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SN children

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Original poster

I have thought it in my mind, so obviously you must know

15 replies

bedheadz · 16/07/2011 11:02

Does anybody elses dc children do this?

ds, frustrated voice "where is my drink?"
me "you haven't asked"
ds "I have"

He keeps on doing this, i am sat in the same room and know 100% he hasn't asked for anything.

He does it about other things, he will draw a board game and expect me to know certain rules even though he hasn't told me. He wil get frustrated when I don't follow the rules he has in his head but hasn't shared.

OP posts:

EllenJaneisnotmyname · 16/07/2011 11:54

It's that 'theory of mind' thing. Yes, my DS is similar, if not so blatant. He starts talking to you about something that he's been thinking about and expects you to know the context. I have to keep asking, "What's the subject?"

coff33pot · 16/07/2011 12:11

Yes DS does this all the time. Especially with games. His sister is forever frustrated when he yells no that is not how it goes and has a full on tantrum. The idea is still in his head only. Also he had a major abscess come up inside his mouth during the course of one day. It must have been horrendously painful. Then all of a sudden at the end of the day he started rolling about and screaming that his mouth hurt and why havent I given him any medicine yet he yelled he has been waiting for ages! I had no idea he was in any pain or ill at all.

lisad123 · 16/07/2011 12:16

yes, dd1 who has HFA, does this alot, it drives me mad

metimenow · 16/07/2011 14:59

My ds will come home from school bothered about something when I ask what is upsetting him he will say you know. I have to explain as I wasnt at school with him I dont know. He thinks I should know even before he tells me.

AtYourCervix · 16/07/2011 15:03

never mind the DDs doing it. DH is a bloody master. Drives me nuts when he suddenly announces something he 'told me about earlier'.

signandsmile · 16/07/2011 17:59

my dh too.... he plans it all out in his head and then springs it on me and is grumpy if it turns out we can't do that, and I have to remind him he never said he wanted to do that/go there.... argh

moosemama · 16/07/2011 21:04

Oh yes, ds1 (AS) does this all the time.

At dinner this evening he finished eating and said "where's the pudding?', obviously we said 'what pudding?' then he said "we're having pudding tonight", me: "no we're not" ds: "yes we are" - you get the gist. Turns out he'd decided he wanted a pudding this evening and just assumed we knew without him telling us. Inevitably there was then a huge tantrum because we did know, he had asked earlier and we still hadn't made any pudding.

He also does what Ellen's ds does and invariably seems to start a conversation in the middle with no frame of reference, so you have absolutely no clue what he's talking about. Then he gets really cross because you don't understand what he's on about.

Its really annoys me when he knows he needs to take something in or do something for school on a certain day, but fails to actually tell me then blames me because I knew but didn't remind him.

mumslife · 16/07/2011 23:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ineedalife · 17/07/2011 18:10

Dd3 also does this, particularly starting to talk about something random, thinking that everyone knows what she is talking about.

It leads to lots of issues with her older siblings and is the thing that gets her called "wierd" the most in our house.

Peaceflower · 17/07/2011 19:05

Yup, my dd does this too, and when I tell her "you only thought it, you didn't share it", she says "mum, I did tell you, but you never listen"

drivemecrazy63 · 17/07/2011 19:56

ds does it a lot but my dh is AS and sons ASD but you know what im starting to do it now i think ive so many things going on all at once my minds running ahead of itself.

drivemecrazy63 · 17/07/2011 19:58

yes dh and ds say that to me "oh for god sake mum do listen" so im not going deaf or forgetfull ...they had me thinking

TheOriginalFAB · 17/07/2011 19:58

I do this with my DH.

greatescape · 17/07/2011 21:48

My ds got out of bed in the night came to my room screamed kicked the door threw things on the floor. I asked what was wrong you know whats wrong he said. I explained he hadnt told me. It hurts he said. What hurts ? you know why are you being stupid. I have to explain agian you havent told me were it hurts. He looks at me like hes told me a thousand times and says my throat its my throat you should know. Finally I can deal with sore throat and peace is restored.

sneezecakesmum · 17/07/2011 21:57

Probably nothing whatsoever to do with this invisible conversation but I heard this somewhere.

Children under the age 3 cannot lie because they think everybody is thinking the same thing as them - hence no point in lying!

At 4 they know they are separate beings and can lie because you wont know they are lying.

Really fascinating experiment done to prove this. Perhaps DS is stuck in this pre-lying stage for this part of his development, though he has moved on in others?

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