I can't remember where I read it - and it may not even have been on MN - but if it was, THANK YOU to whoever suggested this. I tried it this morning when DS2 was kicking off about getting dressed for school. I counted out loud, but very quietly - he stopped shouting and looked at me very intently, started smiling by the time I got to 30 and held out his legs for his trousers as soon as I reached 1. Amazing!
Now I know something working once isn't scientific proof that it will always work - but here's hoping 