I am having a bad day,I don't know what to do anymore.im at the end of my tether with both DC,and no one wants to help us.

[LiberteEgaliteFRIGGernite]

DD was supposed to be being assessed for spectrum disorders....6 months later....nothing.
She is getting harder to handle and I don't know what to do,I cannot cope with her.she is nearly four,and starting school in September.I can't wait.i worry for her,but equally can't wait to get her into school for 6hours a day.
I know how awful that sounds.

DS has a speech delay.he has made no progress in 6 months.i have had two paed appointments and a hearing rest,which is more than DD has had,but still,no actual help.

I don't know what to do.
I don't even know what I want from this thread.

And I'm bloody crying now.

As daft as it sounds, just try to keep plugging along trying different things to alter behaviour - right now you're coping with a number of behaviours that are driving you mental (worse because you're tired). Get a handle on even a couple, and it will make a huge difference. Some behaviour issues will most likely always be there, but it's the constant full-on of it that always makes me the most stressed. We're dealing with a few that I'm racking my brains on how to fix - I've tried a couple different things that didn't work, so trying to think outside the box now.

Sadly we have given in a bit to the world of video games. He has a 3DS (that I won here on MN actually - thanks MN!), which he absolutely loves. Extra time on it is used as a treat, and he uses it afterschool for a bit each day. It has sometimes also been one of those things that I can say "okay 15 minutes on the DS for you" and get time to regroup with a coffee. I try never to do this when he has been misbehaving though, as I don't want it to seem like a reward. Mainly that's for when his brother has been winding him up and he's getting distressed.

As far as the drinks spilled the other day go, can you put together a drink or two for her in spill proof cups that she can access? Maybe on the counter (juice or water or squash) with a few ice cubes in them to keep them cool.

DLA is based on care needed - not necessarily DX. We got DLA for DS2 in December 2010 and didn't get a DX until July 2011.

She already had juice in a cup that day,we give her spill proofs,but people (my parents and her preschool teachers mainly) keep telling er they are for baby's,so she went to get herself onein a 'big girl cup' but she always spills them,every single time Gah!

Argh! I can't find the sodding phone number for the HV,let alone an email address.
The GPs at my surgery are utterly useless,and there are no appointments for two weeks.

Aren't people so helpful to tell her that? Easy for them to say when they don't have to clean it all up IMO! We get that here too.

Yes,quite
Lovely of them also to tell her she is a baby for going in the double buggy on days when she is uncontrollable,and I have to get things done/get her to pre-school/ am to tierd to keep checking where she is,etc.
Oh it's also nice to hear your own mother say she doesn't like your daughter.

Amazing isn't it? I think a very firmly put "mind your own business and stop telling her these things" might be in order.

Yes,quite....

I've just had a rather good moment with DS,see thread ^ up there....
So I'm elated ATM

Oh,that's a good idea.