AIBU in HATING the term "SN top trumps"?

[Dillydaydreaming]

Seriously people - don't use it as it's just horrible. This should be a supportive board for those of us who are coping with children whose development does not fit "the norm" in some way or other - life is hard enough without dissolving into bitching and topping on here as well.

Nuff said - am off to sort out DS.

That is awful, havent seen anything like that. Don't blame you.

It is really , to read a thread like this.

I have had great support from everyone on here and would have hoped that so did many others.

We are on here to get support and to support each other. If anyone around doesn't want to do that then they should stay away.

We do not need trouble makers, most of us have enough to deal with everyday as it is.

really not seen it on here, there was a major blip a few months back, which meant some older SN posters fled to a private FB group but nice to see a few back

and anyways we are all big girls and boys here, well most of us
cant like everyone in life

i don't want to go into what happened to make me feel this way, lets just say it involved someone from the sn topic, name changing and hounding me off the topic.
yes a lot of people did leave (and stay left, if that is even english lol) me included.

ah so sevenfold, think i might know who you are now, but could be wrong.
Its a real shame, really do miss the oldies, say hi to them for me.

I think top trumps generally comes out in MN main boards but has popped up here in the past.

T'is 5ITB :)

I have received loads of excellent advice from the Sn pages, don't get me wrong, but it was sould destroying getting belittled like I did.

Back on subject, I hate the term SN top trumps, sounds so bloody awful.

Oh dear. I have been known to say that we don't do SN top trumps on this board. Perhaps it would be better not to use it even like that. I have heard a lot about some unpleasant threads on SN on the main board, but in the time I've been here, only since January, I've never seen anything (except maybe once or twice) but supportive threads. I certainly feel supported and feel I can be completely honest. I don't agree with everyone's views but they don't usually get nasty. There are a few 'robust' debates that go on, but they don't seem like bullying to me.

For me with any internet community it is just a snapshot of people and sen is the same, from reading the pages of threads parents who use the site need help with generally education, statements, getting a dx, DLA, and all that entails and while reading these you get to learn knowledge it becomes clear that not a lot of parents of children with severe and profound difficulties use these boards. So I do find it hard when I read a post that seem to speak for a whole community when we are all just a small part. Everyone should be able to ask a question.

Ellen, you said something very similar to me after one of my first posts but you meant it in a very kind way, as in never feel you can't post, and I have never forgotten it actually, as otherwise I may have gone back to lurking PDQ!

I've seen some robust exchanges of views, and have been put back in my box for generalising, but don't generally think there's much trouble here. As someone else said, who has the energy for that? But if people have felt unsupported then that's not right.

Yes squid and then it becomes a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy, because parents of children with less severe/profound difficulties feel less 'qualified' (for want of a better word) to offer advice, so those threads get fewer responses and then people post less, etc etc. I am guilty of clicking on threads and thinking 'I don't know anything about that' and then not responding. I don't think it's particularly helpful to do a 'I can't help but wanted to say hi' type post, although I do sometimes.

You are right, Wilson. If people have felt unsupported and bullied, that is terrible. This is supposed to be a supportive and compassionate board. I, for one, try to ensure that I only post in that vein, (apart from slagging off my ex, of course )

Oops, cross post!

at Ellen.

Wilson completely agree, I am not qualified to post on most threads but sometimes feel like I should say something if it's a slow time and theres no responses.

Maybe we could make more of an effort with 'Friday night too tired' or start a mass de-lurking campaign or something? But then you don't want to clutter up the board with lots of chat-type stuff either.

SN Top Trumps?......horrible unecessary term to use.

I havent been here long either but the time I have been here I have found it a great informative and caring place. We all have children with SN of varying degrees yes but there is one major thing that we have in common and that is we ALL have worries, concerns and ups and downs. So regardless of the degree of SN our worries to us are major. Anything can upset a mum from billy stubbing his toe and having a tantrum to something more heartbrakingly serious and it is not for us to sit back an judge levels or scales of seriousness. At the exact time of a woman posting it is BIG to them.

I havent seen "competition" on whos child has what. I have only seen support and great advice or suggestions. I do tend to stay out of posts I know nothing about or cant help with. To be honest I am a greenie and dont know a lot But one thing I do know that links us all here on this section is that NONE of us wanted SN in our lives and so to use the term "top trumps" is LOW

Got to add apart from Ellen who used it in the right context

Okay I am back, it's silly o clock and I am awake.
To clarify, I have seen the term used here twice in recent weeks and found it upsetting.

All of our children are special, all have their own specific challenges. Life is hard enough - My son has high functioning ASD & ADHD, he is a challenge by busy roads. Other children might have significant mobility problems and their parents cope with different issues.

This board should be there for all - and I am so pleased to read that people HAVE found good support here. Let's keep it that way.

It doesn't bother me, tbh.

It's not particularly ghastly in itself; it's just describing a certain type of behaviour; when it's justified, it's fair comment. And when it's not justified, it's nasty.

I think the real problem, and a recurring problem for this topic, is that the system trains us to fight, and to believe to our last breath that we are morally right and the other person is wrong. Or how would we be able to face getting out of bed every morning? But though that makes us incredibly supportive when we agree with each other, when we do properly disagree it can get messy, because both sides are absolutely convinced they have undisputed sole rights to the moral high ground. "Let's agree to disagree" isn't something I often hear on MNSN.