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Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

Original poster

going to take ds2 to A & E and leave him there :(

29 replies

cheeryface · 13/06/2011 17:05

dont know if he has special needs or hes just horrendous . hes under camhs but so far they havent come up with any answers.
today he is threatening me , threatening to kill himself, throwing things , breaking things, leaving the house , coming back again , screaming in my face , verbally abusing me , shoving and pushing me , everything out of drawers and cupboards all over floor , banging cupboard doors loudly and repeatedly , crying etc etc
hes 12 . school is a disaster and home is too. yesterday he was fine.
i cant cope.

OP posts:
Maryz · 13/06/2011 17:08

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smileANDwave2000 · 13/06/2011 17:12

poor you i know how you feel but you know maybe thats exactly what you should do as then maybe they will send down the child psycologist my ds has low self est and had been self harming (hes much better now as at ss ) so i know how scary it is easy and to say you obviously need a break doesnt help and often when our dcs behave like that you cant expect anyone to want to look after them even for a few hours .Ring CAMHS again as you probably already do as they need a reminder regular of whats going on not that they will probably do anything but they cant say you didnt tell them.
whats happening at school? and who are you seeing trying to get his dx?

StarlightMcKenzie · 13/06/2011 17:12

Can you phone childline? They might be able to point you in the right direction of urgent/emergency help.

StarlightMcKenzie · 13/06/2011 17:13

And, (sorry this is an awful suggestion but might help you later) is there anyway that you can get some of it on video?

Original poster
cheeryface · 13/06/2011 17:13

he was like this this morning . finally got him to school but hes gone off again now. at the moment though he is singing /shouting to extremely loud rock music but i know it will be something else any minute and could go on all night. i dont drive. dh is at work until late. my friend is busy with 4 children of her own.
i wish i knew what was up with him if anything diagnosable. maybe hes just a really horrible manipulative pre teen. oh my god i feel so desperate. bloody camhs no use.

OP posts:
unpa1dcar3r · 13/06/2011 17:13

So what has happened since yesterday Cheery? Is he able to articulate why he is so sad and angry?
He hasn't been tested for anything I assume other than some help (?) from CAMHS. Does he have learning difficulties. Has something happened at school to trigger this outburst?

He is also probably pubescent now which doesn't help.
I don't know what to suggest but to say have some hugs as I know how hard it is. My 2 boys are both SLD with Fragile X Syndrome and my youngers on has a temper which can be horrendous. But older boy (14) is also now getting very verbal and quite aggressive too and I think some of it is puberty with him.
Do you have a social worker? I would suggest ringing them (even if you don't have one) to see if they can help (although their rep is not great they might be able to do somethng if they know how desperate you are)

Original poster
cheeryface · 13/06/2011 17:16

tried to video it but set up camera (secretly inside a box ) and it all happened in another room. only does 20 mins at a time .
camhs have given us a specialist social worker to see him. psych saw him for 25 minutes , did ados test and ruled out asd. thats it. social worker thinks star charts are the way forward i think.

OP posts:
StarlightMcKenzie · 13/06/2011 17:18

star charts? FFS these people shouldn't be in employment!
Ask the SW to come and demonstrate just exactly HOW star charts work with your ds.

unpa1dcar3r · 13/06/2011 17:32

Yeah get him a star chart, something else for him to hit you over the head with, that'll do the trick FFS. I wonder what it's like on their planet; think they all go round in fairy dresses singing 'tralalalala I'm happy as a daisy'.

IndigoBell · 13/06/2011 17:33

If he is threatening to kill you or kill himself, A & E might be a good place to go.

They will get him seen by a psych if you take him in like that........

PipinJo · 13/06/2011 17:36

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Original poster
cheeryface · 13/06/2011 17:46

if i take him to A & E i think he would go totally mute by the time we got there. theyd prob think it was me who had the problem!

red , yellow and green cards that was another great suggestion !

OP posts:
Original poster
cheeryface · 13/06/2011 17:48

todays started because he didnt want to do p.e at school and i wouldnt make up lies and give him a note. can be anything though.

OP posts:
unpa1dcar3r · 13/06/2011 17:53

Why doesn't he want to do PE? is he being bullied there? My lil bro (well, not so little now in his 40's) was bullied terribly in PE even by the teacher cos he had such skinny legs :(

Maryz · 13/06/2011 17:55

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TheOriginalFAB · 13/06/2011 17:56

Do you need someone to watch your other children or drive you there?

Original poster
cheeryface · 13/06/2011 18:05

i could get a taxi i suppose.
hes ranting now. i cant believe the things hes saying. yesterday he did well at karate and i couldnt have praised him anymore and promised him a new bag etc. hes just ranted on to himself ' tried my best yesterday and my own mum didnt say well done'
i think he is actually insane.
hes saying everything he can to hurt me such as that i should be helping him sort his room out now hes trashed it as im a woman and its my fault etc etc

OP posts:
Maryz · 13/06/2011 18:10

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smileANDwave2000 · 13/06/2011 18:12

another thing is if you had a dictaphone or a way to record on your phone ? worth a try firstly when hes calm again it would be good idea to show him what he sounded like and obviously be able to show a&e or camhs what hes really like in full swing , My GP wouldnt give any meds for slleep problems or ds's meltdowns he said not allowed to Confused but i shoule get them off camhs but camhs however bad hes been have been reluctant to px as well weird but they said we have to try other avenues first and meds are last resort dont know what your cahs are like on this, everyone in past said bloody star charts Angry what how stupid do we look ummm think weve tried that but hey id love to see them offer my ds a star for not throwing himself onto the sofa ,floor, wall,door or window when in full meltdown im sure an ickle gold star will make all the difference .....Pillocks (have my polite head on today aunt Sally) Grin

smileANDwave2000 · 13/06/2011 18:17

yes ds does this school even said same thing he goes bananas and almost blanks out and cant remember anything he said or did after , just letting you know as to reasure you itsprobably normal IYKWIM

merlincat · 13/06/2011 18:18

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Original poster
cheeryface · 13/06/2011 18:29

thankyou youre all lovely. merlincat , very kind of you but im in manchester. dh has phoned to say he will be back soon, earlier than expected...there is a god !!
although dh doesnt have much patience especially after starting work at 4:30am

OP posts:
conrsikl · 13/06/2011 19:05

Poor you cheery face Sad my ds was just like that last year when he was having lots of anxiety over school. It's so hard.

conrsikl · 13/06/2011 19:05

Is he in Y7?

unpa1dcar3r · 13/06/2011 19:14

Hope he calms down soon for you Cheery. If it's any consolation my youngest tells me to 'die-die-die' about a 1000 times a day!!! Maybe He'll be better for your husband?