where to find respite?

[colditz]

My ds2 needs some time with me desperately. Where do I go for respite? I've asked the doctor and the school, but they both referred me to school nurse, who isn't available. Can I sort something myself?

I am assuming you meant to say that your DS needs some time without you, as you are asking about respite.
If your DS has disabilities and is under 18 , then I would suggest you approach your Disabled Children's Team, (or similar name) which is part of your Local Authority. You need to ask for an assessment of both your needs (as a carer) and your son's needs. They will have a specific criteria for who qualifies for what service. What is on offer by way of respite varies depending on where you live. In our area there are 'activities' for children with SN who do not meet the criteria for other services. So it all depends on the level of your son's need. Those meeting the 'criteria' may get Direct Payments to buy in 'support worker' hours, overnight respite either with a family or in a 'respite unit', access to school holiday clubs etc.

No, I mean that my ds1 has autism and takes all my attention. This leaves ds2 feeling neglected, and he needs some time with me and without his brother. Sorry I wasn't clear.

Thanks for the information, will follow that up

All I really want is for ds1 to go somewherw after school once a week so I can do something with ds2.

I understand. Then I would say yes definitely get an assessment on the basis that you need to spend some time with your other son.
Not sure how old your DS's are, but in some areas they run siblings groups for children who have a disabled sibling. They usually consist of fun activities and give the child an opportunity to spend some time with others who are in the same situation. They will also be run by an adult who has some connections/qualification that means they can help the NT child deal with their feelings. Sometimes this group comes under the umbrella of Young Carers as although the NT child is not the main carer, their life is greatly affected by their parent's caring responsibilities.
Appreciate the above doesn't solve DS2 getting to spend time with you but it may help with other aspects of his life.