Right, sorry guys for the self-pitying post. I nearly let the situation grind me down, but I'm back fighting. What a difference 2 hours can make...
Firstly, the nurse came in and said they were ready for Beatrice in Fluroscopy, so I could take her down for another chance at passing the tube. I'd just got her in her buggy when I heard a familiar 'Hello Mummy!' from around the curtain. My dh had turned up unannounced (he was meant to be in bed, ready to start work at 10pm) with dds1 and 2 and my mum. 
He also brought me my laptop, with an internet dongle and my collection of Gavin and Stacey DVDs and Christmas With The Kranks (my guarenteed feel-good film...) 
So, we went down to radiology and this time the consultant passed the tube successfully, so we brought her back up and she is now snoozing away, comfortable with her milk. Her temp had crept up to 38.9 earlier so they've started her on a treatment does of antibiotics, but I'm hoping a lot of that was discomfort from having no milk.
I enjoyed playing with the girls, and the dinner lady gave them some tea so mum and I popped out to the restaurant to get a take away shepherds pie- rock and roll food.
So here we are, I've put my bed down and I'm in my pj's and will soon start a DVD session I guess.
I can explain now I have my laptop what happened to land us back in here...
On Thursday, I went into work for a couple of hours of INSET, whilst dh took Beatrice to the hospice and left her at 5pm. I started my journey to the hospice at 5.30pm and had only just got onto the dual carriageway when I received a call from the hospice. They told me that Beatrice had vomited and was struggling to recover, so they believed she had aspirated. They told me an ambulance was on its way and to make my way to A&E. At this point I was an hour's drive away 
I rang dh and told him to turn around and go back. Eventually, I arrived at A&E, completely disorientated as I'd never been there before. I asked to be taken to Beatrice and expected them to lead me to a side cubicle. However, they took me into the resuscitation room 
There on the bed was my tiny baby girl, surrounded by 7 members of staff, a nurse from the hospice and dh, who had only arrived 10 minutes previously due to traffic. I was horrified to see she was thrashing about with an o2 mask on her face as they tried to put an IV into her. At the time I arrived, they were on attempt number 8 and were about to put in an Inter Osseo line, into the bone.
I began asking questions, lots of questions. They didn't like that! I asked why she was on a mask and not her o2 prongs, and they told me it was because she couldn't cope without it. When I asked if they'd tried, I was ignored. Just then, I heard one doctor say to another, 'That's it, we need to get ready to intubate.' At that, I saw red. I was completely and utterly devestated. I explained in no uncertain terms that they were NOT going to put my baby on a ventilator, that they had been incredibly heavy handed. I asked again if they would take the o2 mask off and just give her a chance, for crying out loud. The doctor (a lovely yound Scottish man) said to the team, 'Right, they don't teach this in medical school, but let's just take a step back, withdraw intervention and allow mum to hold baby'.So I picked Beatrice up and whispered some comfort into her tiny, confused ears. And wouldn't you know? Even without o2 prongs, her sats climbed back up to 97% and her heartrate slowly dropped.
The medical team all looked a bit confused, 'But she was presenting as being gravely ill, her limbs had gone stiff and her veins were shutting down'. Yes, she has arthrogyposis (stiffness) and she only has one good vein at the best of time!! At this point, the lovely nurse from the hospice confirmed, 'She's a Helen House baby- our children prefer cuddles to needles'- Amen to that.
So, I have made it my top priority to pass on Beatrice's personal resuscitation plan to the A&E team here so we are all singing from the same hymn sheet. I fully accept that they were only following the correct protocol for a healthy baby. Unfortunately, that could have devestating effects on a baby like Beatrice.
So, we spent Thursday night in CHDU, and last night here on the ward. I assume that all being well, she will be discahrged tomorrow. I certainly hope so, as I have lots to prepare for Tea For Bea on Tuesday! The hospice has said we can recoveer these lost nights of respite later this week, if we like.
Thanks once again for being with me and reminding me that even if I am feeling desperate, I'm never alone.