's had a cob on, since he came home (again, the effort of being lovely)

[EllenJaneisstillnotmyname]

Hmm, I appear to have run out of Minstrels, how did that happen?

[ouryve]

Bet they fell down the back of the sofa. That always happens to me.

[NoHaudinMaWheest]

Schools and poo and bullying sorry so many seem to have had a bad week.

I'm feeling a bit fragile. Had an insight today into professional attitudes to parents and really need to vent about it/ process it. However friend I usually use for such things is very busy, DH is not usually much help and I can't post on here because of confidentiality issues.

Ds was 16 yesterday. Had mixed feelings about it. He has come such a long way since his 14th when he was still in hospital. There was a team meeting for him that day and there was genuine concern about whether he would be able to live at home again. (And he couldn't even have candles on his cake because they would set off the fire alarm!) So things are much better but 16 is the first milestone to growing up and he still has such a long way to go.

[notactuallyme]

ellen I hope you're not suggesting I forgot to pass them back
haudin - sorry that that happened.

[EllenJaneisstillnotmyname]

I think they may have fallen into my mouth.

Sorry you can't vent even on here, Nohaudin. You can always do some MNetty swearing! I think I spend too much time here, I described a rather potty mouthed friend today as someone who calls a cunt a cunt! They were very shocked!

[Thecarrotcake]

whooohoooo friday night thread is still going !

hello all :)

[ouryve]

[hugs] and for you and for the people what have pissed you off, NHMW

[EllenJaneisstillnotmyname]

Carrotcake, is that you? Where have you been?

[Thecarrotcake]

Ellen it IS me! .. .. life sort of went rather busy.. how are you and yours?

[Thecarrotcake]

Life in the Carrotcake house hold is good. DS1 is now working.. DS2 is HUGE! and still ds2.. making big leaps and bounds though ( is doing a GCSE this year!) and DD has hormones

[EllenJaneisstillnotmyname]

Ah, welcome home!

It all got a bit complicated here, my STBX H had an affair and left just over a year ago, but the boys still see him (and the OW, unfortunately) every other w/e, but I'm doing fine. Thank god for MN, keeps me sane.

My DS2 is nearly 13 and just started Y8, coping well with pretty much full time 1:1 in secondary school.

How are you and yours?

[EllenJaneisstillnotmyname]

Oops, crossed. How huge is your DS2? Is he Y10 or 11 now?

[Thecarrotcake]

Y9 huge ( just doing the 1 early gcse in stats)
but stands at 5'9" and growing like a weed!

ace that your DS2 is coping with secondary [ smile]