NEW Tinsley house support thread -part 2!!

[Badvoc]

Hello everyone!
Thought I should start a new thread as we were nearing 1000 posts! :)
Indigo is no longer posting as you all know, but I think it would be such a shame for the support thread to go too.
I know I find reading about all the ups and downs we all experience very helpful and it's so great to hear all the progress :)
So.
We go back to TH next month and can't wait. So interested to see of the tracking programme has worked. I think ds1s reading speed has improved and he is now reading proper chapter books!
He continues to show less anxiety, OCD behaviour and stress.
He is eating better and is generally a much happier chap.
Looking forward to hearing from you all over the next few weeks/months...X

Ruggles...
When we got Tom into his current school I was just honest, but only told them what I thought was relevant.
I told them about his awful experience at his old school and that due to that we had been home schooling him for 11 months.
I said that I knew he wasn't where he should be wrt the NC and that his spelling and reading weren't age appropriate.
I told the HT that we had done some dyslexia interventions like head sprout, toe by toe etc.
Tbh, ime schools aren't really that interested in stuff parents do at home.
Toms school know that he did rrt as he needed days off to attend appts which they were fine about.
They also know he is doing "vision exercises" but that's it.
tom is doing very well and - in the final analysis - that is all school care about.
I let them think its down to their phonics interventions :)
I would advise doing similar.
By all means be honest, but dont expect them to be interested in TH or anything else you are doing.
I think my sons school think my interventions are either misguided, quaint or the actions of a new age weirdo :) or all 3!

Things you do need to ask about are;
If your ds needs additional help what interventions are there in place? What do they use? (read write inc etc) Who works with dc on SA and SA+? Is it the senco or a ta? Is there a full time Senco?
Also, write a list of things you want for ds, or at least what you hope the school can help him with. Eg: provision if ds needs help transitioning from nursery to school...quiet area, Lego, activity breaks etc
I think a big issue will be tiredness - as it will for all new reception starters but obv you ds might need more understanding and help in that regard.
In meetings I tend to completely forget what I want to day, so I find having a crib sheet to practise with really helps!

Would love to try to meet up (with or without dcs!). IB also mentioned trying to get something organised for the summer (I think she has done something before but not specifically TH). Not sure where everyone is but I am west London area.

Well done for standing your ground, Ruggles, with Hall bookings. Thankless task, obviously. Badvoc's suggestion of a crib sheet for questions when looking at schools is a very good idea. I rarely go to meetings about ds without my file of reports, a pen and paper - harking back to my professional days, lol. You obviously want to know that the school will meet your dc's needs. If you are not sure whether these would be different from other dcs starting, ask nursery what they think he will need.

I don't mention TH much. Ed Psych, neurologist and specialist teacher at school all know but have not mentioned it to schools we looked at. As Badvoc says, they don't really need to know what you are doing at home.

Thank ladies, that is really useful. It's made me realise that we need to go prepared rather than a vague chat about how he's not enjoying pre-school / is a late developer. Will go armed with a file and note pad. I am not sure how different he is from the others and don't want to ask nursery as they think he is going up to Reception with them next year as we haven't handed in our notice yet...

I will make a list of things that DS struggles with at the mo and see what they suggest about how we can make these better for him. Should I ask for him to go on SA or SA+ or ask how they decide whether its appropriate or necessary? Should I ask to meet the SENCO / class teacher before he joins?

Understand about them not being interested in Robin but hope they don't want us to see and EP. DH is really anti this and we sort of hoped that TH would help iron out some of the problems...

He has started worrying about assembly again after a month of really enjoying it - he says the girls are weird and he doesn't like it when they sing!

Badvoc - I didn't realise that you had HS'd Tom for a year - you must have been really worried about him starting back at school again.

Me again! Something else I wanted to ask. One of the things which DS finds most difficult is his spatial awareness - he bashes into things, sits down on people and doesn't understand about respecting people's personal space. He doesn't realise he finds it difficult but it affects his friendships, especially with new children. Other DCs run away from him and find him annoying. He's a real character and once they get to know him, it does become a bit easier. It's got me thinking about TH and how different parts of the programme help different parts of the brain. Does anyone know when we start on exercises which help this? I know IB used to say that the social stuff was the last bit at the front of the brain.

Ruggles...Tom did a course of rrt before TH which really helped his dyspraxia - which I think may be what you are describing.
I would recommend it but think you need to complete TH first by which time you may not need it!
Can your ds ride a bike? Scooter? Swim?
I was desperately worried about him starting school again. This school has been so good for him I am really really sad that he is going up to middle school in sept and, of course, am more worried than most parents after what we have been through :(
Wrt EP report, I have to say that the school will not suggest this unless your ds has really severe problems, which I dint think a the case. Most people have to fight tooth and nail or pay for one themselves, so don't worry too much about that just yet.
And remember, your ds has another x of months on the TH programme before he starts reception.
Wrt SA - that is down to the school and Senco. He will have an assessment after he starts - as will all the children - and this should flag up any issues.
It is worth remembering that IEPs (individual education plans) for kids in SA or SA+ are a pretty blunt tool and unlike toms, some are not academic targets, some are social or emotional targets like "to sit nicely in assembly all term" or something.
SA+ is only for kids who have had outside intervention like salt, OT or EP.
It's worth reading up about IEPs when you have chance as they should have SMART targets, be reviewed termly and you should have a copy of the latest and sign off on it...this doesn't always happen!
But...this may not apply to your ds at all :)
Always a good idea to be forewarned though. Forewarned is forearmed!
Do use the phrases;
Transition anxiety
Developmental delay
Sen provision
Good luck!
And whatever happens, go with your gut instinct!!

Absolutely, school will not rush to refer to an EP. Why is your Dh anti this though? It was soo useful for us (although ds is a lot older) as it teased out what he was having difficulty with and gave ds proof of how bright he is (ds thinks he isn't).

Ruggles, you could still ask your ds' nursery about transition to Reception and if they think he could struggle with any aspect of the move. The nursery don't need to know you are thinking of somewhere else (and probably don't really care mind).

Lol at your description of IEPs, Badvoc. Having been banging my head against a wall trying to get SMART targets for ds! Have now resorted to asking ds' lovely specialist teacher to write his IEP - which is very cheeky because she works in the Upper school, because the SENCO sees an IEP as a 'long term' document

Ruggles, re: spatial awareness. Why don't you email Robin? I am not sure whether/when this would improve. Would be interesting to hear what he has to say.

:)
Yeah, I don't have a very high opinion of IEPs. Or school sen processes in general but that's a whole other thread :)
The frustrating thing is that it's a part of the process you have to go through if your child has additional needs. Another hoop to jump through.
They are pretty pointless IMHO.
I get toms, sign it and "file" it.
The silly thing is most Sencos and teachers feel the same way about them. Any decent school will be doing continuous assessment on the children anyway, so IEPs tend to just be another piece of paper they have to be seen to complete.
Daft...IEPs can indeed be long term documents. My friend is a secondary teacher and she has year 10s on them. But any Senco who actually assumes that a child will still need one xx years hence is very poor!!
Thing is, even good schools fail wrt sen kids. And it's simply down to money and lack of relevant skill base.
Most Sencos are regular teachers who just take on the role as an extra job. They rarely get any additional training.
It's scandalous really.
And half the time the person doing the intervention is a TA!
(Nothing against TAs, but it's not ideal)
Got a B of Gov meeting tonight.
I hope to bring about real change at my sons school, and ensure that kids with additonal needs are not failed and I think this is the best way.
So, that's always an option! Get involved, be a part of the solution!
:)

Once children get older, I think the IEP should be a document that they have involvement with (obviously, this wouldn't work with all kids). For ds, he needs to know the areas he needs to work on and be able to see himself achieving his targets. If the targets are wishy washy, no-one bothers to look at them or work towards them - they just get filed for a year.

It is very frustrating! Have written and been involved with writing many IEPs in my time and have seen how they can work when done properly.

Anyway, onwards and upwards!!

Ds had to do his tracking this morning because he forgot last night. Need to get him to stop moving his head though. Head vice?

:) aT head vice

Ruggles, we have tried both approaches with schools - bring totally open and being selective. I too have had bad experiences with senco, 1-1 support etc and a, so glad we went down the route of being selective with ds' current school. At the old school they constantly made excuses for him, let him opt out of stuff he didn't like but did nothing useful to help him. At this school he is treated just like everyone else and has risen to the challenge. No doubt 8 months of TH has helped. Do you feel your ds will need 1-1 or will he cope without? If he needs it you will need to tell the school everything and make it sound worse than it it. But they will probably start talking ed psych and statutory assessment. I share your dh's feelings about ed psyches. I have only had negative experiences with them I'm sad to say.
Re spatial awareness we found a massive improvement in this area just from the stairs exercise. Last Easter ds was nowhere close to being able to ride a two wheeler, couldn't kick or catch a ball, couldn't scoot and was constantly in people's space. He was also still in night time nappies ( which I link with physical development). We started TH in June and by our August appointment with Robin he could do all of the above and was dry at night. He is still a bit of a space invader :) but is better. I know you've been doing the chair spinning, maybe your ds is ready for stairs now?
Re telling school about TH I wouldn't. I don't even tell friends as I know they will think I'm being conned by a quack. Schools like to think they are responsible for all improvements.

Daft - I always knelt down next to ds while he did tracking and rested a heavy arm on his shoulder. This helped him keep his head still without the need for a vice :)

The stairs will make a huge difference to your ds...didnt realise he wasnt doing them yet.
Coincidentally the first rrt exercise is chair spinning! Its a very powerful excercise...
We had the same experience as shopping wrt bike riding etc.
Its hard to accept sometimes thag this a programme that needs following in a specific order depending on the child and that it takes time...i wish that like some of you i started early :(

Mum got a call at 4pm...op on monday!

Great news. What a relief for you all.

Yay, fingers crossed for Monday! x

Badvoc - that is fantastic news, you must be very relieved. I really hope it all goes very well.

Thank you, as ever, for all the chat and advice. DH and I made a list last night about what help DS may need and had a good chat about how much we want to disclose to school at this point. Apart from letters and numbers, I think he can do without 1-2-1.

• Transition: We're going to focus on the transition to a new environment and what we can do to make that as smooth as possible and then see how we get on with the other things once we are there. We'll move him as soon as poss and then building up the mornings in pre-school so that he's doing 5 mornings by the end of the summer term. I think we'll ask about the tiredness and how to help overcome that and generally, what they do to help children who find it all a bit overwhelming....
• Spatial awareness: We'll say that this has been a problem, but seems to be improving.
• Letters and numbers and seems to have trouble remembering them.

Daft, he's really anti EP's for a couple of reasons. This is all quite new for us and its taken him a while to accept that DS has some challenges - I think an EP would 'rubber stamp' or formalise (?) this, which frightens DH. He also worries about some of these professionals. Friends in London had a horrible experience and I know from my own teaching days that it can all bit a bit hit and miss. When we started looking into Robin, DH spent ages checking him out and read all the good and bad bits online before deciding that he was safe to be let loose on DS!

More....

DS is doing the stair and we have seen some big improvements, but they have tailed off. IB emailed me yesterday to say that the stair is the one which helps with spatial awareness and the social stuff comes at the end. So, am really going to work with DS on the stair. We're doing 3 reps and he does them ok, but am going to work on a constant improvement rather than the process.

Shoppingbags, I love your expression Space Invader - perfect!

I know I keep saying it, but thank you so much for all of the advice. I don't know where we would be without so many supportive, helpful folk!

Ruggles ime EP reports are fairly pointless unless your child has complex needs. And even then the recommendations can be very hard to get implemented :(
Wrt to dyslexia, dyspraxia, as I say ime they are mostly ignored.
Partially because any decent school will have continuous monitoring in place anyway, but also because the schools don't really understand what these conditions are let alone how to help the dc!
I think now your ds is on the stairs you will see more improvements...but do be patient! Took Tom 4 months to complete that part of the programme.
Mum has her pre op tomorrow :) just so relieved...it's been a difficult few months.
Conservatory roof coming odd today! Please don't let it rain!...

Ruggles, just been thinking about your ds and numbers and letters. Am I right that he hasn't started school yet? Then let me tell you about my NT dd who started school last September. Before she started school she could just about write her name. She couldn't or wouldn't learn any of the other sounds I tried to teach her. ( ds could read CVC words six months before he started school so I was concerned). She could count accurately but couldn't remember any numerals at all, not even a 4 for her age. I would show her a number 4, put it back in among a few other numbers and immediately after ask her to find the 4. She couldn't do it.
Fast forward to now after a term and a half at school. She is in the top reading group and is flying with phonics. She can now recognise and write numbers up to 20.
I think pre schools make too much fuss about reading and writing which are skills for school-age children to learn. I suspect once your ds starts school he will have little trouble with letters and numbers. I personally wouldn't mention it to his new school. Some children start school without ever having seen a book or been read to.

Sorry, I'm on a roll now. I would, however, mention the spatial awareness problems. Ds always has his peg on the end of the row so that he has a little extra space. Things like that make all the difference and are easy for teachers to implement.

I know many teachers - family and friends - and the general consensus seems to be that it's almost better for a child to be a blank page (tabula rasa) so that the school can start from the beginning iyswim?
So I agree with shopping.
Well, the roof came off and the rain came down!! :(

Ruggles..I e-mailed the treasurer and told him I am not planning on standing for nomination again for the PCC. I am also not going on an away day on Saturday.
He said he would ring me, but hasn't yet. Then again, I have been pretty busy today so he made have tried.

Thanks, have been thinking about your posts and agree - going to leave all the letter and number stuff for school and just focus on our exercises, stories, games and having fun at home. Am quite nervous about tom, but glad that DH is coming and that I've had lots of good pointers here.

Shoppingbags - I am very interested to read about your daughter - I just love these experiences! Going to ask for a peg on the end too

Badvoc - I am so delighted for you. Of course he hasn't phoned as he is busy phoning everyone else to work out how to get you to stay!!! Well done you. I am so sorry to hear about the rain... and cold ... and wind!

Ruggles, hope the visit is good tomorrow. Let us know.

Badvoc, hope you manage to extricate yourself!

Great day today. Ds had his offer from his school. Bucks Fizz all round with tea (non-alcoholic, sugar and e-number free, of course!)

Ds' lovely teacher has come through with his IEP tonight too. It's sooo much better than the SENCO's efforts!