residents beware we have just received important information to advise the general public to look at our aerial google view and if you are within a radius 80 miles of the X mark to cross the boarder into Devon for your own safety.
This woman has threatened to erradicate camhs due to A) her jar of nescafe was empty this morning b) coping with bullshit on phone prior to raiding her husbands wallet for cash for said coffee.
Goverment are pulling out the stops and have told camhs staff to vacate their premises and be prepared to say goodbye to their families. New identities will be given and they will be transported to destination unknown.
Should anyone approach this woman please do so with exteme care. In an act to show you are not aggressive it is best to place a Costa Latte on the doorstep in full view and retreat to a safe place of about 15 feet.
Dos.....leave latte and proceed to wait for 45 mins before entering building.
Dont....use terminology of "I am sorry", "we will call you" or most importantly "how are you feeling"
Failing to follow this guide could well result into mayhem and destruction.
The property is currently under serveillance and another human has been found to be present. We deem this other man is at the moment safe and well but it has been noted earlier he was upstairs pressed against the window with a sign one can only assume was a pillowcase witht he words SAVE ME written in lipstick.