PDA DS getting worse!

[Suzza]

My DS has been DX with autism and we have been told he has other conditions, awaiting for appoinments for more help. I have spent a lot of time trying to find out what it was and a very helpful person on this forum managed to point me in the right direction to PDA (self diagnosis), He has ticked all the boxes it is scary! He seems to be getting worse and this holiday has been a total nightmare so far, obviously he is totally out of routine and can't deal with that at all, but lately every time he gets anxious or annoyed (sometimes for no reason it seems), he starts shouting at me to F**k off (he is 5!), so worried he will take this behaviour back to school and get excluded again!. I don't know what to do, whether to address or ignore?!?!
Any ideas will be much appreciated. I have totally had enough so tired and feel totally helpless.

x

Is his behaviour normally different at school to home? Or pretty much the same?

I don't know whether you should address or ignore it......

Seeing as he's only 5 and so still quite physically little - could you give him a big bear hug when he get's like that? And tell him how much you love him? And then threaten to tickle him if he does it again?

And of course also try and work out what's triggering it and remove it if you can. Does his holidays need more structure? More rest? More exercise? Less choices?

How about drawing a "holiday timetable" with your DS involved?

Sit him down and tell him we need to make holidays a happy time for him and mummy. Tell him both mummy and him have not done very well in making it happy (its a joint problem in his eyes then so avoids the blame senario) Say we got to do two lists of DS jobs and Mummy jobs.

Ask him what he likes to do and his favourite things and write them down infront of him so he knows you are taking his choices seriously. He has a choice and then you have a choice for your list (ie incorporate teeth cleaning, bath, dinner times together etc but also add in the odd fav thing you like to do with him)

Then draw a timetable for the week and put in his likes as well as the things you want him to do. Make it a good thing for him to look forward to after he has done a job he dislikes iyswim.

Then stick it on fridge or any central place and refer to it from first thing in the morning. But make him look and spot what is next each time by asking him "what did we choose to do today?" and use the clock for times as that helps with my DS.

At least he then has a routine that he has been involved in making choices already.

Good luck............oh and I would ignore the language as the more reaction he gets the more he will probably do it if he gets a rise from you. Just say I cant talk to you if you are going to swear and walk away from him and keep doing it.

I was going to add make the timetable a picture one rather that words. You dont have to be a budding artist

Indigobell - behaviour is pretty much the same. I know I feel as if I have constantly something new coming up and I wish I had someone (a professional to hand), living with me LOL so I can go help what shall I do!
I find it so hard to sit back and look at the reasons why, you know what it is like. Working mum of two so bust all the time, I am going to try and do a diary ABC chart type thing if I can..
From what I can see it is all about the change, no school driving him nuts!

Coff33pot - That is a fantastic idea, basically a visual timetable for home..I will get onto it tomorrow as not working on a Wednesday anymore. All this SN stuff is incredibly time consuming I need a day a week to make things!

Thanks again for the ideas both of you I really appreciate it x