Dh, resigning from work

[RockingAlong]

First off I am a serial namechanger, I have posted on here before though :)
Need some advise really. We have two dc, ds is 10 and very severely autistic, dd is nt.
I have mental health problems, depression /anxiety which is managed, just.
Dh works full time stressful job, long hours.
I struggle hugely managing ds, we have a good support package in place for him from ss, all the services he acceses are 2 members of staff to ds, due to his behaviour.
I think atm as does dh if he is to remain at home & notgo into residental care that I cannot do this alone.
How the hell would this work? Would dh resign?
What would we be entitled to in terms of benifits. We own our house so how would we pay the mortgage.
I know this is on sn so hopefully no flaming - I love my ds but honestly cannot do this on my own anymore.
tia

Hi. We were exactly in your position a good few years ago . If you pm me I can answer your questions and explain what we did. Im around all evening.

Hi Rocking, I have no experience with AS, so please forgive me if I get it all wrong. DH is without work and it has been tremendously stressful for us for a number of reasons: no money, more mess, problem with self-confidence etc.
When I read your post, it seems to me that maybe residential care is the way forward for you. It might be good for you, your DD, for DH and you DS. I know I am nor really replying to the opening post and hope you have gotten some ideas from Bigpants.

Thanks Bigpants, I have sent you a pm.
Thank you too Glimmer, sorry to hear things are so stressful for you atm. Resi care is a scary thought, we love him he's ours and I can't get my head around the fact that people with no emotional link to him would be caring for him, also all the shit that has hit the fan recently wrt resi :( :(

We too are in a very similar situation at the moment. Our son is a very strong 15 year old with sld and asd. I am finding it more and more difficult to physically manage him and even with dh off work this week we have struggled. We are considering shared care, which is where the person spends 3 overnights away from home and the rest at home. It is scary to consider full time residental at this stage. It is causing alot of heartache. I would love pm's to hear what other solutions people have found.

My son has ASD, he's 10. I have an aqcuaintance, who's son is also ASD and two years ago, he went into residential care as a weekly boarder.....ie just home at the weekends. It was hard for her to let go of him. He's now doing really well in his new school. It was the best descision for her and for him.