It's starting to happen

[TalesOfTheUnexpected]

I have SN boys, 6 yrs old, (in SN school. They are partially sighted, GDD, one being tested for Autism - same one also has leukaemia).

I have a NT daughter (8). Took my 3 kids, plus 2 neighbours kids who are in my daughters class, to a birthday party last weekend.

Apparently one of the kids I gave a lift to has taken the p*ss out of my boys today, saying how babyish he was and how the way he talked and sang was funny. It was dealt with by the class teacher apparently and I'm hoping the situation is just a 'one day wonder' but I'm incredibly sad.

I know, kids are cruel. Kids will be kids. Kids don't understand what they are saying may be hurtful but to see my daughter upset makes me want to storm in all guns blazing...but I won't.

It must have been a bit of an incident because a few people have contacted me since the end of the school day to say did I know my daughter had been upset.

My boys have got a lifetime of this sort of thing happening. I guess the first instance has just hit me hard.

I need to toughen up. This is a pity post. No reply necessary.

we had our first instance in nursery.

i am appalled that this happened to dd though.
i think i would go in and discuss - it's important to know that it has been dealt with appropriately. particularly because you have been contacted by other parents.

how is dd now?

My daughter has just turned 8. I can't believe how upset I am. I knew this would happen at some stage but it hurts.

If I'm calm in the morning, I will probably ask for the teachers perspective.

Thanks for replying and not telling me I'm over-reacting.

So sorry Tales.

May I ask you a question though?

DS has autism and is due to start reception in January. There is a girl in this class that is very visibly disabled, almost completely blind, walks with a frame etc but with acute hearing.

Her mother got hold of all the email addresses of all the parents and emailed a bit about her and her condition.

I am TERRIFIED that when ds starts, having had no experience of this girl or others like her that he will say something that a)she hears and is upset by and b)that requires the teachers to make an example of him when due to his social communication disorder he won't understand why he is in trouble or possibly be prevented from getting it wrong again.

Do you think the mother would be okay if I emailed her later this term and explained and asked her if she could perhaps send a photo of her daughter perhaps and then meet up with her so that she and ds could meet before school, or do you think that she would be offended?

Starlight I think that's a lovely idea. She has 'opened the door' by e-mailing you and other parents. I would do as you think and have a little meet up if you can. We know we can't control what goes on at school, but it may help if any misunderstandings occur.

To be fair, the kids involved have met my sons before but it's just now that there has been an incident. Like I said, kids will be kids and hopefully it will blow over. I'm more upset than my daughter, lol (but I've not let her know that).

I shall smile sweetly at the other childrens parents tomorrow unless it becomes a recurrent issue. That's my take on it anyway.

madwomanintheattic Just re-read and saw you asked "how is DD now", not "how old" . I was crying before. Sorry. DD is fine. Reading her book and waiting for me to tuck her up at 8.30.

Best wishes. x

dd will be okay, you know. my dd1 (nt) was elected as class president and school council etc on an equality/ inclusion ticket siblings do ok, and they do learn how to deal with ignorance in their peer group.

star, i would e-mail the parent too - she is just sharing details of her dd's condition, so there should be no problem with you sharing details of ds's?

i think that often, comments about disability etc aren't a problem - often they can be used to clear up misconceptions etc. it's when kids are deliberately cruel and unkind that it becomes difficult. and hopefully the school will be on the ball with ds and will be able to put in the explanations when he needs them?

So sorry you're having a rough time, I'm afraid I have not gfod advice or experiences to share but just wanted to let you know you don't have to worry about pity posts, it's good to get it out :)

Thank you all. I am a lot calmer now.

I think part of the problem is my daughter goes to a totally different school than my sons, so it's very rare that her classmates see them or are aware of non NT children.

The hurt is subsiding and my daughter seems ok. Thanks to your comments, I can go to bed knowing I'm not being a total loon.