Fuming with my boss.

[Lolaismyfavouriteandmybest]

dd is 5 and has a diagnosis of ASd. she is also partially sighted. (I'm also disabled)

Work are making me travel next week and I will be away for 9 days and will miss two complete weekends so I've asked for 2 days off afterwards (paid as I have no holiday left thanks to hospital appointments) to spend with dd and explained that she finds it very hard when I am away, that she gets extremely anxious and that her anxiety is evident already in her behaviour (she having tantrums over the slightest things and is smashing things up)

my boss's response was "well I would nip that in the bud" about her behaviour followed by "there are some very intellegent children without special needs who are just spoilt"

He has never met dd but in the past has made comments like "her Autism can't be that bad" when I asked for time off to take an autism parenting class (he made me take complete days unpaid to attend a 2h class) He's such a F**ing arse!

Aint it great how having his wife at home full time to look after his 2 NT kids makes him such a fantastic expert on jugling a career and the needs of a youg SN child!

Sorry. Just needed to rant. No-one here understands.......

OK flexible working regulations mean that you have a few rights. ie you can ASK for flexible working arrangements till your child is 18 instead of school age. Have a word with HR.

Do you HAVE to travel? What happens if you say you can't do it without the time off to settle your child afterwards? Do you have the option to discreetly look for another job?

The dick is making me take it unpaid. Nice. I need another job.

You must work at the same place as me...

I had flexible working to work from home for one day a week for just over a year. I had to cancel it when my husband lost his job last year as we needed the money (he's a student now) Work seem to be of the opinion that i used up all my good will by working flexibly (I wore myself into the ground doing a full time job in 4 days!) and that now I'm full time again I should need no more extra time off.

The thing is I want to travel occasionally (it's only once or twice a year) as it is necessary to allow me to do my job well. And we can cope at home so long as I have the opportunity to give dd lots of reassurance before and AFTER my trip.

I blew my last days holiday on a job interview but unfortunately didn't get it. but believe me I'm looking.....

Your boss is a charmer, eh? [anger]
Surely if you travel on days you wouldn't normally work you're entitled to time off in lieu?

rather than [anger], obvs! The internet is not my friend today...

What an ass

Then again met that type before hence I now work for myself. Lot less money but flexible where my kids are concerned.

If you are away two whole weekends surely that would be 4 days he actually owed you???

This is unacceptable practice Lola.
Refer to the many acts for carers in employment. You have lots of rights which your boss clearly has no idea about. I will mention Sharon Coleman as a case in point. Google her!
She was in a similar position and took her employers (solicitors no less) to court in Europe where she won her case hands down for unfair discrimination by association- it is not written up in the amended Social security act (2006 I think or thereabouts, might be later)

You don't have to put up wit this treatment, simple as that.

This is very familiar at the moment. Im facing having to cut my hours in half and rely on benefits because my boss doesn't understand why I can't just get a childminder for ds (who has autism). She's made a very similar comment like "it's not that bad is it?" Its so hard juggling work and childcare anyway let alone for a child with SN, no wonder people stop working.

It's in my contract that there will be a requirement for occasional travel and that no time in lieu is owed for missed evenings/weekends. I'm guessing that negates my rights?

What I mind most is that I'm kicking my heels for an extra day after I finish to save the company money. So instead of getting back on Saturday evening I get back on Sunday evening. Well I'm not doing that again that's for sure!

unfortunately employers are only obliged to offer you flexible working, they do not have to pay for additional time off over & above your holiday entitlement if it is not in your standard terms & conditions.
It is worth checking your contract and the company policy & general terms & conditions covering carers absence & parental leave.
Also it is worth checking if other people have been granted paid leave in similar circumstances, if so you may be able to "negotiate" paid leave on equality grounds as they cannot treat one employee more or less favourably than another employee.
Also keep a note of all the inappropriate comments, you neer know if it gets out of hand you may need to refere to earlier comments.
Your boss sounds like a complete arse, good luck!