ASD Diagnosis process for younger siblings who show traits?

[MisForMumNotMaid]

DS1 has ASD. It's been quite pronounced since he was little, different from day 1. First referred at 3 diagnosis around his 7th birthday. DS 2 has very slight traits, as diagnosed by us and school but not taken further because some could be put down to learned behaviour of DS1. DD1, who is just 20 months is possibly showing quite a few traits. She is a lovely, possibly over content, child. If we do things like leave her bedroom in a different way she has an inconsolable tantrum. She in many ways is very similar to how DS1 was at this age, except she sleeps - he still struggles. She has never comforted by being cuddled/ rocked or handled but likes to present herself for cuddles, she does make some eye contact - this is better than DS1 who really struggles with any. There are so many tiny little things that just tweak my curiousity.

I'm not sure if I'm starting to over observe. I never had any concerns of this nature with DS2.

If you've had siblings diagnosed when did you start the process?

Is it a case of wait until it is an issue in school?

We have it the other way round. DS has a diagnosis, his older sister is now 7 and I can see she has traits, but she is doing very well academically and even her social skills seem to be improving, so I'm going to diagnose her with aspergers traits and leave it until there's an issue (hopefully there won't be)

We're going through this at the moment and I started a thread yesterday asking whether pointing at 11mths was a good indication that DS2 wasn't on the spectrum. Mixed responses so just waiting.
In our case DS2 is very different from DS1 but you are obviously seeing many similarities between your DS and your DD.
How does the quality of interaction feel to you? Does she point, share, show and generally communicate with you with ease? If you feel it warrants an assessment can you go through your DS's paed? As you're already in the system it should be easier to get seen or at least taken seriously.

I definitely wouldn't wait until school as sorting out everything before then would allow you to make a more informed decision about her schooling. And as I'm sure you know, EI could make a huge difference to her.
Good luck

Don't wait but be prepared for the professionals to want to 'wait and see'. My DS has autism, was concerned about DD from about 19months.
1st appt with paed at 20months who brushed us off.
Started SALT at about 22months.
Had appt at social communication clinic-want to revise in 6 months.
Been referred to sensory clinic and is about to be referred to Nuffield speech and language centre to be assessed for verbal dyspraxia.I have also applied for SA1 form today to start the statementing process(again).
No diagnosis as yet but speech is the main concern at mo so going with that.she is 3 in November.
So what I'm trying to say is yes start the process ASAP as before you know it,it's time to apply for schools and in my opinion,it's important to make sure the right support is in place from the beginning.
Good luck

Thank you for your responses. It's good to hear that I'm probably not being pushy about diagnosis/ pursuing this by asking about it now.

DD does point ( almost continually at everything) she has some words and is very stubborn about making sure she's getting what she wants - I acknowledge this could be normal age related behaviour. She is petrified in social settings, very unsettled with things she doesn't know but very very relaxed and at ease just being left to herself at home. Being very relaxed at home is lovely but this was with hindsight one of many of DS's early clear indicators. Children should want some interaction.

She does do some back and forth with interaction. We did a series of little jigsaws earlier on, she does them all the time. I clapped her after the first and then she clapped herself after each of the others - very sweet, but she was responding to interaction.

I guess I should call the GP and start the ball rolling.

I spoke to the autism team as they dx-ed DS1. They were quite happy to add DS2 direct to their list without any involvement with the GP. However, they are a very friendly team in general so not sure if would work elsewhere.

Oh I hadn't thought of just phoning them. I was lucky to have a really lovely CAMH'S team too. Good point. I'll try to kick myself sufficiently hard to have an informal chat with them rather than the slow process of through the GP.

I knew quite early on with dd even though she is very different to ds who is also autistic. I asked my GP for a referral to the pead and had a very frank discussion with her where I explained why I was concerned and asked her if we could circumvent the whole multi disciplinary malarkey as it had been so terrible last time. She diagnosed her very quickly but asked me to go back and do the whole process later on as she thought it would be better to have thorough assessments of dd for schooling etc.

Hi Mis, my experience with DD was different in that I had no idea that she was displaying red flag behaviours. I knew that her speech was behind, and the HV referred her to a SALT following her two year assessment. She saw the SALT a month later who referred her urgently to multi-disciplinary assessment.
With the benefit of hind-sight, the red flags were there - I just wasn't aware. She was an incredibly easy baby - made no demands of me at all. She did interact with me to an extent, but she had no joint attention. She sometimes has good eye-contact, but it is brief. She often did not respond to her name, but this is improving. She was and is affectionate and sociable, but always on her own terms. She does like people, but she loves to be by herself - she has likes to sit in cupboards, under the stairs etc.
She's 3.8 now and has started the assessment for ASD. I wish that I had been aware of the traits earlier on.
All the best to you and your DCs