Who can help?

[2Siobhan]

Ds is 5 and still wont poo in the potty or toilet and I don't know what to do? He got really constipated as a result when he started school in September.
Everybody I have spoke to says its not their responsibility (school nurse, school, gp, ot). Is it my responsibility to go and change him. He has had to start wearing pull ups full time and is now spending a whole day in one if I don't go in to change him. It is difficult for me to go in so often and means him sitting in a soiled nappy while waiting for me come if I am not near by. Is it me or school negleting him.

Does he know when he needs to go? would he be able to ask for a pull up if he needs to go?

I know a little boy that would only poo in a pull up until he was 7 but would wait until after school and ask for a pull up, his parents then encouraged him to take the pull up and do it in the bathroom.

You could also try movicol (sp) to get him into a routine of going at the same time every day (evening).

He will get there in the end but its best not to push him or he will hold it in and get poorly, we had a similar problem with dd1 and she ended up very bunged up .

I think it is their responsibility. If his difficulties are related to his special needs then school and other professionals need to sort this out. I would ask for a meeting with the school nursing team, senco, continence team and as them how they are going to deal with this issue. It is clearly unacceptable for him to be sitting in a dirty pad and you really can't be expected to go in every day. If they think you are prepared to do this then they will undoubtedly ask you to do it.

If I put him in pants he soils them to and would not ask for pull up. He wont even ask to be changed. He is on Movicol but getting the dose right is hard. He is constipated at the moment so overflow is a problem now. During the last holidays I got the dose right (regular and not to soft sorry tmi) but when he went back to school he was holding on so I had to up the dose to clear him and start all over again. We saw a doc at the hospital but he only dealt with the constipation and not the real issue... that he was not trained prior to constipation due to gdd. I have spoke to school nurse and senco a lot and they are not going to help. How do I get referal to continence team?

School nurse should refer to the continence team.

If your DS is on movicol for constipation, his soiling is due to a medical need. As such, if the school have been made aware of this, they have a duty of care to change him and make sure he is not sitting in class soiled.
Get the information on medical and educational needs school policy. It probably won't be on their website, you'll probably need to go and ask for it.
Speak to the SENco as well. If your DS is sitting waiting for you to come and change him, his is not in class and not accessing his education. IEP s can include toiletting routines as well - it's part of his personal and social development at the age of 5.
I had a problem on day 1 of year 1 with DS2, although i had had no problems in reception year. A quick word to the SENco and there were no more telephone calls to change him.
IMO it is all of the parties you mentioned responsibilities to help. The school, the GP, the nurse, you etc etc. Consistency of approach in any toilet routine is important.

Thanks. They just wont listen I dont know how to make them. I will check the policies. They say it is not in their job description to change him and that I have to get a ta to volunteer. Problem is even if they want to they cant get away from their current responsibilities to do it. They did start a toilet routine but it lasted five minutes.

Just had a quick flick through the ERIC website - most of the references suggest that the school nurse and head of pastoral care should help and liaise with medical professionals. it will be interesting to see what the school policy on this is. Most of me wonders if they are chancing there arm in calling you each time because you come in. It might be saving them time and effort and while you continue to help them out, they may be ignoring their own policies.