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Original poster

We're pulling a sickie on Sports day WWYD?

29 replies

Amieesmum · 20/06/2011 17:29

My DD is coming up for 7, in year two, last year on sports day, poor little mite was humiliated on sports day. She has a genetic condition the affects her hearing, and balance among other things, thus making it difficult to walk - running is near on impossible!

Last year, she was put into the sack race, and couldn't even get into the sack bless her, let alone jump in it down the track, needless to say she was so upset! She goes to a main stream school, and already gets laughed at during PE, which she now has full time support.

Despite this, her teachers insist she takes part and runs in at least one race (DD really doesn't want to do this)

So this year, the two of us have decided to pull a sickie and spend the day doing something fun! it's the school fair that afternoon, and i normally do the face painting, so DD will miss out on that, I have informed them i wont be doing it this year. Do you think i'm totally in the wrong for letting DD have the day off?

OP posts:

cankles · 20/06/2011 17:36

The school don't sound very in tune with dd's needs (hopefully they are better in the classroom!) - have a lovely day off. I don't think your wrong for keeping dd away x

Marne · 20/06/2011 17:51

We have sports day tomorrow, i'm hoping it rains so its called off, dd1 (as and low muscle tone) never wins a race and gets upset and it's dd2's (ASD and low tone) first sports day, if it gets called off tomorrow i'm hoping they will do it next week (when we are on holiday). I dont blame you for not going.

cansu · 20/06/2011 18:02

I think that's fine. If I could take day off work I would do the same for dd2. I would probably say to the school. 'dd2 finds these off timetable sessions difficult - so I will keep her home'. They would be OK with this I'm sure at dd's school, though yours sounds a bit less accommodating.

Tiggles · 20/06/2011 18:20

I would certainly take a sickie and I am not generally in favour!
There is a lad in the DSs school who has recently been stopped from running due to a medical problem. The school are therefore making sure that his class has a walking race to make sure he can take part.

utah · 20/06/2011 18:47

I would ask (demand) that they gave my child a helper role. the primary school that my son went to if children with SEN did not want to participate then they became teacher helper. One child in my sons year got to say ready steady go and another in a different year collected the score cards. The teachers alway thanked them at the end and they got a cheer from the parents and class mates. MS schools really do need to work on inclusion. I would not take a sickie I would tell them my child will not be attending school as she is still very upset from the previous year.

shazian · 20/06/2011 18:58

I would take a sickie, you both deserve it.... go on have fun. why put your DD through something that really upsets her.

Chundle · 20/06/2011 19:11

At our school in all the races they split the kids into boys and girls an then into 3 groups based on their ability to run etc. So there's always the really sporty fast group and the slower group. This is really good idea I think as we have a girl with downs and a girl with a heart condition in our year so gives them a chance to do well. If you're school don't do this then I'd def go sick :)

DeWe · 20/06/2011 19:30

Doctor's appointment in the morning so you can still go to the fair?

rebl · 20/06/2011 19:32

I would pull a sickie if thats whats happening. I do like DeWe suggestion. I'm dreading sports day, similar problems, deaf and poor coordination and balance. But I've decided it's his 1st one so we'll give it a shot.

Galena · 20/06/2011 19:36

It's rubbish that some schools are so dreadful with inclusion. We used to have some competitive things (which not all of the children took part in), a team ball game which didn't involve running (which again, not all the children took part in) and some non-competitive things which the children were all encouraged to join in with - many of which were wheelchair friendly.

If a child particularly didn't want to be in a race or in the team game, they weren't forced to (We'd encourage them to, but if they said no, then they wouldn't be in them - although sometimes the parents would then come in cross that their child wasn't in anything!)

signandsmile · 20/06/2011 20:11

I have got to say forcing a child to 'compete' in something they know she cannot do, is setting her up to fail, (and sucks!) [cross] I would not go this year, and tell them whatever makes it best for you, (have an appointment, be un well, tell them they are crap and until they are inclusive you are withdrawing her... [cross] etc etc )

signandsmile · 20/06/2011 20:14

oops I meant not [cross] !

moosemama · 20/06/2011 20:34

Would you consider having an unauthorised absence on her record and write to the Head informing them why you had to make the decision and ask for their response in writing as to how they will ensure the same situation doesn't occur in subsequent years? I agree with utah, they should find a way to involve her in a non-competive way - teacher's helper is ideal.

I almost pulled ds2 (nt) out of sports day last week, as he gets so upset every year about not being able to do some of the 'sports'. He finds the whole thing really traumatic.

Ds1 (AS) has hypotonia and and poor coordination and we had him sobbing one year because he couldn't skip - despite us spending weeks trying to help him learn - yet they still made him do the skipping race.

Last week so many little ones ended up crying, either when they fell over, got left behind or confused about what they were supposed to do, it was horrible to watch.

If you don't want to go the unauthorised absence route, I would absolutely pull a sickie

pilates · 20/06/2011 20:48

Yes I would do the same, hope you enjoy your day together.

shaz298 · 20/06/2011 20:52

We have 1st sports day on Thursday. Not sure what willhappen. I like the idea of being teacher's helper! Think I may suggest it. x

shaz298 · 20/06/2011 20:53

Or DS has 2 wheelchairs. Only needs it for distance, but is a very wobbly walker. Maybe they can arrange a wheelchair race between him and a friend? They did use his wheelchairs for PE one day so maybe that's an option....

elliejjtiny · 20/06/2011 21:57

I think it's a good idea. In fact I'm a bit jealous of your dd as I'm dyspraxic and I wish my mum had let me do that on sports day. Inclusion was terrible in those days and in the skipping race when everyone else had finished and I was still going the deputy head shouted "hurry up ellie" into her megaphone. Worryingly, she was the SENCO!

mum0fthree · 20/06/2011 22:15

I had virtually the same problem, ds 7 yr 2 was in the sack race last year. I posted in AIBU. Inclusion my ass.

However this year his teacher has agreed that he can do a job instead. My concern was that letting him stay off would set a precedent, but if it had come down to him being forced to take part, then I most probably would have kept him off.

Have you asked if your dd can do a job to help instead?

Original poster

Amieesmum · 20/06/2011 23:23

I have asked if she can do a helper role, and they are adamant she needs to compete in a race. ATM she's down for the skipping race, I was like WTF? Really!?!?! DD has been frantically trying to skip for the best part of 3 years, and just can't manage bless her.

The school also need confirmation in writing of all hospital/doctors/specialist appointments, so we'd fail miserably on that one. TBH they will probably know why we're not there, i've made no secret of the fact we don't intend to be there.
I've also refused to sign a permission slip for her to attend "mini Olympics" at a near by junior school, which all the schools in the local area will be having a combined sports day. Fortunately it just so happens we have a convenient audiology appointment that day (was pure luck of the draw!)
DD has been humiliated in more than a few PE lessons, and although her class teacher is great, the TA that supervises is frigging useless, when i spoke to her about it her reply was "believe it or not things like that don't happen, children just aren't that cruel at this age" REALLY!?!?!?! So the class teacher pulled me aside for nothing the other day, after DD had spent a whole night in tears as the whole girls PE group were teasing her, and the teacher kept the whole class in at play time, to talk to them (again) about not picking on DD (we had a bullying issue earlier in the year where the girls thought it was funny to bat dd over the ears so her hearing aids made a noise)

OK Rant over... and relax

OP posts:

mum0fthree · 21/06/2011 07:56

We really are in a similer position, albeit with a different outcome, ds has the olympkids the week after sports day also.

I would try again with the teacher and explain about the negative effect this is having on dd's confidence and mental health. Somethings are not worth the anguish. ds is not going to take part in the olympkids either his teacher is happy for him to watch with the opportunity to join in if he CHOOSES.

ds is in the dx process for ASD, he has weekly physio for immature gross motor skills.

Good luck, hope your school sees sense and gives her a job or at least places her in a more suitable race.

mum0fthree · 21/06/2011 07:57

*similar

chatee · 21/06/2011 10:25

For all parents of children with disabilities, please have a look at the website EFDS as they offer fantastic sporting opportunities for children with disabilities and it will encourage you to allow your children to participate in sport positively and at a sport that your child can learn to enjoy.

I too, have been in the op position by wanting to pull a sickie for my child with a disability to not have to take part in torture day(sports day) but then my other children would also miss out on the experience of having a parent watching them and I would also be expecting all of them to lie....which is really not an example I want to be teaching any of us....
but a small injury could occur meaning that on the day my child would have to use her wheelchair so would sadly have to miss out on the races.....naughty but it has to be done.......

www.disabilitysport.org.uk/sports/nlstory.cfm?ID=40108&NLID=43652

starfishmummy · 21/06/2011 12:26

DS goes to a special school but the children have really different abilities and there are plenty of things that any school could copy where all the children could participate on a fairly equal footing. Things like welly wanging and other throwing games - skittles where the ball is rolled down a drainpipe spring to mind. Some years there are even computer game events.

unpa1dcar3r · 21/06/2011 18:39

It's not gonna do much for her confidence bless her if they're making her do things which she clearly struggles with. I mean it's not like an exam or something is it. It's meant to be FUN!!! Clearly if your daughter is made to feel humiliated and embarrassed how can it be classed as fun?
I would blow it out and tell the school exactly why you're blowing it out and that by next yr you expect them to get their act together and allow her to do things she can do or that you'll blow it out again. I'd also mention discrimination. I mean not that they're stopping her but that they're making it incredibly difficult for her (it's a form of bullying IMO)

pigletmania · 21/06/2011 19:15

Nah keep her away poor thing, noway should she have to go through that. You both have a lovely day together.

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