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SN children

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Original poster

People making comments re SNs in public

89 replies

Triggles · 19/06/2011 11:00

DH just came back from taking DS2 on a long walk in the Maclaren to the supermarket to pick up a few things. He was doing a favour for me, actually (as I'm the driver in the family) as I was tired and not really up to a trip to the supermarket this morning. Plus DS2 loves going on long walks (as long as he doesn't actually have to walk the whole way LOL).

DH was fuming. Said that 3 different times he had people making comments about DS2 (4yo) being in a pushchair. He ignored the first 2, but the third one, he went off at them and said "It's a special needs pushchair - is that a PROBLEM for you?!?!" Apparently that woman turned bright red, looked down, and scurried off pretty quickly at that.

I will never understand why people feel the need to comment, tut, make faces, point, laugh, whatever.

OP posts:

bigbluebus · 22/06/2011 19:26

LOL Ellen Jane.I once went to a meeting at the offices where our Disabled Chidrens Team used to be based. When the meeting finished and a group of us came out of the building, there was a car parked in the disabled space without a blue badge displayed. My friend quickly scribbled a note and put it under the wipers on the windscreen which said 'You've taken my parking space, would you like my disability too?' Bet the car belonged to a member of staff!!!
Incidentally, the disabled parking spaces at my son's school are always occupied by staff cars without blue badges too. DS says he doesn't think the staff are disabled (there is a staff member who would be entitled to a blue badge, but he doesn't come by car!)

Marne · 22/06/2011 19:29

We have had comments too , i now make sure dd2 wears her Autism badge when in her Major.

unpa1dcar3r · 22/06/2011 21:30

I have little cards from the Fragile X society which give the email adress and also a very basic 'if I am behaving strangely it is because I am scared...please help me by being kind' type thing.
I give them out to anyone who's interested enough to ask what their condition is but have also given one to a bloke who was openly staring at them at haven once when they were watching the show and flapping.
I observed him for some time to be clear, when he leant into his wife and whispered and she then looked around him to see them better I thought Ok time for a card. So I went up to them and said 'see those children you're staring at? They're mine so take this card and have a read'. They did look at the card, and then hung their heads, wouldn't catch my eye, so I knew damn well I was right or he would've come over and said something like 'why did you feel the need to give us a card?'
I shamed them good n proper!

AllieZ · 22/06/2011 22:04

While I sympathize with you, I must say that I used to teach at a school where there weren't enough spaces and I also used to park in disabled spaces on school grounds. It was double yellow all round the school (and motorway on one side); the sports ground was down a steep bank, inaccessible by car. What was I supposed to do? Not come to school? The supply teacher would have had to park somewhere, too. (No public transport or car-pool where I lived). I sent an email every time to management but you can't make spaces where there aren't any. Also you must keep in mind that a school's car park can be private property, i.e. it is not the road, it does not necessarily belong to the council so essentially it is the case of if your neighbour paints the yellow wheelchair sign on his own driveway just for fun, it does not mean you can park there with a blue badge because it's still his property. With schools it's a bit more complicated (depends on whether it's LA or indie and a few other things) but a school car park is not quite the same as a disabled bay on council-owned roads or spaces. And the reason why I know this is because every time I had to park in a disabled bay the caretaker reassured me that you cannot be fined or towed if you park in a disabled bay on school grounds without a blue badge.

Original poster

Triggles · 22/06/2011 22:40

No, sorry. If they cannot keep it available for blue badge holders, they shouldn't have it marked for disabled parking. Just makes a mockery of the whole thing, IMO. It's the whole "having it both ways" ... it's either disabled parking and you keep it open for them. Or it's not.

OP posts:

wendihouse22 · 23/06/2011 08:56

AllieZ.....nope, sorry, I know how difficult it is to park at work. It got to the stage where, I went in by train and left the car at home.

Please, don't park in the disabled spot.

unpa1dcar3r · 23/06/2011 15:48

Soooo Allie just out of curiosity if you had nowhere to park and couldn't, for example, park on the slope, where in hell did the disabled badge holders park and how on earth did they manage?

Shoesytwoesy · 23/06/2011 16:01

intesting thread, made me break my sn topic boycott.
I think there is no excuse for parking in a disabled bay if you don't have a disability/blue badge, saying it is on private ground doesn't make it ok, I think

we don't get comments, but omg the staring, I am not polite, and ds (19) has been known when he was younger to say something to the adults.

5inthebed · 23/06/2011 16:13

I hate the comments, usually off other kids or older people "why is that big boy in a pram"

Allie, regardless of a fine or not, you were wrong parking in that space. You have legs, park somewhere else and walk.

signandsmile · 23/06/2011 16:56

I'm with the rest of you... if parking is an issue for you how much more for those who actually have impaired mobility....

devientenigma · 23/06/2011 20:18

yeah we get all the stares and arguments, then from the back of my darkened blacked out windows I remove my ds who can be quite aggressive and forceful and as he's screaming and thrashing he's shouting f off they sharp scarper shouting he shouldn't be allowed out in public..........haha
Anyway on a lighter note, one day as I was coming out of asda a police car was parked in a disabled bay. I went to my car and on the back of an envelope wrote.......I think it's great that the police force don't discriminate disability, however you forgot to display your badge!!

5inthebed · 23/06/2011 21:00

HAHA Dev!

devientenigma · 23/06/2011 21:52

lol 5 meant to say I Stuck it under his window wiper!

5inthebed · 23/06/2011 22:23

I knew what you meant. Would have loved to see the police officers face.

unpa1dcar3r · 25/06/2011 10:34

Dev that is priceless. I would've had to stick around to see his/her face I think. Well done you!

drivemecrazy63 · 25/06/2011 21:43

we were on a boat trip today and this woman stared at ds the whole time he was eating his lunch and when he finished his drink he burped i told him it was rude to burp loudly as you do and this woman continued staring and now tutting if she had been closer i would have asked if she would like a picture and told her to go do one but ^im a lady^ (said in a little britain voice)

AllieZ · 07/07/2011 16:24

No, sorry. If they cannot keep it available for blue badge holders, they shouldn't have it marked for disabled parking.
Marking them may be a legal requirement. It means "keep these bays free while there are other places in the car park". Apart from this, yes, maybe I should have suggested to management to remove the disabled bay markings from the school entirely - that would have helped disabled people so much...

It got to the stage where, I went in by train and left the car at home.
I'm sure you are aware of the fact that large parts of rural England and Scotland have no trains.

if you had nowhere to park and couldn't, for example, park on the slope
It is very difficult to park on a slope with a 45% incline and with a length less than the average car. Can you do it?

where in hell did the disabled badge holders park and how on earth did they manage?
I have no idea. But during the 2 years I worked there I only saw 1 disabled person at the school (3 times altogether). She was in a motorised wheelchair to which she transferred from her car and thus it did not matter in the least where she parked in the car park.

Allie, regardless of a fine or not, you were wrong parking in that space. You have legs, park somewhere else and walk.
Please suggest where I was supposed to park? (Before doing so please read my post describing the circumstances.)

I think it's great that the police force don't discriminate disability, however you forgot to display your badge!!
I'm sure you are aware that in most car parks "leafleting", i.e. putting anything under other people's windscreen wipers is illegal (reserved to police and parking attendants). The police could have also sued you for damaging their vehicle while touching it. They may not have won it but I'm sure you would not have liked it.

signandsmile · 07/07/2011 19:03

Hmmm, where to start... You only saw one disabled person at the school. Because of course you would know by looking at them...?? (disabled people are only those use wheelchairs) .

Marking them may be a legal requirement. It means "keep these bays free while there are other places in the car park".

No it means these spaces are for people with blue badges, full stop.

actually, this is just making me cross, and I am so knackered tonight especially after dh being very wobbly and unsteady for last few days, that I am going to either be rude, or stop now.

stopping now.

sign breathing deeply and soothing self with thoughts of fab school with inclusive and aware staff which ds is heading off to in Sept.

(and sorry, don't mean to gloat, to all of you dealing with crap educationalist at the moment)

Mumof4Monsters · 07/07/2011 20:45

Unfortunatly its not just SN that comments are saved for :( My 16yr old DD is on the Autistic Spectrum & we have had enough comments for her but i also have a 3&half yr old NT DS that has delayed speech. Because of this i have always used a rear facing pram (even now when he needs to go in 1), there is no point in using front facing one as i have to stop every few paces to go round & work out what hes trying to tell me. A few mths ago i was in our local chemist picking up a script for him coz he was really poorly, one of the staff asked how old he was (she could see him) & when i told her said "thought he must have been little baby in pram like that"!!

unpa1dcar3r · 08/07/2011 09:16

It got to the stage where, I went in by train and left the car at home.
A) I'm sure you are aware of the fact that large parts of rural England and Scotland have no trains.

So how did the disabled people get there?

if you had nowhere to park and couldn't, for example, park on the slope
A) It is very difficult to park on a slope with a 45% incline and with a length less than the average car. Can you do it?

Not with two severely disabled children in the car, no I couldn't. However if I was alone then yes I would and have done!

And marking the places does not mean that at all for heavens sake, who told you that? It means keep these bays are people who are disabled as they need more space!

AllieZ · 08/07/2011 12:52

it means these spaces are for people with blue badges, full stop.
Not on private property.

Not with two severely disabled children in the car, no I couldn't.
Can you park with any car on a slope shorter than the car and having a 45% incline? Without children just yourself?

>I'm sure you are aware of the fact that large parts of rural England and Scotland have no trains.
So how did the disabled people get there?
What disabled people?
(Since we are talking about a mainstream secondary school where at the time the only disabled kids were ones with dyslexia and one kid with HFA who came on the bus by himself...)

signandsmile · 08/07/2011 17:41

Argh! what about parents with disabilites, or other visitors to the school, or even, heaven forbid professionals who need to visit the school and happen to be disabled. (we are out there you know!)

hellyeah · 08/07/2011 17:42

there is never an excuse for parking in a disabled bay if you are not disabled or have a disabled person in you vehicle, it doesn't matter how many excuses you make, it is wrong

MissKittyEliza · 09/07/2011 21:16

Well, it happens at our school. Apparently, parking's impossible

JackTheNipper · 09/07/2011 21:30

AllieZ I hope youe never in the position where you need a blue badge and some inconsiderate non blue badge holder has parked in a disabled bay, forcing you to park in a small space with a pilar, and the gap is so small you cant fit your buggy/wheelchair through it, and your so distressed about your screaming child people asr staring, and you want the ground to swallow you up. Until YOU have been in that situation you will not get why these spaces are so important.

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