would this be ok or inappropriate ?

[cheeryface]

ds2 (12) undiagnosed but having problems and under camhs hates school. he started late in year 7 and we missed parents evening so i havent been able to speak with his teachers.

from his report and looking in his books it seems they have him down as badly behaved and lazy but i know he has been so low at times that hes wanted to kill himself and i have told the head of year this.

no one seems to think its a good idea to contact me and discuss how to help him and i have spoken to the pupil office twice now requesting this. i am sure if he is diagnosed they will do something but of course he will still be the same as he is now.

there is one and only one teacher that he has come home telling me he likes , one teacher that has given him some positive comments. the food tech teacher. i think this teacher has it right and will help ds2 succeed in his food tech lessons , so far he has done well , proudly bringing home what he has made.

i was thinking of writing to the form tutor and asking for an appointment to try and help ds2 but also sending one to the food tech teacher to thank her !
do you think this might be a bit wrong ? since he is now in high school .

thanx

I think that's a great idea. School should be talking to you regardless of a dx. Is he on the SEN register?

what do camhs say? school senco should know that he is under camhs in any case - they are supposed to know which children are seeing other professionals in case of crossover.

the learning support department would be a good place to start asking questions at the school.

why did you miss parent's evening? usually if you can't make the allocated time you can arrange an alternative - you need to contact school office and discuss whether this is possible - you may not get to see all the teachers, obviously, but if you have specific subject areas that are causing concern, then you should be able to arrange to see those teachers. what does his homeroom/ form teacher say? he/s he should be happy to meet and discuss, even if it isn't possible to see the others.

if you can take an up to date camhs report that would be very helpful.

Hi cornsilk ,
no he isnt on the sen register. what would qualify ? thing is, work wise the primary were happy with him (although i was surprised at that) its only since starting secondary that his works gone downhill so i dont think they think he has special needs but that he just cant be bothered.
i think he probably has a decent IQ myself but something is preventing him from learning.
he says hes a failure .

he wasnt at the school when it was parents evening he only moved there afterwards.
good idea re the camhs report.
learning support department ? do all schools have one? not heard of that at this school !

oh and camhs say hes a jigsaw and they will have to spend time piecing things together to find the problem...spend time they have

have a look at the code of practice online cheeryface - behaviour emotional and social development (7.60). Did you get any recommendations for a private psychologist?

thanx will do . still no idea re private psych . have an appoinment with camhs social worker on monday. I bet they still havent done anything at all about getting him observed in school.

if he is a relatively new starter at school, you should be asking to make an appointment to discuss how he has settled in anyway. particularly if school seem to be highlighting some behavioural issues.

there will be a learning support department that controls all the lsa's for statemented/ sa/ sa+ kids. sometimes it's just one teacher, sometimes a whole department with a learning base (usually somewhere that sn kids can go to hang out/ get extra tuition/ report for particular small group or 1-1 work in areas where they struggle/ need extra support.) depends on the size of school, but a secondary will operate this in some form or other.

He also suffers from absence epilepsy which i asked the school to be aware of when he started there. I dont know how much that is affecting him as the episodes are so brief and hardly noticable but his eeg showed moderate to high levels of epileptic activity in the brain.

I would defo send a thank you letter ot the food teacher. It isn't often they get letters of praise and I'm sure she'd like to know she's done well. Plus she could use it with a reference for a later job perhaps.
Keep banging on with the school though. I'd put a request in writing; they have to respond to that by law. And keep copies of dates sent etc too!

Yes, definitely either send a thank you letter to the food tech teacher or to the ht complimenting her and cc her in. It should then be a plus in her next review. Also makes you seem very reasonable and the type of parent who appreciates good teachers, not one that only complains

yes I think its a great idea to thank the good tech teacher. Sorry everybody else seems to be less than helpful.

I agree about sending the Thankyou note to the food teacher, it is easy sometimes to forget to say positive things to teachers especially when our kids are struggling so much.

I would organise a meeting with the Head of year or senco to discuss your Ds's issues and take any paperwork relating to your Ds with you. Also make some notes about what he has said and how the school could help him.

Remember you know your Ds better than anyone else so you need to be his advocate and get him some extra support.

Good luck.