Is anyone's DC like mine?

[MunchkinsMumof2]

Hi, I am feeling very alone in coming to terms with my 5yo ds's issues for want of a better word. He is 5 but has been assessed as being 3 and to quote the SLT he has "significant receptive and expressive language, attention and listening and social communication difficulties, which will impact on his school life and ability to make and maintain friendships"

I don't have anyone to talk to who has any understanding of my ds and I don't know where to turn to. He is being assessed by an ASD specialist as well as a SLT specialist but not until the end of September.

Any advice would be gratefully received as I am very upset today, thank you Munchkins.

Hi and welcome. You are not alone now you have come here

Talk all you like as there are plenty of us in the same boat and it is good to write things down if you are at a low ebb.

My son is 6yrs and being assessed for AS. He has full speach but in an eccentric way. along with social communication & behavioural difficulties and attention and anxiety issues. Its good that your DS is getting specialist help but I know its hell playing the waiting game x

Lots of children get written off like this when they are on the autistic spectrum. Don't be dragged down by it. Things may be very difficult but with the right help and support from a loving, caring mother, they can still have happy and successful lives. For example there is a lady called Temple Grandin who was written off like this as a child. She is now in her 60s, has a PhD and has spent her life advocating for autism.

There is a forum dedicated to people with autistic spectrum disorders and their parents and families. They have been an invaluable support to me as I've come to terms with mine and my daughter's diagnosis. www.wrongplanet.net/

Thank you Coff33pot, I think I feel so sad because I am just leaving the denial phase into the reality / acceptance phase and I do feel truly alone and fairly desperate about him. I fell down the stairs when I was pregnant and have this horrible sadness that all of his problems are my fault. I don't know if he will ever have a 'normal' life and it is breaking my heart.

His issues are that he doesn't have conversations with anyone or interact properly. He doesn't ask for anything or have any need to have friends, he just needs his family. He hits out at school and has been kicked, knocked over and bitten there. He is not aware of anything going on around him and is in his own world. He will answer questions and has learnt his numbers / letters / colours and shapes ok but he wont hold a pencil or attempt to read anything. He is essentially happy but very young for his age.

Of course he will have a normal life. You will make sure he does
Its natural to feel like this. You falling down the stairs wouldnt have caused all his issues. He just needs that little bit of an extra boost in life thats all.

Has he got help at school? Have you applied for a statement yet? That could get him more doors opened for proffessionals to help him.

He is having 1-1 TA all day in Year 1 and we will get a Statement after he has been assessed. I am usually an upbeat positive person but getting the SLT report today has really knocked me. He is very loved and very lovable with a cheeky sense of humour and I am ok when I don't let all my worries take over. Thank you for your kind words and guidance, they have helped.

Ds is neaerly 12 (asd , dyspraxic) and at SS please dont feel so bad it does get better or let them write him off like that.

my ds is mentally about 7 still but he is improving and will continue to do so as will your ds just at a slower rate.
take time to reflect and then begin your plan of statement, official dx (not that you need this but it does open doors/ access help for ds) and therapies ect

there are help groups out there check out NAS site and your local parent support group as this helps you with whats going on locally and they have talks , advice and friendship with like minded people

If you need any help with the school or lea try Parent partnership , snap or a mediator,

then theres if you need it DLA you can look into as well

come back here and you will get lots of advice on reading material and other advice on products and just friendly support

try and stay upbeat its not all bad your dc is the same as he always was a lovely lad im sure , and look on the lovely aspects not the bad filling out all these forms and constantly talking and reading negative things about your ds does make you feel its bleak but it truly isnt , hth

Thank you Vinnie, It is good talking to people who understand and have practical ideas to help. I will look at the NAS site and get some books. My ds is a lovely boy and you are right about focusing on that as being negative wont help anyone. Thanks again all, Munchkins

MunchkinsMumof2

"significant receptive and expressive language, attention and listening and social communication difficulties,

There are two issue on your list which you list are potential disabilities or disorders which can sbe contributory cause the other issues.

Auditory Processing Disorder (APD) is a listening disability, or not being able to process all that you hear, which can affect speech development. And Attentional Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) problems with attention, working memory, and the ability to concentrate. Both of these disabilities can combine with other cognitive problems to cause the behavioral traits which can form the criteria for an Autistic Spectrum Disorder diagnosis. But is is possible to have both APD and ADHD and not qualify to be ASD.

Hi Munchkin
Sounds like you're grieving at the moment, perfectly normal and natural reaction.
Has your son been tested for anything specific and are you getting some help?
Try to remember he is still your son, the disability comes second to that.

I also fell down the stairs at 7.5 months pregnant (broke my flipping ankle) carrying my older SLD son and I can assure you it is not that which has caused your sons difficulties.

Keep talking on here. Everyone is very understanding and you're not alone sweetheart.

Hi muchkinsmumof2 - this is fairly similar to the post I sent last a week - most of the same people came back to advise me too - and I can say I feel so much better than I did last week. My ds 6, was dx with asd 3 weeks ago. I felt utterly lost, I too blamed myself (I'm not sure we ever truly get away from that, but I think all parents feel guilty for something or other). Now I'm looking at his needs as delays rather than full stops - my ds is bright too so I know he'll learn and I have to have faith in him too. Yes you will battle with schools and so called experts - but where these dc are concerned we are the experts.
I really feel that these salts, docs, teachers need to be trained how to talk to people, as they have the ability to make you feel like your child will wander the streets as an adult unable to cope! NONSENSE
The other thing that I'm guilty off is not being able to see straight where my ds is concerned and assume every bit of behaviour is abnormal - but it isn't I see the other children acting strangely, getting upset, being checky and refusing to do stuff. The only difference, they can articulate themselves better, ours will learn.
Since our dx - I have found out that my mums boss who is a very senior surgeon is asd, he has 6 dc's and us at the top of his game. I have come across a senco that has AS - look around at some the adults you know or work and you will see that some have spectrum symptoms and are all coping fine, without any of the help that we will give our dc's
Stay on here, they help and they don't judge and they don't use your dc as a yardstick. Take carex

Thank you very much for your kindness, I think I am grieving and the tears are never far away. I had looked into APD as I thought a few things sounded similar and I will mention it to the ASD specialist in September. I need to stop blaming myself I think. He is seeing a special needs tutor once a week and she is happy with his progress, the SLT report came as a shock as when he was having therapy she was really positive and said that he got 50% in a cognitive test in June that he previously got 0 for in Jan so when he came back on the 1st percentile for speech+language for his age, I was floored. I do feel better for talking to you all though so something good has come out of it!