Sorry about that.....unlike me to be quiet for soooo long!!!
Thanks to all your advise (popsycal especially as you are a teacher) i was able to meet the Head with a few things to discuss- She still thinks ds1 doesn't need statementing- however agreed that he is likely to perform well below his ability in yr6 sats- this hurts me terribly as it looks like there is little point us 'just' going for statementing in the hope that someone will 'help' him achieve his whole potential- however the PAED/Head teacher has agreed to assess Ds1 in 'written/comprehension' literacy and numeracy- rather than when the outreach team observed him in ICT and Science...his strongest subjects. Also found that the 25 mins was a single block every day however has been 'stopped' as was only ALS- and he is too far above the other kids- so he nor they benefit from him being there. We agreed to meet up after the Paed has assessed- i am going to 'carefully' gather my thoughts well ahead of that meeting...more to the point i will be 'picking YOUR brains!!!'We also discussed ds2 who at 7 i believe has AS- agreed a 'different' way of 'warning' him about behaviour which finally includes a 'link' book separate to the reading record- and also i insisted that the way forward is to take away 5 mins of playtime- and then 'give it back ' if he either apologises (a big prob for him as he shows no remorse) or immediately stops whatever he is doing wrong and gets on with whatever he should be doing (ie self control/focus). These are big steps for him- yet she still did not get me to sign the School action or action plus....so the paed is apparently still only involved due to my concerns...so am not really sure whether the school are suppoting me yet.
One thing that has changed is how I feel about the behaviour etc...i followed one of you advise to stop interogating ds2 as to warnings at school- unless the teacher tells me then i will not be ruining the time i have at home by getting cross about what's going on in school- they don't get cross with the child if something goes wrong at home!!!!I feel stronger and taller in the playground now!!!!!(but i still arrive at 8.45 with wet hair...either that or it would be greasy!!)