IndigoBell support thread

[betterwhenthesunshines]

I see from another member that Indigo Bell has been banned from MN. I would just like to say that it was her advice that led me to look into help for my DD. Without that I truly believe she would not have made the advances she has.

Indigo's views mat not have been proven scientifically, but she certainly helped open many people's eyes to alternative ways of helping their children. People could choose to listen or ignore as they wished. She always took time to help people who were stuck and frustrated. I miss her and MN is a poorer place without her.

AT the top of this page Our SN area is not a substitute for expert advice. While many Mumsnetters have a specialist knowledge of special needs, if they post here they are posting as members, not experts.
So I propose that MN reconsiders. Please.

It's not fair to suggest that anyone is banned for holding a viewpoint. It's been made very clear that it was the expression of that viewpoint in a style that suggested, or expressly stated, that parents who did not do as Indigobell did were not only failing their children, but also responsible for the continued presence of dyslexia in their children's lives that was unacceptable to MNHQ. Indigo then told MNHQ that she would not adjust her conduct, so the would need to ban her. Just as in The doghouse, Valhalla was contacted about her postingmanner, refused to stop, then was banned.

It isn't an opinion that got her banned. In fact, if she was prepared to talk to MNHQ and refrain from telling parents that if they spent enough money and worked hard enough their child would be cured of dyslexia, she could come back and continue to post about all the things that have helped her daughter. MNHQ have even stated that weren't against her posting that she considers her child cured of dyslexia.

So if a poster on MN expresses their opinion with too much passion they risk being banned too?

I suppose if that 'passion' makes someone else who really doesn't need it feel like shit, then yes?

As ive said before I do think her heart was in the right place, I just dont agree with her opinion or how militant she came across.

Maybe ive missed a bit, but she did ask them to ban her didn't she? they didn't just ban her?

The quality of mn's response is very poor though Amber. The immediate response on this thread was to say "oh but she asked us to". There's no logic to that.

If ask them to ban me, will they ban me too? Or will they say "no we refuse to because you haven't breached our rules".

If MNHQ ban a member but then simultaneously seek to avoid responsibility for banning the member that's a poor show I think. A decision to ban should only be made if MNHQ are willing to adopt a stance that the member breached the rules. "Oh but she asked to be banned" is a poor explanation.

It is beginning to sound like "constructive" banning ... her position was no longer tenable

Her position was totally tenable. Continue to post about your DD. Continue to share her success. Continue to post about you view of the cause of that success. Please don't tell other people that if they don't do the same, they are failing their children.

How hard is that?

like a constructive dismissal when no one wants to stand up and say "we fired her".

yes, agree. those situations usually arise when the boss is away....

It depends on how much you care

It doesn't. There are lots of ways to get a mage over without implying that parents who don't have the resources (either in money, time or ability) to follow an anecdotal therapy plan, are falling their children.

message*

There's that word again ...imply

Lougle.
Fgs.
What indigo and I do does not mean remortgaging your bloody house, so stop it.
It involves buying a book from amazon for £4 and some supplements.
Also cutting down in carbs and additives in food and eating more protein...interestingly there have been 2 tv programmes recently in the benefits of low carb eating :)
If you want to go further and use computerised eye tracking programmes then you can but you don't have to and certainly there are many in the TH thread that just do the basics and have had great results.
I can assure you indigo and I do not think they are failing anyone!
I do wonder if what indigo recommends - from her own years if experience and research - came from another poster whether you would feel so unhappy abut it?
From what I can see in MN there are much much worse posting styles than indigos and yet they remain....
If you don't like it, dont read it fgs!
Public forum people.
You will often read stuff you don't agree with.

Lougle.
I know what I know.
I have seen my son go from being an child with severe dyslexia/OCD and asd to a child who gets certificates in school nearly every day.
Who now eats and sleeps better.
Who is not anxious anymore.
Who is not in constant pain with his stomach and bowels.
Who has gone from not being able to write a legible sentance to a child who wins story competitions.
That is all I need to know.
If someone wants to know how I helped him and what I did fine.
If they don't fine.
I dont give the tiniest fuck.

Indigo explicitly told a poster that they were failing their child.

I suppose you have never posted anything that could have been worded more sensitively ...I know I have. If only MN had an edit facility

I have to say that there are one or two posters who loathe indigo and myself...who have made awful personal attacks and who think we are idiots.
That's ok.
I would rather spend my £ and time helping my son than fighting schools and LAs who have no interest whatsoever in kids with sn/sen and have neither the trained staff or resources to do so.
But that's just me obv.
As for everyone else....well...do what everyone else does....apply for SA. Fail. Appeal. Fail. Go to tribunal. This process takes in average 18 months to 2 years iirc. Then try and get the school to implement the statement. Fail.
Up to you, of course.
It's wrong and disgusting what happens to parents who are just trying to help their kids. But it is the reality for far too many of the posters on MNSN.
But it seems to me that anyone who decides not to go down that route - like me and indigo - are treated appallingly.

Of course I have, mrz. But had I been contacted by MNHQ, I would have apologised and aimed to modify my behaviour.I wouldn't have rolls them to get stuffed or ban me.

I like indigobell. I found many of her posts helpful. It doesn't mean it's a personal attack on her to disagree with her stance on this or to be able to see why a banning was inevitable.

Lougle....Indigo has a very strident posting style.
I know her personally and I suppose I am used to it. She has never upset me.
I guess you have never worded a post in an insensitive way before?
I know I have.
It's not meant to offend.
Sometimes you are just in a rush and dont think it through.
And then sometimes there are just differences of opinion.
That's all it is really.
We do this, you do that.
Indigo and I feel very passionately about what we are doing.
It has, quite simply changed my sons life and made our family's life so much better.
I would love to help all those who can be helped by this approach (not everyone can obv) but the fact is a tiny minority of people will do it.
We know that.
But it won't stop us telling everyone about it.
You know why?
Because I truly believe in 10-15 years what we are doing will be mainstream.
So.
Wait if you want.
But I'm not.

It's totally disingenuous to play the 'don't read or listen if you don't want to' card. We don't go with that view for disablist posts, so why here?

I medicate my son. It helps take the edge off some of his autism and virtually eradicates his ADHD. If I told a parent who didn't medicate that they were failing their child, most of you would (rightfully) come down on me like a ton of bricks. This isn't really different. Itks not right that she a) claims that things can be cured and follows that up by b) telling other parents that they are responsible for their child's SN if they trust schools and don't go her route.

SHE UPSET PEOPLE; they complained. HQ asked for a toning-down; she refused. She then asked them to ban her. Where in that does it become MNHQ's fault?

I medicated my son too til we started TH.
What's your point?
She upset people.
And?
I am upset by posts everyday on MN...I either dont read certain topics or I stop reading if I know it will distress me.
Not hard, is it?
Also, as I have been told countless times...it's only words on a page by people you don't know.
Dunno.
Se stuff you read is so disgraceful it should be deleted straight away and yet it stands...
All a matter of opinion surely.
Another persons free and frank discussion is another persons deeply felt disgust.

"I truly believe in 10-15 years what we are doing will be mainstream."

I think this is an incredibly important point.

Yep.
And I will stand proudly next to indigo when she finally gets the recognition she deserves.

...end of sermon!

Badvoc people seem to be saying if you don't like what someone says you should complain to MN. Now how does that work in RL

:) I know mrz.
I feel quite sorry for MNHQ sometimes.
They must feel like the UN some days :)