when does a tantrum become a meltdown and when does a routine become an obsession?

[misdee]

dd2 has bee in pre-school since sept. she always brings home a drawing, usually a skribble then she folds the picture in half and cuts lines into it. Anyway, to today, dd2 didnt do a picture, no idea why. but she had a full on tantrum, threw herself on the floor screaming (i heard it outside the door which was locked) and kicking. i was slightly late so no idea how long it had been happening.

so when does routine become obsession, and when is a tantrum a meltdown?

I think that this one is hard to say, but I would imagine that context might be the key.

Dd is NT and had tantrums that were melt downs....some could last 2 hours. This happened from when she was 1 to just about 6. Sometimes I didn't even know what had sparked it. But when I did it was a 'normal' trigger IYSWIM.

I think you have to look at why she had the tantrum and to try to put it in context? (please excuse me, sn mums if I am talking through my arse)

And at her worst, dd was having tantrums daily, sometimes several times a day. for you, it is bloody grim

she was still upset when she came out, so much so that i couldnt understand what she wanted.

dd1 still holds the record in this house for a major tantrum, over 4hours with a nap inbetween.

she did tell me that it was because she hadnt done a picture btw.

4 hours! Thank god you can smile about it!

it was hilarious. it started when we were out shopping, she wanted a dummy, i didnt have one (she was about 2.5yrs old i think), and so it started. all the way home, in the flat, she fell asleep on her bedroom screaming, woke up and carried on. i just tuned it out.

dd would follow me round and round the house, dropping to the floor in each room, I'd calmly exit and she would get up, follow me, drop and start all over again.

Bloody good job we love then eh?

things become an obsession in this house very quickly, do something the same way more than once and its an obsession, cups have to be a certain colour,and in a certain position, e.g on the left side of plate but must be touching the plate,left sock has to be put on before the right, the list is endless.

DS2 has tantrums- shouting, lying down, the works but I always feel I can deal with it and that it is transient. DS1 has meltdowns- screaming, terrible haunting 'laughing', attacking people and me, strange dancing movements- I always feel I can't deal with it and he pays no attention to anything I say .

I dont know, my husband has been known to tantrum for some time and meltdown afterwards when he cant get what he wants. I have seen "nt" kids do the tantrum thing all the time. I dont worry about it much seeing as i generally have a way to deal with what is causing the tantrum but i am sure it cant be too pleasant.

your husband? really?

Uh, yeah! not too uncommon either in the male species.