If I had a £ for every time I've said.....

[Triggles]

• sit up
• sit down (sounds a bit conflicting, eh? )
• stop shouting
• don't hit your brother
• stop taking toys from your brother
• stop screaming
• stop jumping on the furniture
• stop climbing
• eat your food
• sit still
• listen to me
• stop asking me that

..... ........

I'd be very very rich.
Is it possible to have a meter installed for this?

Keep the bath water in the bath.
Stop running the taps.
Stop opening the drawers/doors
Stop chewing your books/toys/clothes.

I could go on :)

Reading this gave me a good laugh and cheered me up when I was feeling really depressed. Thanks a lot :) oh btw, I say all those and many more...

yup......
one foot...other foot
flush..wash hands...dry hands
head up (when trying to brush hair - clean teeth -wipe face etc)
and lots of the ones posted already........
but - DS repeats more than me
when I strap him in his car seat ,before I've even got in the car he says 'music on,music on '(the same tape(yes,tape !) every time) and now he repeats the answer with me 'yeah,yeah,yeah. !'

Any one else have 'don't drink the bath water!'?

No I have "dont feed the dog the bath water" LOL

Oh yes,SIGN....every night (as he's throwing jugs full of water over his head)

Oh yes, don't drink the bath water! Every bath time!

And don't eat the sponge...!

oh goodness yes, don't drink the bathwater... along with

-keep the water IN the tub
-don't pour water on your brother's head
-don't pull the towel into the water
-don't pull out the plug
-don't play with the taps
-yes you DO need your hair washed
-yes you DO need to be washed down
-sit down in the tub
-stop throwing bath toys or I'll take them all away
-yes you DO have to get out of the bath now

and that is why we have showers here lol....hes not allowed to touch (and cant quite reach) the shower head, and usually ends up sat down in the bath anyway. its so much easier....although our biggest issue with the shower is the trauma it takes to get him IN IT. not becuase he doesnt want one, not becuase hes unco-operative with it for a change...but becuase no matter how flippin cold we have it it is ALWAYS too hot!! WTF???? if either of us got in it we would freeze our nipples off, but not DS noooooo......"ITS TOO HOT MUMMY!!!!!"
hahahahahahahahaha :D

Put it back..........
Put it back.........
Put it back..........

Coat on, coat on, coat on................

followed by

coat off
coat off
COAT OFF

DS id 13
take your hands out of your pants
do you need the toilet
why didn't you tell us you needed the toilet
stop doing that (channel hopping)
stop watching shopping channels
give me the remote
Stop it (general)
Stop talking about river song
river song is not a real person
stop climbing on mummy/stop using mummy to lean on whenever you walk past
finish your drink
stop that honking (nose blowing noisily for hours on end)
No I don't have a willy....you know what ladies have....no you can't have a look
no you cannot pull all the hairs off your willy

lol!

DON'T lick the lampost
Don't lick the bin
Get your mouth off the plate
Stop slapping your face/pulling your hair/punching your brother
Please find something DIFFERENT to wear!
No, Simples can't come to the
Take Simples out of your pocket
Please get off my dressing gown

starfishmummy

oh my... do you know that I fully realised that DS2 is going to have difficulties and need support and assistance all his life... but seeing you say your DS is 13 it actually occurred to me that I'm still going to be saying these same things YEARS from now!

That's it... I'm recording them all...

I don't ing mine knows what a willie is! It's interesting bout the leaning thing, I assumed that was physical rather than asd.

Crying with laughter here-all so familiar.
DH and myself when we take DS swimming:
" Don't eat the float"
"Give me the float"
"Take the float out of your mouth"
I know we could leave the float at home, but it makes all 3 of us laugh, the rest of the swimmers think we're loons.

:o forgotten don't drink the bath water/swimming pool water. yuck

Also don't drink the water butt water.

no you can't have a
No i wasn't in World War 2
I have never played Sonic Riders
Stop picking you nose
Stop shouting at me
Green voice please (Rainbow colous - red is loudest)
Stop screaming while I wash your hair
Stop screaming while I trim your nails
Stop telling your little brother to ask for stuff for you
Stop asking me questions about Hungarian Co Co Pops adverts
Stop TAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLKKKKKKKKKKKKKKIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNG !!!!!!

EVERY day

DS "can I watch this?"
Me "no"
DS "is it a PG?"
Me "no its at least a 15"
DS "Why?"
Me "its too violent"
DS "mummmmmmmmmm its only tomatoe sauce"
ME "no you are not watching it"
DS "have you seen it?"
Me "yes it is no good for you"
DS "what happens in it?"
Me "I cant tell you"
DS "why?"
Me Because it is a 15 and if you cant watch it I cant tell you about it either other than it is too scary for DS"
DS "what happens in the end?"
Me I cant tell you
DS Why?
Me repeats it is a 15 blah blah
DS When can I watch it?
Me when you are 15
DS DOH!!........followed by silence..........new film clip pops up.........

DS MUM? "can I watch this?"

ME here we go again "ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhgggggg!

Same goes for cinema posters, game adverts, video stores, book stores

Above is from a child who because I wasnt thinking straight I said I had left my brain on my pillow this morning was immediately followed by "AWSOME!!!! can I go look!!" and runs upstairs

Coff33pot LMAO!!!!

love the brain on your pillow!! hahaha

My DS looks at DVD's now and checks the "number"....if its 1,2,3,4,5,6,7 or 8 he knows he can watch it....or if its got letters instead of numbers (hopefully he wont find an X-rated one one day hahaha)

We have a similar conversation when DS is asking what a film trailer/advert etc "number" is lol....

and DAMN youtube!!! hahaha....how many times can i say

"no DS that film isnt coming soon. It was actually out 3 years ago..." hahahaha

Put the dog down
leave the dog alone
the dog growling at you is not good
stop shouting
stop screaming
Who is in charge here?
you are a child - I am the adult
No its not your turn in the front of the car
Take turns
Share

My favourite - my brain hurts and I can't listen to you anymore!

"That's Mummy's iPad, leave it"...6 million squillion times a day
But he's obviously being taught the art of sharing at nursery, because he always replys "shaaaaare"!