my 11 year old ds started hitting me 2 months ago - how can I break the habit?

[cavolonero]

I posted on the main site end of June when my ds hit me repeatedly.Since found out he was getting picked on at school and also eventually got a diagnosis of aspergers syndrome from CAHMS.Primary school were dubious and say I should get a second opinion but its obvious to me.
Main problem is - and more obvious in school holidays is that ds now knows he can say no to me - whatever I request - eg.bath/shower - bedtime (10pm) go to cricket/tennis etc=try and socialise.
I get a kick in the stomach etc and more.
I feel like I should stand up to him but he's as strong/bigger than me and it escalates.
I was getting help from my neighbour as I leave the house and he barracades me out.
He now rings his dad who is threatening to call social services/police - but he isnt really interested.
I try and diffuse it - he will break down and cry - but it worries me that he will threaten me with a knife and seems to get off on it - wants me to retaliate - he says he likes pain.Is this acting/attention seeking or should i get him to a psychologist ?I was offered an appt through CAHMS.
3 weeks ago I didnt feel we needed it - I don't want to medicalise/criminalise adolescent behavior but I don't want to continue being on the receiving end of punches ,its happening weekly,and I fear that someone will get hurt in the heat of the moment.

If he is hitting and kicking you all the time and gets what he wants it will only escalate and get worse as he has the upper hand.

I feel awful for you as it must be a stressful and frightening time.

I would contact CAMHS and take them up on the offer of referral to a psychologist for your sake and your DS. They may have some suggestions to help curb his behaviour x

Thanks - it has crept up on me - all escalated since the CAHMS diagnosis/leaving primary school/found out about bullying.
I couldn't really identify what was causing what - but feared a pattern would set in.
I don't want to pathologise his behaviour - but obviously can't accept it.

In reality CAHMS offered me nothing - said look on the NAS website - and he can see a psycholgist if you want - at the time was trying to take it all in..

Feel I need a strategy - Is the bad behaviour a cry for help? when I broke down and cried he did too and we hugged - I think that kids with aspergers who like routine might respond to a signal - like boxers in the ring when the bell goes - he gets set on a train of behaviour that he can't snap out of.Thats why i leave the house - but its very inconvenient and draining and I have 2 jobs -

Its a leap for me to start parenting my son in a different way - I'm feeling more like a carer - is that how adolescents are or do i have a child whose different? It makes me a bit sad

Hi OP, I have a severely autistic son who's getting bigger and strionger by the day it seems...Our situations are different but I empathise (and have the bruises and teeth marks to prove it)

I'm not sure I can help (late) just wanted to say it sounds like you have a lot of insight into your ds and I'm sure you'll find ways to reduce the negative behaviour.

I hope you get some good advice because I sure could use it