DD at the top of the stairs refusing bed, any ideas appreciated really desperate

[used2bthin]

I work with children and yet can't seem to deal with my own child calmly. Just lost it with her and hurt her (by accident)putting her back to bed, she hits and kicks me and is big now (coming up 5 but v big for her age) so I don't think I can put her in bed again and anyway she just keeps coming out, calling mummy etc and I have given in a miliion times this evening and sung so many songs (one more!!).

I am feeling on the edge tbh, am on my own with her tonight and could really do with some advice so that when I do take her back to bed I have a plan.

She has quite limited understanding of language, so sort of two year old level. I also think she is genuinely insecure at the moment (won't go into it but family issues) so really want to be calm just am rubbish at it.

I totally understand, I have over 20 years experience of working with kids, but when it's 24 hours a day and they know how to push your buttons it's a different matter!

How about a song/story CD in her bedroom?
Large G & T (for you not her!)

Thanks Hellenbach yes it is different, I have been at work all day so feel even worse that having been friendly and calm all day I now have no patience left for my own child. I must get her little cd player fixed, it broke but I think she probably would like that. I have never tried it at bed time before due to her being so obsessive about stuff, I worry that she would wake up demanding it be on all night iyswim. G and T sounds a good plan!

She has now sneaked downstairs and is on the sofa quietly, as if she thinks I may not notice!! I am just having to ignore her for a bit as don't trust myself not to lose it again.

DS2, same age, is occasionally like this. It is either the noice of the wind/rain or it is because his nightlight isn't on.

Does she have a nightlight? DS2 has never been able to seep without a nightlight, we did try not having one (when he broke the charger) but it was a nightmare.

I wouldn't put her to bed. Leave her there. Shut the door so you can't hear her, put the tv on etc and just leave her there.

She'll either put herself to bed, or fall asleep on the stairs. Either are fine.

I've even asked my 6 year old to put me to bed. He's really angelic then and reads me a bedtime story and everything :)

But often I don't put him to bed and just leave him. And find him in the morning asleep on the floor somewhere.....

5inthebed, she has asked for the lamp to be left on and door open the last few nights including tonight so I have done that. Funny you say about the wond because she'd slept well for months until last week when she was woken by the sound of the wind and she's been unsettled since.

Indigobell I am just ignoring her now, no door though so the stairs are in the living room although she has now crept downstairs and is on the sofa with me watching BGT. I really think she thinks I haven't noticed her!

I am worried she will do this every night though since i am letting her.

She has gone to sleep! Now just have to carry her upstairs. Hope she doesn't wake up wondering why she isn't still on the sofa! Argh bedtime for me soon too am shattered.

Gld she went to sleep, hope she settles tonight for you.