I have no understanding of this

[TheOriginalFAB]

My son is 10 and we have had to remove him from school because of continuing bullying and 2 physical attacks by a boy is is statemented. The school will not exclude him. They will send him home a few minute early when the helper also leaves but reckon they can monitor him all the time he is at school, ie right next to him. No one was next to him when we saw him this morning. Why is it that his right to an education comes before my son's right not to be physically attacked at school? I really do not understand it.

My other son has additional needs but was dealth with swiftly and fairly when he pushed a child over. This boy has hurt my son much more seriously and yet we have had to take our child out because they say they can't remove the child who is volatile and unpredictable.

I just do not understand it and I am devastated that my child has to change schools now.

", instead of what you seem to have done which is mutter about it, complain in vague terms to the teacher and deputy, and then got indignant that 'nothing has been done!'"

This is just not true and very unfair of you to say so.

I don't think that children just asking your dd why he ahs gone / when he will go is anything other than children being children tvh, their attention spans are small, they rarely eman anything by it. If you pick up on small stuff- and really that is- then you risk giving them ways of justifying the big things to themselves- it's not us, it's her'.

I would give it a few months with the school move: kids do well on basic meals but private schools often come with +++++++ costs (sister just bought basic uniform for her ds starting school- £600! Wow!). I know one school that charges 22p for every pieve of paper used in art. Hecke ven the local comp costs £1000's to do the more popular add ons (let alone the skiiing / private music etc- kids cost: private school is fine but I have watched a family disintegrate under the strain of funding schooling after an income cut and it did not end well.

Something else I have handled wrong. Bugger.

I still say the bully laughing in her face is not on.

Oh Fab.
It isn't about what you have done or not done is it?

It is not about going over what has happened to decide who is right and who is wrong.

What matters is your children and what is in their best interests.

Private school is not just about the basic fees. I have just spent £30 on the new compulsory jumper, £50 on a team leotard as dd got in the gym team, £35 on the matching Hackett which is also compulsory for gym meets and photos, £6.50 for her to attend the ceilidh in a few weeks. Those are off the top of my head in the last two weeks.

I think you should follow the process and see if this situation can be saved by insisting that the governors, Lea force the school to protect your child.

As long as you are fixed upon the idea that this boy is 'getting away with it' and it isn't fair, you will make little progress.

It isn't fair. But you need to be clear headed rather than indignant. Take a deep breath. Phone the Lea. Phone every day. Write. Copy everything. Or win the lottery.

The money is sorted to put all the kids in the independent school.

I hated leaving my children at school today and had to contend with the same mother and the kids laughing and glaring at me again.

I just feel like I have failed my children.

Oh good then.
From your comments "fuck knows how we will pay for it" and "the kids will be alright on basic food" I thought it was a problem.

I would move on then.

I will be tough but we can borrow some of the inlaws but we will still have to tighten our budget. I didn't know until 2 hours ago that DH's parents could help us.

It, not I.

Good news then.

Speak to the school about the extras to get a ball park. Check what the fee increases are each year and factor that in as it can be quite a shock as they move through school, because you don't want to get caught out and have to move them again.
It is tough. Dh and I winced often when we had two in private school and we are pretty well off tbh.

But that looks like the best result.

On paper DH earns a good wage but there is never anything left. We will have 3 there. One for 1 year, one for 3 and one for 5 years minimum.

Look into sibling discounts and bursaries - they may make allowances for 3 children bringing your net income total down - also any secondhand uniform sales 9they may even gvie you one off access as a starter). What will you do next year with ds though, is it realistic for him to get a secondary place away from the buillies ?

The uniform is half proce at the moment so that will help but for one it was £300. Thankfully my MIL has said she wants to pay for it. Now we potentially have 3 going we would not expect her to pay for all three.

The bullies all failed their 11+ so no problmes there as they won't be going to the Grammar school.

Turns out it was half price on line and that isn't the official so we went to the shop and have just spent £358 on most of it. Still need to get him trainers and football boots and maybe a new school bag. I will be labelling it all later and have to go back next week to pick up the stuff that wasn't ready/in stock.

I have just found something out that has confirmed we made the right decison deciding to move DS1, but I feel sad too. The child who has been violent to my child has hurt another child last week. Either they decided not to bother with the constant supervision as DS1 has left, or else it has not worked as we felt it wouldn't.