Gender Identity Disorder

[fivegomadindorset]

We had an appointment last Friday with child psychologist, we self reffered as we didn't feel that we were getting a good level of support from our paediatrician. As we expected DD (5.5) shows traits of Aspergers, that is fine, in his words she will always be seen as being mildly eccentric with a few social issues. What is more of a problem is the fact that she wants to be a boy, always has done since about 2, and fits the crieteria of the above condition he said that she could grow out of it or not and has suggested we talk to the ed psych attached to her school and to make the school aware, mainly as if this continues she will need help with transition from primary to secondary.

Not sure what I want from here, just wondered if anyone else DC was like this or new anyone else or heard of support groups. DH seems to be in a bit if denial about this.

DD is 5 years old and they are worried about gender identity disorder and the transition to high school??????

Seems far, far, far too early to be worried about anything like that. Maybe if she was in Y5.....

My DS (with suspected Aspergers) wanted to be a girl, and would only wear girl's clothes, did ballet etc, from 3 till 5. Now he wouldn't be caught dead in pink.

5 really seems far too young to worry about this.

Thanks Indigo and I really hope that is the outcome but this has been going on for 4 years now with no end in sight, and all I wanted was to know if anyone had been through this or new what support was out ther who I could talk to. I shall bugger off now.

Please don't bugger off.

I don't know if anyone else here knows about gender identity disorder, but between us we know an awful lot about both Aspergers, and how the SEN school system works......

Article here from the Royal College of Psychiatrists, London about Gender Identity Disorder in children that you may find interesting.

I think it may be valuable to try and get a referral to a child psychiatrist with a good understanding in this area who can at least assess from a position of experience- its highly unlikely that a school ed psych will be able to offer that.

I can appreciate that this is concerning you enough to take action, but five is young, especially if you are looking at aspergers as well as it could be your DDs way of dealing with a world that she doesn't see in the same way as you do. Has that dx been confirmed?

Sorry I was a bit short, we have been living wth explaining DD to so many people for the last three years and feel it will be never ending. The child psychiatrist was very good and guess was doing the worst case scenario, his thoughts on the Ed Psych was just really a heads up if any of her peer group ask questions when older I guess and transition. We live between two army bases and so have a constant turnaround of children in and out of schools so Iw ould like something in place in case this keeps on and DD gets bullied when she is older. Would it be worth asking for a referral to CAMHS. She is showing aspergers traits so borderline but not sure if this gender thing is tied up with that.

It really is possible it's ASD and not a gender problem. The ASD is causing your DD not to pick up on the social cues that tell her she shouldn't be behaving like that.....

I really think you need to give it a little big longer, and also find out if she does have ASD or not.....

It of course is equally possible that she does have gender identity disorder and will have it for the rest of her life - but even so I don't think you need to do anything about it at 5.

School should stop all bullying, whatever the reason. I think leaving it a year or two is probably less risky then telling school and everyone else about it now - I mean what if you do tell everyone, and then she does grow out of it, or it becomes obvious that it's ASD and not a gender problem - then you'll have to tell everyone the opposite, which isn't going to be great.....

Honestly, at 5, it really really looked like DS2 had a gender problem. And now he doesn't at all.......... I sent him to nursery / school in his uniform. At school he put on a tutu from the dressing up corner. I didn't really need to say anything

When the kids started teasing him - is when he finally picked up on the social cues that said that wasn't appropriate behaviour. And then he stopped it.

DD2 has been a tomboy for about 4 years and wanted desperately to be a boy for about 2 years.

She's been seeing CAMHS for about 18 months now and just been dx'd with AS. The Psych feels that her desire to be a boy is actually a symptom of her feeling that something is not quite right about her. She sees a change to being a boy as a solution to feeling socially isolated and that she's missing something.

The psych asked her at the last appt if her feelings about it had changed and she agreed that it was ok to be a girl as long as she doesn't have to be a girly girl. She went back on it during a conversation with me later in the day but i still see it as progress and I put that progress down to the AS dx and the resulting improved understanding of her own difficulties.

Her peers seem to have totally accepted her wearing boys clothes etc without question which is nice and most adults are happy to go along with it too.

I am trying not to see this as a long term issue and am hoping that as her self-esteem and social skills are better supported perhaps she will become happier with her identity. We'll see I guess.

Al1son, thank you for that, your DD and my DD could be twins. We have just ended an 8 week battle with the school regarding DD wearing the boys summer uniforn as she refused to wear the dress.

I saw a good documentary about children w gender identity issues, in U.S.. One male child who wanted to be a girl at 15 months of age would want his onesie to not be snapped, so that the outfit was more like a dress. He was a baby, but he knew.

There's a big link between autism spectrum conditions and gender identity/sexuality differences. From memory, at least four times more common than in the general population. I'd say age 5 is way way too young to know for sure, though.

I'm not dismissing that it may turn out to be a real issue at all, but at 5 my DS who has AS was adamant he was a horse we had to call him horsey or he'd not answer, he trotted everywhere neighing occasionally, lol.

She's 5, her identity has plenty of time to change - if at an older age you think she does have gender identity issues, deal with it then, there's nothing wrong with just letting her be 5 and whatever she wants without worrying about it.

I know, I am in full on panic mode after having been dsimissed out of hand and been told there is nothing wrong with DD to this which probablt will be nothing.I am finding her behaviour increasingly difficult to manage and struggling slightly. Would it be worth pushing for a referral to CAMHS?

I think she needs to be seen by a child development paed to be assessed for Aspergers first.

CAMHS (in my area) is just full of clinical psychologists - and you have already seen one of them.

However, in some areas CAMHS is the way to get an ASD dx, not a paed....

I think the best thing to do is just to think she may or may not have gender identity disorder, and don't make a big deal out of it yet

I totally agree that in a few more years you would need to take it seriously and talk to school etc.

But for now, concentrate on finding out whether or not she has ASD. Because it is probably this which is causing her increasingly difficult behaviour

Now this is where the problem lies, she is seeing a paediatrician for her toiletting or lack of it, refuses to poo in the loo, still wets herself. We have already discussed the possiblity of Aspergers and she is not interested hence the trip to the private psych. I can't keep up with that he is over an hour away and my mother is paying. We have an appointment in a few days so will have a nother go. The HV is very helpful so may have a chat with her aswell.

But is she the right kind of a paed to dx Asd? Is she a child development paed or some other kind?

You need to go back to your GP and ask to be referred to someone who can dx ASD. Either a diff paed, or CAMHS (depending on your area)

She really does sound like she could have Aspergers from what you've told us so far....

(Toileting problems, challenging behaviour, gender identity issues.....)