Want to me meet other mums in my position

[Rosiek87]

Hey everyone, well im new to all this so bare with me.

My son was diagnosed with autism in dec 2010. Im still finding it difficult to adjust and haven't got anyone to talk to as there not in the same position.

x

Hi Rosiek87 and welcome to Mumsnet. You will find lots of friendly people and helpful advice on here, as well as many parents with DC's diagnosed with ASD who will be able to relate to your concerns about adjusting to an autism diagnosis.

How old is your little one? I am just starting down the diagnostic route with my nearly 3 year old and can certainly empathise about not having anyone in real life to talk to about my worries. As you say, people cannot really understand unless they are in the same position.

What is is that you're finding most difficult at the moment?

He is 4 and we are just going down the route of getting a statement for when he starts next year.

I find all the different proffessionals involved a little to much at times. And very frustraiting because they tell u whats best to do in different situations. I feel very taken over from raising my own son. Finding it difficult to not over welm him with words and instructions and very hard accepting lifes gonna be different from all the other children around us.

Yes, it is definately hard when you fell the "professionals" are trying to take over. There are lots of people on here who have felt the same. The thing is, he is your son and you are quite at liberty to take or leave what the professionals say to you or even decide whether you want their intervention or not. As much as they think they know best, none of them can know him like you do and you are the best person to decide what is in his best interests.
Who is involved with him at the moment?

As far as accepting that life's going to be different, well to be honest I'm still trying to get my head round that one as well. I look at my two older children and see how different my youngest is and I do worry about the future. I guess it helps to know there are others in the same boat.

Hello Rosie,

My dd was also dx with autism late 2010, she too is 4 and has recently started primary school-I was lucky to get a 30 hr statement in place ready for school - though getting the school to understand her and her needs seems to be a little more challenging and we are only on week two.
There are lots of fab knowledgable people on here who are always ready to help.

Hi Rosie, welcome to Mumsnet! My DS2 has Aspergers and I've found the SEN board really helpful, and it is a great place to come where you know others will understand what you are going through. I agree with what Zen said - the professionals are there to help (hopefully!) but ultimately you know your son best and you are the best person to know what will help you and him. Have you been on the National Autistic Society's website? There is lots of information on there, plus lots of books and leaflets you can get (many of the leaflets are free and really useful). You can also find out what's going on in your area on their website - it really does vary a lot from place to place.

Hi Rose welcome to Mumsnett

The SN board is a good place to be for advice and the odd shoulder to cry on when needs be.

My DS is 6 and we are still on the road to a final dx and still waiting for statement.

Coming to terms with things is hard. I have two NT children and it hurts to see the gap getting bigger and bigger with his peers as compared to my other two. But he is still lovely and all I have to do is accept that its going to be rocky and be there for him when he falls

welcome Rosie, have you tried your local support group?
we are a friendly bunch here too, its a hard road to travel and nice to have company on the way :)

Thanks everyone for your replys

I dont have a local support group which i think is terrible! But apparently there just wasnt enough people attending

is there nothing at all!! thats terrible, we have 3 or four here!

Nope nothing :/ well that i know of. Maybe just not very well advertised

well you will just have to rant at us then

Lol thanks. Its more the feeling i have like life isnt fair. Even tho i know im luck to have him and he is an amazing little boy. No one ever thinks having a baby will lead to disabilitys or anything you just never think of it

Where are you (vaguely) in the country Rosie - someone might be able to hook up with you.

Th other thing you can do is give a professional you trust your phone number/email address and ask them to pass the number in to someone in a similar situation. Is early ire offered in your area? Another good way to meet people.

im in wiltshire

I'm not to far from there depending on which side you are

Hi Rosie,
I know exactly what you mean about wanting someone to talk to about it all. I find myself being a bit of an autism bore to my friends (I've no idea if they think this is the case or not) as it has taken over our lives.

I think I just want someone who knows what it is like and has a similar child to listen and share thoughts with. It's kind of people with NT children to say "oh yes, mine does that too" but I feel so awful and ungrateful when all I'm thinking is "no, yours doesn't do that"

It is easy to feel very isolated even when with friends.