to let stim or not

[Spiraling]

This is causing a problem!
Ds dx at 4. Since starting school now in year 1. his need for running on the spot, large swinging arm moments, licking, kissing, singing odd songs, generally lots of quirky moments, when excited rubbing hands together under hisni chin. and more...

DH, never read up on asd or any interest in the condition. Does not accept any of these quirks and its my bad parenting that is letting him get away with it. I agree some has to be modified but it is there for a reason or will it go with constant prompting or transform to somethintg else. Just not sure what to do on this one.

who is it causing a problem for? i would tend to try to minimise stims that negatively affect other people, or could hurt himself (we have one boy who smacks his chin until it bleeds). is there a less 'impactful' stim that you can introduce in it's place?

if they are just excited type movements or noises, i wouldn't worry too much. does he have a TA that looks for triggers or checks to see if he's getting overwhelmed?

social stores about kissing might be a good start if he is becoming intrusive? to teach him to react/ show affection in a different way?

I do not worry to much about it. I think this is th problem ds is getting mixed messages, as when with me i tend to ignore it unless it is causing a problem. But dh will not tolerate any so does not allow him to any actions. I cannot get through to dh that ds should be allowed to as not causing harm, bar it's annoying.

The thing is it almost seems const these days, i do not know if he is doing it at school or it is a release at home. I guess i wish dh would accept it. Ds is pretty amazing and doing really well and has come such a long way in a short time, I just feel he needs a break rather than const seemingly in trouble. For something i think he cannot control or i'm wondering can he.