am I doing the right thing??

[mieow]

My MIL has managed to get someone to try and get us places on a trip
to Tenerif to swim with doplfins. Now I beleive that Connor and
Bethan's needs do not warrent this trip and that many children with
severe problems would benifit greatly. Jay thinks that we should
take it if we get a place but I feel that we would be taking 2
places from children that would get so much more from it. Connor and
Bethan can both walk, are aware of the world around them and are
both bright children that would like a trip to Legoland better....

Mieow - why would they need to warrant the trip?? Is the whole trip organised for children with particular special needs? Even if it is and there are spare places surely no-one would mind your children going.

I believe that this kind of trip really benifits children with sereve problems, and I have a list here that SS gave me, that has 2 pages of children waiting for holidays, and some of these children die before they get there.

Well in that case yeah - if you feel strongly about it, and I understand why, make sure the places goes to 2 children who you feel will benefit more from it - if there's a waiting list and these children are really ill etc, then it would be great for them to go. On the other hand if no-one is available / able to go on the trip and the 2 places really are spare it would nice if your kids got to share in the experience.

mieow how thoughtful of you and considerate.
Do what you feel is right for you and your children.